Should I take him back??

Question

My bf friend and I have been together for 2 years and we've lived together for 6 months. We've been having trust issues because I'm finding out that he lies a lot more than I thought.

Well to make a long story short I found out that he had an ad on an on line dating service. I spoke to a young lady that he'd been communicating with. Although they had not met I feel that the intent was there.

I kicked him and out and he has been begging my forgiveness. I'm beginning to wonder if he's begging me for me or if he's begging me because he has no place to go. The first night he slept in his car and the second he slept in a hotel.

I'm thinking of letting him move back until he finds a place but ending the relationship.

I'm open to any and all comments.

Answer 1

Hi ya,
exactly the same thing happened to me. I was angry at first but forgave my partner. Sometimes blokes get bored and it might have just been some harmless flirting. My partner didn't have anywhere to live either. So i was thinking is he trying to look for another girlfriend and just staying here until he found one.
If you think you have a future with this guy then theres no harm to give it another go.
Or just test him and say you can stay till you find somewhere but i only want to be friends. When he moves back in see if he is still keen after you saying that.
Me and my partner are still together and have a kid.
Hope this helps x

Answer 2

Sweetie, you have such a soft heart...you're a gem of a person.

Now, can you find it in your heart to forgive him and take him back and give the relationship another chance? Is this his first serious offense? If NO to both questions, then it's obvious that trust has really gone out of the window. Trust can be re-built but it takes time and a lot of effort. More often than not, it's easier to learn to love a person again than it is to trust him again. Would you consider giving it a try anyway?
Still NO? Think about it some more. Search your heart. You're hurting right now....just maybe you can't think straight as yet. There must have been something really good about those 2 years of the relationship worth saving...please give this a serious thought.

Letting him back till he finds a place??? I don't think that's wise. Until you are convinced of what exactly you want to do
(with the relationship), you should avoid any contact with him.
Now, if you're ready, then have the talk with him and start anew. Good luck, sweetie.

Question: The place you're staying in, who's paying for it? You know if he's sharing with the rent, he has some "rights" to live there too. So -------------
If this is the case, I guess it's okay to let him back in as a "guest" (you know what I mean). Again, until you know exactly what to do, your bedroom should be "off-limits" to him (you know what I mean).

You're gonna be okay!

Answer 3

No way, regardless if you may or may not take him back, there is no need to have him living with you. What is he going to do to your things when you're not around and what is he going to snoop through. Out of sight out of mind-Just forget about him. Easier said than done but the less you can see of him the easier it will be for you to move on and find a trusting, loving man. Anyway, he will just be using you if you let him stay. And who knows the extent. What if you meat another man in that time. Do you think he will be OK with your ex hanging out at home with you?

Answer 4

Can you really say with honesty that after moving back in, he will save his money and find another place to live in? You have to really see what it is you want. Are you only using this as an excuse to get him back? If you let him back in without first resolving this conflict I don't think you both will be able to live under the same roof without being hostile. Also, how will you deal with your anger with day to day living and his sexual advances once he moves back in? I believe this will only cost you more heartache and confusion. It is obvious he knows you are a kind hearted person and has learn ed to take advantage of this. If he is man enough to bed down with you, then he should be man enough to find himself a place to live in. There are Motels out there you know. Stop babying him, and start thinking of what is best for you. I feel this is what has caused him to be sure of your love for him and to see you as a push over. Start thinking of what is in your best interest, not his. After all he was the one that made the decision to email another female. And believe me, his intentions were not just to be friends with this person. Let that thought penetrate your brain before making a decision to let him move back in..

Answer 5

i didn't even read your whole thing, i just saw the title and figured hey if you want him back then take him back, thats what love is, doesn't matter what he did if you can find it in your heart to forgive and you want too then do it and be with him.

I did skim through it though and im not sure, he might just need a place to stay, i've had this happen before. You gotta be carful. he can't be trusted. if you do let him stay with you, you for sure have to end the relationship if you can't trust him.

Answer 6

I think he needs to feel like he's lost you...He needs to work a little harder in winning you back if he doesn't get that feeling where he's lost you forever he won't change...What was he missing that he had to look for in a dating service?? Were you guys getting along well?? How's the communication?? Evaluate what went wrong and then make him suffer and work hard for you...He will appreciate you more this time around...Good Luck!!

Answer 7

Every action has a consequence...
If he contributes to the bills let him back with a time frame to move out.
I wouldn't move forward with the relationship unless you are absolutely confident that he will change and be an open book to you.
Good luck

Answer 8

if u let him move back in ( i know i dont know you )but most likely you will not stick to your guns and just let him find a place and then move out..feelings are still there...he put ur relationship and his living status and everything you had on the line he was dumb enough to put all that on the line and he got caught and it serves him right i dont think u should take him back move on stop talking to him and do good for urself i know its easier said than done but in the end its worth it

Answer 9

It's not really your issue. Dont get me wrong. You did get hurt. But unless he is ready to open his life up to you completely to earn your trust back then it is not worth the time and effort on your part. He has to prove to you that he is serious and wants you back. I really hope it works out.
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Answer 10

IF he pays his share of the household expenses,,I would have him come back but only as friends until he can find another place.If he does not pay ,,then leave his azz out there.