Do I Have An Issue I Need to Address in Therapy?

Question

I ask because I seem to be worried all the time when someone doesn't like me. Right now I'm worrying about this lady who lives in my building, who seems to have an attitude with me because I asked her husband (my neighbor) to install an A/C in my apt when we had a heat wave last year. I offered to pay him & he agreed. When I go to leave a note in his door (which only said I'd pay him for installing my A/C & to ring my bell when he returns home), a young lady is coming out the apt & stops & asks can she help me. She said, "I'm his wife" & she had an attitude. She wasn't friendly. She read the note, I told her what it was for, she seems mad, took the note & said she'll tell him. This is a guy who offered to help me with anything in my apt if I ever need help, that's why I ask him. Ever since then this lady seems to have an attitude at me & always looks mad. I'm wondering if I need to address something within ME since I seem to be bothered so much when people dislike me for NO REASON.

Let me add that I posted this in other forums bcz it's bothering me that much. I've never done anything to this lady or her "husband". He offered to help me & I asked him for help with something. I was going to pay him, no harm intended. This lady acts like I did something wrong to her & I'm really sick of worrying about and having to be one who tries to make PEACE with people who get attitudes over stupid things & when I didn't do anything wrong to them. It really bothers me when people act as if they don't like me because I want to be liked, and I'm always afraid of someone trying to hurt me because they don't like me. Yes I've been hurt by others alot in my life because of "hate" or "jealousy" or just because someone "doesn't like me" for who knows why. I don't want any trouble & I don't want to be disliked but I didn't DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!! Maybe I should ignore her & not let her attitude bother me. Or maybe I should go into therapy to find out WHY I'm BOTHERED so much by this.

Answer 1

Invite them over for dinner so she can get to know you; she probably don't trust you yet.

Answer 2

Calm down, first of all. It's okay that not everyone in the world likes you. Some people are nasty and you wouldn't want them to like you. I don't think this woman dislikes you, because, like you said, she doesn't even know you. But what may have happened is that she is trying to get her husband to do things around the house, and he won't help. But he will help a total stranger like you. I think the problem is between the woman and her husband, not you. But you know what? You could just bite the bullet and confront her. "Excuse me, is there something I've done to offend you. You seem to have a negative attitude toward me and I'm a little hurt by it?" What can she do? Ignore you. Answer you. Explain things. Good luck.

Answer 3

I feel that a lot of ppl would like others to like them, not that it will happen every single time but im sure for the most part they do. I think its a very normal feeling that u have wanting the same thing that most others want as well, some ppl could care less if others like them or not. As for ur neighbour and her husband, that is an issue that she has with her husband and not with u. If he is offering to do "anything u need" in ur apt as u said, well that seems very friendly to me and perhaps his wife/girlfriend is right to be suspicious of him. This doesnt have anything to do with u and i hope u can see that. As for ur constant worrying, is that about everything or just about wanting ppl to like u? I would assume from what u have written that there may have been some abandonment issues in ur life. Now as u age those issues r becoming greater and the need to fill those needs/wants is also getting to be more important to u. Its okay if not everybody likes u, its better to have 3 real real good friends than to have 10 ppl that just like u. Perhaps seeing a doctor if u have constant worry, or if u obsess about things, they may be able to help u. In regards to one of the comments made here, "most nice guys have biotches for partners" or something like that.. please grow up, that is such a stupid comment and just shows ur ignorance.

Answer 4

Look, you never mentioned how you looked or what you were wearing when casually taping a note to this mans door. I know that would make an attitude difference in me. By the way- how could you feel comfortable enough to ask a favor of a male neighbor and not know he has a wife! I have to side with the wife.

Answer 5

It is perfectly normal to want to be liked. I would worry more about you if you didn't care what people thought about you! As long as you are not going out of your way to please people and it is causing you problems - I wouldn't worry too much about it. Apparently, this woman is jealous of you. She feels threatened by her husband spending time helping you. I have to admit it would bother me some also. If you really do want to be on friendly terms with this woman, try taking her some cookies, a cake, etc and ask if you can talk with her. Explain that you are grateful for the help her husband gave you and suggest that they BOTH come to dinner in appreciation for what he did. This should make it clear to her that you are not a threat. If this doesn't work - you will have tried and you can write her off as one of those people who are just not the friendly type. In the future - I would avoid asking her husband fer help to prevent any further animosity.

Answer 6

I been hurt before because someone didn't like me i used to wonder why people dislike me who didn't know me i even tried to change to be the way people said i should be but that made me feel as if i was a fake person to myself so i had to learn to just be myself and not worry about people you will drive your self crazy their are always going to be people who don't like you the lady in your building probably has trust problems with her husband and is uncomfortable with him coming in contact with other women

Answer 7

are you hatred by women? If so, it is because you probably look really good. If not maybe you had some cases of people disliking you that was the average amount but as you are so worried about it you consider as a large amount. you need to turn on the "f*ck off" button in yourself and don't let them drag you down. if you have a clear conscience that you caused any harm at all, then let them be with their own frustrations. they are the problematic ones, not you! stop worrying so much and focus in yourself!

Answer 8

She has a reason and it is neurotic, so do not worry about it . Say to yourself " I don' t deal with her because she is so irrational or " I choose not o to deal with her.
If you run into her do not make eye contact keep your nose up in the air and say to yourself, " I choose not deal with people of that type! "
And if you have lots of money you can go and seek professional help , which will probably conclude that; 'attitudes ', towards , you , were or was one , methods your parents ,used to control you ! And it worked ( then )!
Now you are an adult and you do not need anyone approval except yours.
Do you really need to deal with that person?

Answer 9

It is normal to feel this way when you have done nothing to deserve this woman's attitude. Try not to let it worry you, as you are going to periodically run into people like this time to time. My advice to you is to not ever ask her husband to do anything for you again. She is jealous of him, whether he has given her reason to be or not is not really the problem here. It is her problem that she feels she has with you asking her husband to do something for you, even though he offered and you paid him for. She is insecure: maybe your hot and she feels threatened. Just find another person to help your with your chores. Usually really nice guys are married to biotches anyway. Hugs, and don't let her get to you and do not obsess about it anymore.

Answer 10

You need something maybe a little common sense. I think she has reason to not trust you. and she probably has reason not to trust her husband