feeling appreciated?

Question

I am a nurse and make good money. I also receive a pension from my husbands death. I give half of it to my son because he is in college. He thinks half of it is his and he deserves it. He is grateful that I give it to him but really, it is expected because (he says) I left his dad. (his drinking killed him and us) I also have a boyfriend I love a lot. I pay all the bills and he only pays half the rent. I am ok with this but sometimes I feel like they just go on with their lives happy and don't even really appreciate what I do for them. My boyfriend has been off work with his back and has been grumpy but it always gets turned around to where he thinks I am the grumpy one. I work harder that they do by far. I work 12 hour night shifts in a ccu. It seems like they think I have the life of luxury and get paid all this money for practically no effort. Am I just feeling sorry for myself or should I expect more from them? I know it is my own fault... but why do I feel so unappreciated?

Answer 1

i am a nurse too and its not easy working on long hours in the hospital and taking care of people you dont know. I understand how you feel because our patients appreciate what we do for them but our own family doesnt. right? Your son is in college and he is old enough to decide for himself. Just give him what he needs and wants. At least you have done your part in being a responsible mother to him. Nevertheless, he is your son and he has the right to be so.
In your bf's case, he should not become so dependent of you. No woman can afford to have a man that would just wait for blessing and do nothing and be grumpy. He should be responsible enough and be a man. If he is acting like this and he is still your bf, i guess he would become worse if he becomes your husband. get it? There are still a lot of good fishes in the sea. You dont need another pain in the *** guy to be happy again. You can be single again and spend time with your son. I think that would be better. Sometimes women need to be appreciated. Or you can cheer yourself up. go shopping, be beautiful and enjoy. There's more to life than you know..girl, im still 22 but i know how to deal with life already..just learn how to pray and open your eyes on what's real

Answer 2

Sounds like your son still has issues with the divorce, I think sharing the money with him is an honorable thing you do and as long as he is going to school and working on improving his future I would give him all the support I could.
As for your boyfriend, you could be playing the role of enabler. There is not enough info to determine if he is using his back as an excuse not to work or is he in constant pain?
Before he hurt his back did he contribute to the household more so then he does now?
If he is in constant pain that tends to make people irritable.
Look to see if the four A's exists in your relationship: Acceptance, Affection, Appreciation and Attention.
If your relationship does not possess these characteristics you may want to consider going it alone for a while.

Good Luck!