should i hit the road?

Question

I am a 16 year old guy, I have been wanting to run away for the second time for a long time. My mother tries to control me too much and she gives me way too many rules! She lives with her alcoholic boyfriend that drinks mouthwash and she wont kick him out, I have 220 dollars, I could get a greyhound, and go see my g/f in dallas, or go to ohio and see my 28 year old sister. I am tired of my mom controlling me. I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE. I will be 17 in july, only 17. What should I do? Should I hit the road??? My life as I know it will be no more,if I get caught and have to go back home! I will have no freedoms. Not that I do now anyways. I need some advice.

i dont pray, im an atheist

Answer 1

Stay at home, my man. What you're feeling is perfectly natural. You are *almost* grown up, and you're chafing under your mom's rules. I was the exact same at your age, 15 years ago. Problem is, you're too young to live out in the world on your own.

$220 might get you the bus ticket and enough meals to get where you're going. But then what do you do? How are you going to eat? Has your sister agreed to support you? If so, for how long? You think your girlfriend's parents are going to support you? What if something goes wrong and you break up?

Even if your sister (or your g/f's parents) is (are) cool with it, you are a minor. In the U.S., that means that you have (almost) no legal rights until you either (a) turn 18 (or whatever the age of majority is in your state); or (b) are legally emancipated. Incidentally, legal emancipation takes a lawyer, a judge, income, a place to live, all of which are focused on MONEY, something you don't have.

Your mom can have the cops come to your sister's house and pick you up. She can have you shipped off to military school. She can do just about anything she wants with you. You have practically no leverage.

I lived with a controlling father who was married to a harpy that I couldn't stand (at the time), and I wanted to run off in the worst way. But I didn't. I realized that I would never make it on my own, so I stuck around, kept my mouth shut, and milked the old man for as much room and board as he would give me. When I graduated from high school, I got the heck outta Dodge, got a job, worked my way through school, and wound up with a successful career.

Years later, me and my old man reconciled, and now he's one of my best friends. I even warmed up to his wife some, now that they've been married for like 17 years.

Look at it this way. You have less than 2 years to go before you're of legal age. That's not so long, is it? You've got the rest of your life ahead of you. Plus, it gives you time to PLAN for when you're out on your own. Get a job, and save up money for a car, a place to live, an education, etc. for when you do cut loose. Just hang in there, all right? And don't do anything stupid.

Answer 2

First, if you really want to leave home and I can see why you do, contact your sister to see if you can stay a while with her, or some other older friends that can take care of you. But... be careful because your mom can send the police after you. If I were you, tell your mom how you feel and if she doesn't decide to do anything about it, then you're free to choose what you want.
Under the circumstances, I would talk to your sister and ask her for advice, or your gf.
But before everything, talk to your mom. You're sixteen, and your mom is in a touchy stage, where she wants to control you to keep you clean, and stay in touch with the alcoholic.

Good luck

Kristine

Answer 3

if you do decide to run away... I would make sure you aren't mad... go when you aren't mad at your mom... and leave a note saying your going away for a while and you might keep intouch... by e-mail or something (if you mail a letter she can find out where you are from stamp) but if I were you I'd visit my sister... ask her if you can visit for a while... but you are only 16..what about school... you only have a few more years until you can just go.. but 220 bucks isn'tmuch... you can' buy food, or pay for very much with that.. you may be able to get the bus ticket but that's about it.. you wont last to long on 220... I vote stick it out... but if you really really really must go somwheere go see your sister...

can you last until the summer....and would your sister let you live with her? I've heard of that happening before... you need to ask her...and see about going to school over there.. please dont drop out.. you'll wish you hadn't later.. I had many friends t hat wanted to kick themselves for dropping out...

Answer 4

Ok, here's thing to do. Call either your sister or your friend first. Don't just jump into this. Make sure you get your ducks in a row. Set up a plan, you're under age so you're going to need someplace to stay who can legally take you since you're not 18 yet =(. Let them know your situation and that you can't go back once you leave. If one will allow you to live with them and find a job and all of that, that would make more sense. My first choice is to call your sister. It might be easier for her to take you in since she's family whereas the gf may not, you know? Just THINK before you leap.

Answer 5

Have patience, and plan carefully,are you sure your sister will take you? I understand your situation, but believe me where you are now is heaven compare to out in the street..it won't kill you to follow your mom's rules and controlling behavior so don't be against it.Bide your time until you are 18,if you are still going to school focus on learning,to get a better job,see to it that you are stable on a job,so you can get an apartment or room to stay,but never run away.. Good Luck & God bless You.

Answer 6

unless your mother/father dont care enough to call the police and have you brought back home, than running away will just be a waste of time. you might as well call it a vacation until they finally find you which shouldnt be hard because you're planning on staying with people they already know. im sure you know that being a minor means you have no legal rights to leave your mother's custody until 18, unless you can prove abuse and/or negligence to child protective services. the problem with that is you still wont be free because you'll then belong to the state and be placed in foster care until age 18. if you only have a problem with her rules and control then the best thing you can do is wait it out, get a job, save enough money for your own place and a car so that when you turn 18 you'll be ready to move out and take care of yourself. between going to school and having a job that should keep you out of the house enough to avoid dealing with her more. plus, she cant stop you from going to work and school because it's illegal. so find a job you like that offers long hours or get more than one so that most of your free time will be used making money to save for your 18th birthday. and even on days when you dont have to work you can lie and tell her you do, then spend the day doing whatever you want...unless she's the type to check up on you too. you can also get involved in things like community service, sports, extracurricular activities, etc. to occupy more of your time and keep you out of the house for reasons she cant dissapprove of with a good reason. basically, running away is not worth it and its just a TEMPORARY fix, especially if you only have 2 years left. i know it sucks but thats life and im sure there are millions of other people who would love to have your problems rather than deal with their own life issues such as not even having a mother at all, being abused, neglected, poor with no home, family, food, or clean clothes, being sick with an untreatable illness and/or stuck living in a hospital with no chance at a normal, long, healthy life, in a wheelchair and cant run away, let alone even walk, from anywhere ever, in jail, etc. so it could be a lot worse, but in the meantime put all that energy and frustration into planning for your future when you become an adult and leave for good because its ONLY TEMPORARY. good luck!

Answer 7

Never run away.......it solves no problems you must face your fears in life. Contact your 28 year old sister and explain to her what is going on then if she gives you the okay to come then explain that to your mom and go live with your sister. I think going by your gf would not be good at all so just call your sister and take it from there. Good Luck!

Answer 8

First of all, if it is that bad, I would suggest maybe staying with your sister. But I would have a long talk with your mom about it first. You are still very young, so rules are going to be a big part of your life and you have no choice but to listen. But if you can't stand it anymore and need a break, talk with your mom and your sister, and see if you can come to an agreement about maybe visiting with your sister for a while. Hope this helps.. :)

Answer 9

I'm sorry for what's happening to you, really. I think you maybe should speak first with your grandfather or your sister and see if they are OK with your plan. Explain to them your reasons, and maybe you can establish a time period, or trial time for it. If it's so important to you make them understand. I they don't agree, don't ruin your like for it. in a couple of years you'll be out of your house. Built something you can rely on for that. What happened the first time you run away? It's a tough situation, and I know how you must feel. I went through a similar situation growing up. Hope it turns out right.

Answer 10

Can you trust your sister? If so, call her and see what she advises. Good luck. Tough situation but not impossible!

When I was 17 I quit school, moved out and got a job. If I could go back I wouldve stayed in school and got the job, I still wouldve moved out. It was pretty bad. Then off to college or trade school. Plan your successful life out and do it. Dont let anything stand in the way of your success.