I'll try to keep as much to the point as possible, but she's crap. We live over 100 miles from her, and she hasn't come to see her son's new house since we moved 5 months ago. She doesn't buy him a birthday present, or anything at all for xmas (bearing in mind the 2 from next marriage get lavished with gifts). She's quite happy to just take from him, and does nothing in return. No help with new house at all, not even a token wine glass which would have been a nice thought. But I heard him on the phone to her the other night saying we would drive down (again), and take her for a meal! And we aren't exactly loaded due to new house. He said why don't you come and see the new house, and she said she can't because her dogs won't want to travel that far, so she's basically told him she's not going to visit ever. Why is he so desperate for her approval when she's just not interested. I'm biting my tongue at the moment but really mad! And this is just 1 small example.
2007-03-22 05:50:36 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
dont get involved leave it to him to sort out .
2007-03-22 05:55:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What really matter here is firstly - you have a wonder caring and loving boyfriend. Secondly - by inviting her - he is doing his part of being a son. If she doesn't come - her loss. It would be wonderful if the world was perfect and everyone could do what we think is right, but you can't please everybody all of the time - so you have to live with being able to please some people some of the time. She sounds to me like she is being unreasonable - but let her be. Don't get upset with him for wanting her approval - he is just being human - Look mum - I have done well - I have a beautiful g/friend and we have a beautiful home. Like when your kid comes home from school with a blob of paint on a piece of paper and they are so proud of it they want to show you it and then they want it pride of place on the fridge. Same applies here. He wants her to know he is happy.
It take a lot for him to forgive her and accept she won't come over - then to make plans to go over to see her and make an evening/day of it, taking her for a meal. He clearly has loyalty and love for her and in return this means he is loving and loyal to you - so somewhere along the line he has learned this from his parents - Twisted thought!!!
Just be there for him and support him - be proud of his morals and enjoy your life together - after all you are with him and love him and he you - you are not going to marry her and don't need to like her - but don't bad mouth her, just carry on being supportive - your b/f will love you more for the later than the slagging off his mother - trust me....
2007-03-26 00:26:19 · answer #2 · answered by Roxy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
See where you are coming from but don't try to get him to turn against his mum. Just be thankful you now live over 100 miles away. Sounds it would be worse if she was nearer hand. Probably if you think long and hard you are really glad you don't have to put up with her visiting. She would only get up your nose. Just imagine if she stayed over every weekend or landed on you for weeks at a time. Count your blessings!!!
2007-03-22 11:05:29 · answer #3 · answered by Ms Mat Urity 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He is desparate for her approval because, at the end of the day, she is still his mum. Who doesn't want their mum to love them even if they are being horrid. Who wouldn't make a sacrifice if they thought that would win them over?
Unless your partner is willing to turn his back on her all you can do is support him and love him twice as much to try to make it up. Criticising her will only make him feel a bit nagative towards you.
Let him try all he can. Be sweetness and light and beyond reproach in all your dealings with her. Travelling 100 miles and buying a lunch is small potatoes if it helps keep your man feeling that he is doing his best by her.
2007-03-22 05:58:27 · answer #4 · answered by Leapling 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I oftentimes get her some thing remarkable that pertains to her pastimes/style. final 3 hundred and sixty 5 days I have been given her a surprising artwork calendar of one of her regularly occurring artists (i'm an artwork background graduate so it replaced into remarkable that it replaced into some thing we the two proportion a keenness for). in any different case, the different poster had some large recommendations--image frames are continuously large--possibly with a image of your boyfriend as slightly boy? And Vouchers are continuously welcome!
2016-10-19 08:32:29 · answer #5 · answered by thedford 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me like you are keeping score. I suggest you don't run a tab on the boyfriend too. Be glad the relationship
with his mum isn't complicated. Make a point to see she gets a small cookbook from reader each time he has time to visit her. Think of it as providing something that will stare at her face demanding acknowledgement.
2007-03-24 18:48:16 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What a selfish cow. I feel sorry for your boyfriend, he's trying so hard to impress her & get her involved & look whats he getting in return. I would'nt exactly give her a Mum of the Year award. It sounds like to me, she maybe sulking cos you've moved away so far from her & she feels as though you've taken away her litte boy & she's punishing you for it, but thats not fair, she needs to let go & frankly grow up a little bit.
2007-03-22 06:09:19 · answer #7 · answered by CHELSEAGIRL 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My sister has the same problem. Men just seem to love their mothers blindly. I suggest do not say anything until you really are at breaking point, it would probably just make some friction between you and the man and make no difference to how he acts towards his mother. It is unfortunately just one of those things you really must tolerate. But they say men who are good to their mothers will be good to their wife, so maybe it's not all bad.
Good luck! Hope that helps!
2007-03-22 06:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't know how long you have been with him, but I would evaluate how much you want to be involved with that. Being you are simply the girlfriend and not the wife, you still have options. You can express your concerns to your boyfriend but he needs to make the decision to put his foot down or continue to leave things as they are. If you really can't deal with that, it would be better to decide that now. You can't change him, he is the only one that can but you can direct your future. If you do marry him, she is family like it our not!
Good luck to you both!
2007-03-22 06:02:04 · answer #9 · answered by Melissa C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep she does sound crap and I can tell why you would be angry. You care about your boyfriend after all. But if he hasn't got a problem with his mother, then neither should you. It will only cause friction in your relationship. Just support his decisions.
2007-03-22 06:00:08 · answer #10 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Never, ever try to come between a boy and his mother - you will lose I promise you.
No, she doesn't sound great, but that's the relationship he has with her and you have to respect it. Of course he wants to see her and spend time with her, you would be more worried if he didn't. While he is happy with it, you have to go along with it too. The alternative is to lose him...
2007-03-22 05:56:44 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋