My ex-husband and I have been divorced for 7 years. It was an amicable split and we have remained friends. Back in 2005, I purposely introduced him to a single friend of mine whom I met in 2003. They hit it off, and after a year of dating, they got in engaged over Christmas of 2006. He keeps thanking me for the introduction, as he never would have met his fiancee if not for me and tells me that I and my fiancee are invited to their wedding this November. I am very happy for them and would like to go...there's just one problem: his family really doesn't like me. I am afraid that this might cause a problem at their ceremony and reception. I know that my female friend, his fiancee, wants me to be there too. What should I do? Should I go, or should I graciously bow out to avoid any conflict starting because I am present? Has anyone else ever been faced with this dilema? And if I go, where should I be seated?? ANY help would be gratefully appreciated!
2007-03-22 05:18:02 · 32 answers · asked by Phoenix 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
By being seated, I mean when I walk into the church and the usher asks "Bride or Groom". They are having a reception at a very nice place and will probably already assign seats for that.
2007-03-22 05:26:26 · update #1
I think it's wonderful that the two of you have been able to remain friends. The fact that you were able to hook him and a friend up shows a strong maturity and that you're feelings for him are no longer what they once were. If they want you there - and you want to go - it's their wedding, not his family's. As far as seating goes - if his family's not warm toward you - sit on the bride's side. I don't think it'd matter to them as long as you're there.
2007-03-22 05:25:09 · answer #1 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Don't think of going until you get an invitation IN THE MAIL. Words are cheap.. ! Now IF you get an invitation, go to the church wedding and skip the reception. You will have gone to the "wedding" for your friend and skipped the scorn of the grooms family at the reception. In the church you would sit on the left with the brides family and friends (you are not related nor a friend of the groom any more) I'd sit in the back (so you can get a good view of the bride coming into the church) in case you are asked about it. Leave as quickly as possible so as to avoid the grooms family at the church. If you get eyeball to eyeball with the brides family simply comment on how beautiful she looks in her dress. Any brides mother will accept that compliment with a smile. At least her mother will have a good memory of your being there. You do have another committment for the time of the reception. Or you broke the heel of the only shoes that match your reception dress.
2007-03-22 05:26:36 · answer #2 · answered by ricketyoldbat 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Nice job on being civil when it comes to divorce. It is to bad that the rest of your x's family can't be the same. If it will really cause a stir if you attend the wedding then I would give my best to the bride and groom and not attend the wedding. It is there special day and any conflict could up set that. Explain what you are feeling to the wedding party and I am sure they will understand. After all we are all grown adults here. If you do decide to go I would strongly recommend you sit on the bride side towards the back. That way no one will get hopefully in a tissy.
2007-03-22 05:27:26 · answer #3 · answered by mellow 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Go to the wedding. You were invited to share in their special day and if his family has an issue with you they will have to get over it. This day is about your ex and his new bride-to-be, not your exes family.
Best bet to avoid conflict though, be seated on the brides side and at the reception try to sit as far away from his family as you can. If his family starts a problem, then at that point politely excuse yourself and leave. Make sure you let your ex know that you are leaving and wish him luck and many congratulations on the way out though.
2007-03-22 05:25:24 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Aye, thats a toughie. Let me first start by saying that I am REALLY impressed with your maturity level, you dont hear many stories like yours, in fact your is the only I have ever heard, but it gives me hope that not all people are vindictive and mean. So kudos to you!
They seem to really want you to go, would you consider maybe going to the ceremony and not the reception? Maybe that would be a good choice so you could show your support to them, but it would keep you in a situation where you wouldnt get the stink eye from others because they wont be focused on you. If someone is going to say or start somthing it would be at the reception, not the church, so that would be a "safe" area for you and your fiance. I dont know if this is a good answer or not.
2007-03-22 05:27:12 · answer #5 · answered by kateqd30 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
yes u should go, thats if u WANT to. U were invited! its not like u are showing up unwanted by the bride and groom. they are all that matters here, not everyone else. U and X hubby are clearly friends and he is grateful for u to bring his bride to him after all u two have been through. that is special and he will never forget that. Just think... u could have easily been asked to be a brides maild or even the maid of honor! how weird would that have been?!!!! LOL anyway i would go if u want to and not worry what the family felt. u were invited! If it wasnt for YOU, no one would be going to the wedding in the first place. this wedding is because of YOUR unselfishness and ur love u have for this man. even though marriage didnt work out between u and him, u still cared enough to try and make ur friend (ur X) happy. and u DID. YOU found him a wife! wow. good luck and God Bless. I pray u make the right choice.
2007-03-22 05:35:28 · answer #6 · answered by goober 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First off, I am very sorry for what you went via in my opinion. I am completely satisfied that you're going to treatment and getting aid for anything that used to be now not your fault. I are not able to feel the responses in this board. You had been the sufferer, you needed to manage it and you probably did to your possess manner. Yes, your entire famiy suffered, however you men have become via it individually. But the query you've gotten requested is approximately your marriage ceremony and your ex. You've already invited him, you are not able to particularly uninvite him, I do not feel he'll make a scene, and if he does so what? He appears like an fool. And you continue to get to marry the person you're keen on, and that is extra major.
2016-09-05 11:57:29 · answer #7 · answered by jensen 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they want you to go and your and your fiancee are comfortable enough with your ex and his fiancee then go. It is their wedding and it seems as if they don't care what his family says, as for seating, they might have already assigned you a seat so you don't have to worry about it, and if they haven't you probably already know some of their friends being that you were married to the groom and are friends with the bride so sit with them.
2007-03-22 05:22:02 · answer #8 · answered by kaicey247 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
All that matters is that your exhubby and his bride to be want you there and that your fiance is o.k with it. If his family causes a raucus at his reception, it will only look bad on them since you were invited. Plus, they have you to thank for the new chic. If you do go, i suggest you sit closer to the back. That might ease some tensions between you and the family. Or, just show up for the ceremony and don't go to the reception (it will be hard for the family to cause problems at the church).
2007-03-22 07:51:59 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
What is his family really gonna do to you if they see you? Will they phyiscally remove you? Or will they merely shoot you dirty looks? Be the mature one here. Go to the wedding after all the bride AND the groom both want you there. Who cares that his family doesn't care for you. As far as the seating, to avoid further conflict sit on the Bride's side.
2007-03-22 06:09:52 · answer #10 · answered by Kimmy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋