My boyrfriend and I have been dating for 6 months. All is very well and we do have a fantastic relationship that both of us have decided we want to continue into a future. Recently he hurt himself, lost his job and got his divorce - all within a matter of days. To say he was overwhelmed is an understatement. He worries he is going to loose me through all his turmoil, I continue to reassure him that will NOT happen. Herein lies the dilema - he has a short 2 months before he has to be out of the house - so his choices are pay rent - move into his daughters or live with me. He said he wants to move our relationship forward - move in - but that his children -grown adults - say that they are against it because it is "too soon" & would abandon him. My boyfriend was under the impression things were going okay with his kids and they good because he was happy even through this difficult time, now he feels torn in two & I am caught between never making this man choose and loosing him. HELP!
2007-03-22 04:58:15 · 7 answers · asked by martiek7 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
No, you need to stay out of it; it is his issue to address with his kids. If you try to intervene you are only going to make things worse and it could be the deciding factor of whether he choses them over you.
2007-03-22 05:04:00 · answer #1 · answered by bottleblondemama 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
His children to are in the same situation as your bf. They are overwhelmed by all that he's going through. I would keep up your relationship with him, but not move in together yet. Let things settle, let your bf find his ground and get himself settled. Let the kids have thier space also. Kids always say things they don't mean (even adult ones) and will eventually see thier dad is happy with you and be more accepting of the situation. Divorce is hard on a family, be patient, it will work out.
2007-03-22 05:08:29 · answer #2 · answered by chikadee 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your boyfriend sounds like a "Grown" Man who is well able to make this decision on his own. His children may mean well that they love him and care about their father considering all the things that has happen to him in just a short time. He needs to assure his daughters that he loves them as well and that he's grateful that they care and love him deeply but that if being with you is what he needs then they have to try to accept his decision. But, I don't think thats your place to do that. He needs to do that for himself and for the two of you in order to move forward. You don't want to be in the middle of their relationships because you don't want his children to blame you for anything. Keep your fingers cross and continue to support him. Maybe, if he moves in with his children it will help strengthen your relationship with him and his children....
2007-03-22 05:15:03 · answer #3 · answered by Yvette D 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If they had been young Children i would say give him and them a bit of space because in any Divorce the children suffer in one way or another.
Your man sounds like he needs you more than ever now support him the the best you can i bet you will pull through this a lot stronger very soon.
Best of Luck
2007-03-22 05:08:56 · answer #4 · answered by ashymojo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
His kids need to pound sand and they should be ashamed of themselves. he's an adult and can make up his own mind. As far as making him choose, that wouldn't be right. I would just say "Look, you can move in with me if you'd like. If you don't want to, that's fine too. I love you no matter what." then let him make up his own mind.
2007-03-22 05:05:55 · answer #5 · answered by H.B.K. 2 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if the kids are adults then its nothing to do with them...move things forward with your prtner and be happy xxx
2007-03-22 05:04:47 · answer #6 · answered by greyhound mummy 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
If you push him away from his kids - this will be a nightmare for you!
2007-03-22 05:06:13 · answer #7 · answered by Virgo 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋