what should i do?

Question

ok, so I've been talking to this guy on-and off for awhile, when we first started talking, he just got out of a 2yr relationship which ended badly and he told me he didnt want to get into a relationship, he just wanted to be friends. (and I respected that so i backed off for awhile) Then this last month he's been calling, and texting wanting to see me and hang out with me, so I would go see him, and hang out and when we are together we have so much fun. But last night he brought up his ex, and he says that when he is really bored at work and a sad song comes on the radio he thinks about her for just a split second, but he swears up and down that he doesnt have any feelings for her anymore, and he cant stand her, its been 7 months since they broke up, and he tells me that he really likes me, and cares about me, but I was just wondering if Im still the rebound, or does he actually like me, and want to move on? or am i wasting my time with this guy?

Answer 1

I don't think you're the rebound at this point. It's natural for people to think about people they were with for a long time. Whether or not he's trustworthy and truly wants a meaningful relationship, I don't know. Trust your gut. Is he the type that would use you? Hope it works out the way you are hoping for... Good luck!

Answer 2

If you are the first one he's dated, your the rebound. But if there are no kids involved, it's an ex girlfriend and not ex-wife then it can work. Unless someone is heartless they will always have feelings for someone they love. That's normal when you open your heart to someone and have a history. You just need to make sure he is truly over it and wants a relationship with you because he likes you, not because he needs a void filled. Have a serious talk. Ask him what about you does he like, if they are all superficial then you are in bad shape. Make sure it's not about your looks. If he says you make me happy, that's not enough. What about you makes him happy. But if they are deep and meaningful it sounds like it may work. Your not fishing for compliments, you are concerned and what to make sure you are on the right track before you open your heart.

Answer 3

Perhaps you should read what you just wrote. Seven months of friendship compared to two years of a relationship.
This man obviously isnt one that is on a fling for friendship. He is around still and showing a deep interest in you. Maybe you should try and see what happens. Otherwise, you may miss out on the one that is meant for you. He has already shown that he can commit to one person and apparently has at least in his friendship with you.
Talk with him and see where his emotions stand and then between the two of you, you should be able to figure out if there is more to the friendship than just that, friendship. If its just friendship, then maybe he will let you know.
But the best way to find out if there is more is to talk with this man. He can give you the only answer that you need.
Good luck...

Answer 4

No, you're not wasting your time with the guy. Listen, it's natural to think about exes. Especially someone you were with for 2 years. But give him the benefit of the doubt as far as his feelings go for you. If he was mature enough to not jump right into a relationship with you, then he's a good guy. It seems like he waited until he got over her before considering anything with you. There's nothing wrong with that and I think you should go for it.

Answer 5

The fact that he shared that piece of info with you, shows that he trusts you enough to allow himself to open up.

I don't think you're the rebound. This guy sounds like he does like you alot. Just continue to be patient and understanding towards him.

Answer 6

Move one!