English Deutsch Français Italiano Español Português 繁體中文 Bahasa Indonesia Tiếng Việt ภาษาไทย
All categories

Hello. I'm wondering if this would be acceptable or not. I have 5 siblings who are all married and have between 2-5 kids each. My Fiance has only 2 brothers 1 is not married and neither has kids. We are having a casual BBQ reception at our home a few months after we get married out of state and I want to invite only my siblings and their families, my parents and my aunts and uncles. I have literally 50 cousins and many of them I dont know or have never talked to. I dont want to invite them as they would also bring all their families and it would get to be too many people. My fiance though, wants to invite his aunts, uncles AND cousins. He has maybe only 10 or so. Would it be incredibly rude for us to invite his cousins and not mine? I just dont know the rules of etiquette regarding this type of thing.
THANKS

2007-03-22 05:58:47 · 17 answers · asked by snailysnal 4 in Family & Relationships Weddings

17 answers

No, it's fine. Why should you invite a bunch of people that you don't particularly want there, and why should he have to not invite people that he does? You're just trying to keep the list manageable and equal. It wouldn't be any more fair if you had a hundred guests and he has ten.

More than likely, your side of the family does not know his. And more than likely, they aren't going to mingle much. Your family will talk to your family, and his family will talk to his. They aren't going to gather around the punch bowl and discuss your respective family trees to figure out that he has cousins there and you don't. If you both invite a few friends, it will be even harder for anyone to figure out relations.

If someone does happen to figure out that his cousins were invited while yours weren't and if they mention it, just remember that it's very rude of them to say something to you about it, and just say that you simply couldn't invite everyone you both wanted to and walk away.

2007-03-22 07:30:41 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0 0

I think unless your fiance is close to his cousins he shouldn't invite them. The way we worked the 'cousins' thing was that we invited the ones that we really wanted to come but made sure that they couldn't slip up and tell the ones we didn't invite. Like I'm not at all close to my father's family so I didn't invite any of my cousins but I am closer to my mother's family so I invited them. My dad's family lives in Alabama and Mom's family is up north and my parents are divorced so there wasn't any awkwardness. I think your fiance is getting a little overzealous!

2007-03-22 06:10:52 · answer #2 · answered by Kitten 4 · 0 0

If this became intentional it became extremely cheesy to ask you to the bathe w/o inviting you to the marriage. it might tick me off too if this exceeded off to me! Too undesirable you already sent the present. i might call the bride's mom to make sparkling or embarrass, besides the fact that the case could be: "i became invited to the bathe, yet in no way won an invite to the marriage. i'm thinking if perhaps my invitation became misplaced interior the mail." And now and lower back, that's. My mothers and fathers are making plans their anniversary occasion, and all the clergy at their synagogue won an invite different than the top rabbi. He wasn't specific besides the fact that if he might desire to declare something, yet he spoke up. My mothers and fathers are actually investigating besides the fact that if there became a mixture up on the invites shop or the post place of work. a minimum of somebody else did not get carry of their invitation the two.

2016-11-27 22:36:05 · answer #3 · answered by turnbow 4 · 0 0

You can do this. The problem happens when you invite one of your cousins and not another. If anyone questions it, tell them the truth. Even inviting his entire family didn't come close to your family and you were trying to keep an equal amount from both sides, and there has to be some sort of limit.

2007-03-22 06:09:36 · answer #4 · answered by J M 4 · 0 0

Don't worry about the long- lost relatives, just send out announcements. If they aren't invited they will assume that the others weren't either. Let your hubby have his family over as there aren't so many of them they may be closer than the relatives you never see. You need to make you and hubby happy not the rest of the world. Otherwise it will always be a dark cloud hanging over your head. Announcements are the perfect way to say "oh, by the way I got married", without excluding anyone.

2007-03-22 06:06:47 · answer #5 · answered by Poot's Mama 2 · 0 0

I don't see a problem with it. Since you have a large family and don't know many of your cousins I see no reason to invite them, also since he has such a small family the distant relatives and immediate relatives are much closer. Maybe to keep things smaller you could have a "no child under the age of ___" rule. Usually the age limit is no one under 16-12, depending on your preference. Good luck!

2007-03-22 06:26:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Not at all! I find it makes sense if he invites his aunts uncles and cousins, since he's got less people to invite.
If people in your family are asking themselves why, just politely explain that you are limited as to how many people on each side you can invite and you had to make it fair for your husband as well.

Hope this helps.

2007-03-22 06:40:10 · answer #7 · answered by ButterflyBride 1 · 0 0

I wouldn't invite either set of cousins. Family feuds have been caused over such things. While I understand the vastness of your family compared to his, I would steer clear of cousins or anyone distant and only have immediate family. Either that or invite the whole clan.

2007-03-22 06:39:23 · answer #8 · answered by Brandy 6 · 0 0

The rule for weddings is invite the people you want to have there sharing your special day. So by all means invite your finace's cousins. If you haven't even met yours then they probably won't even know or care and in the event they do care it shouldn't matter to you becasue you'll never know!

2007-03-22 06:42:08 · answer #9 · answered by Michelle118 4 · 0 0

A lot of this depends on culture. In my culture, or at least in my family, you cant invite your cousins without inviting your cousins. Its offensive. But think of it this way, your cousins may not even want to go if they dont know you. Specially if they are aware its a casual BBQ thing, they may feel out of place.

2007-03-22 06:04:30 · answer #10 · answered by MariChelita 5 · 0 1

fedest.com, questions and answers