i confronted my boyfriend as to why he hasn't taken me to his house after 3 months of dating,, then he turned around and said that he isn't comfortable bringing people that he hasn't been with for that long to his house.. saying that his home is his "sanctuary". i just feel insecure though i see him often. when i asked him if he had a wife he said he wouldn't be spending as much time with me if he did! anyway, during the argument he went on to say that some would say he's too smart for me... that really hurt me and i feel so sad right now... he owns buildings, has an associate degree and much more money than i do... i have a degree also, but i guess that's not good enough.. he has done great things for me but i'm hurt that he thinks he's too smart for me and that i try to outsmart him as he said... am i overreacting??
2007-03-22 05:09:34 · 19 answers · asked by nizo 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You are obviously his mistress
What kind of guy would tell you he had a family even if he is confronted. Of course he is not going to tell you, he would not get to see you anymore.
Start acting more exclusive. Tell him you don't have time to see him an such. Dont be desperate. Make a big space between the two of you and see what happens. He either brings you to his house or its over. Don't stand for any less, if you do you are giving him permission to treat you badly.
Just because he owns buildings and makes more money tham you does not make him smart or better than you in any way
Plus if he is willing to trash talk you in a converstation this is not a good sign. He is using it is an oppertunity to make your self esteem low so that you will cling to him.
Honey, this guy is a real dirt bag. Money isnt everything.
2007-03-22 05:13:09 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
no your not overreacting... he was a real jerk for saying hes smarter than you and hes too smart for you to outsmart him... so he doesnt want to show you his house... thats a sign that he might be married... i dont know... but you need to find out if he does have someone else.. as far as degrees and achievements go... he cant use that as leverage to say hes smarter than you.. thats very insenstiive.. how successful you are cant dictate how much your compatible with someone or if your right for each other.. i think if he acts like that again... you should cut him off from what he likes.. kisses or whatever things you guys do that he likes...:p
2007-03-22 12:17:26 · answer #2 · answered by dramoonzer 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are absolutely not overreacting! This guy has been with you long enough to show you his pad, you are definitely not being unreasonable and he clearly has something to hide. As far as him saying he's too smart for you that was a very low blow and you don't need to be with someone who thinks they are better than you. It's only been 3 months, you can still leave with your dignity.
2007-03-22 12:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by Vivita 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he's hiding something. He didn't exactly directly answer your question regarding a wife. He may not be married, but he could very well have a girlfriend at home. AND the answer of if I was married, I wouldn't spend "as much" time with you indicates he a cheater. Fraudian slip!
2007-03-22 12:16:26 · answer #4 · answered by Jena P 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since he brought up the difference in your intelligence levels, and that he is smarter, you already have a problem in this relationship. His "sanctuary" probably includes a wife and kids. His reason for being able to spend time with you may hinge on being able to tell his wife that he is working. I would get out of this situation and PROVE that you are smarter than he is.
2007-03-22 12:16:23 · answer #5 · answered by sensible_man 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just show up at his house one day and ring the doorbell if another woman or a child answers then he's married and if the woman does answer inform her that her husband has been dating you for three months and then he'll be left with nothing. I think he's just trying to avoid taking you to his house because he is married. I think he's full of **** for treating his house more importantly than you that isn't right.
2007-03-22 12:14:54 · answer #6 · answered by alwaysandforever 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Someone who likes or loves you does not put you down.Even people who care don't put u down.It seems that he is only into himself.He just wants someone he can be with so he wont feel lonely.Not someone he wants to be with for the rest of his life. He might be the worlds richest and sexiest man on earth, but that can not stop you from walking away and finding someone who will respect you in every way.
2007-03-22 12:18:38 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You want to be with a guy who KNOWS you are very intelligent! And how old is he anyways? He obviously does not want you to check out his home... don't know why.. maybe he has a girlfriend that lives there or he lives with his parents and is embarrassed.. who knows.. Tell him to get off his high horse and quit putting you down.. it looks like he already has that effect on you. Girl, get your confidence back up because No he is not better nor smarter than you.
2007-03-22 12:20:38 · answer #8 · answered by Tara Bara 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He has an associate's degree and he feels superior?!? This guy sounds like a jerk.
Chris Rock said, "remember, if you've been dating a guy and you haven't met his friends or seen his home, you're the other woman."
2007-03-22 12:13:16 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are not overreacting. There is something amiss about your guy. His defensive reaction is a harbinger of the troubles to come. Be more confident about yourself and know that you deserve to be with someone who values you.
2007-03-22 12:13:51 · answer #10 · answered by gurlwithqs 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋