Is it really possible to overcome destructive trust issues in a relationship?

Question

Is it really possible to trust somebody when you're naturally inclined to be a cynic? How do you do that? By changing your usual thought process with a more brave and positive way of thinking?

EDIT: There is no cheating, I just sometimes dis-believe what she says about her feelings for me. Which in turn, hurts her.

Answer 1

You got your answer right there...maybe therapy can help also...

Answer 2

Honestly, if you can not trust naturally, you are not going to LEARN. There is no manual for life. I'm a cynic, but one of those dumb blonde ones. I trusted when I shouldn't have, didn't trust when I should have and continue to trust blindly. I trust until someone gives me a reason not to and then I trust them no more, zip, that's it. You can reason and justify all you want, change whatever thought processes you deam fit, but in actuality, your mind and heart will still think and feel the same way you always have. So just trust until you think or feel you shouldn't, what's the worst that will happen. You will be proven wrong for trusting? So what? Does it matter to anyone besides You? Trust has to be earned, or trust is a natural thing. Don't worry so much about trusting and live life, enjoy those people whom you don't have to worry about trusting because you already do.

Answer 3

Im on the other end of the scale, Im the one not being trusted.
Its not fun I have given the girl 3 years to sort herself out.
I think you can only work at it so far but you will not change without hard work, love, and a lot of time.
but sometimes you need a little shock to the system Every one is individual.
I would say take your guy/girl to one side say look im not having a heavy discusion or going to point out individual cases but.
I know I have no reason not to trust you and I really dont think that you would do anything untowards but there is this part of me that feels insecure and Im trying to work on it.
Then give them a Big hug say you care/love them and go make a cup of tea. Dont make a big thing about it that is the worst you can do.
The more you talk and think about it the worse it will get Just talk openly honestly and not accusingly as well as stop yourself thinking about what if they are doing this or that.

It is up to you!

Answer 4

I am the same way, I don't trust anyone. But without trust a relationship is NOTHING. My boyfriend and I are suffering because of my trust issues.

I think it is possible to overcome these issues.... For example just dont think about it. Keep yourself busy... This Saturday my boyfriends going out to the bar with his sister.... and hes a flirty guy by nature (He's a newphie)... but I HAVE to trust him.. so I set up a poker night with some of my friends so that I don't get mad at him for going without me, and I don't think about it all night.

Trust me, it will work out in the long run... but not if you dont try... Its worth a shot... JUST BE POSITIVE

Answer 5

I think I am very much in the same boat. I have been getting better though, and the results are evident and encouraging, which make me want to keep it up. But I have found that learning to trust little things has gotten me through. For instance, just as simple as trusting I am going to talk to her today. Trusting we will kiss next time I see her. Trusting that she will respond to my text or email. Stuff like that. All of a sudden, I have tons of things I entrust to her and voila!

Answer 6

Yes, but it takes a lot of time and a lot of work.

My boyfriend of two years did something horrible to me last year, sorry but i don't want to go into details. i didn't think i could ever trust him again, but he seemed to be so sorry about what happened, and he hade such an effort to make me feel better, and to do exactly what i said and to make me comfortable, i couldn't help but forgive him. He says he doesn't know what happened, that it didn't seem like it was him doing it, and i agreed it didn't feel like him. We've worked through it now, although i have to admit it does bother me sometimes, but when that happens, he does all he can to make me feel better

Answer 7

first of all, see a therapist. it ought to truly help. seems such as you have have been given an physique of recommendations concern that replaced into compelled on you. it would be extra effective in case you tried to be remarkable on your own. as quickly as you're back on your was once "very remarkable" self, get a solid chum. I mean, a real chum. Male or woman. not involved in the way you look. not involved in how plenty funds you have. not involved in doing drugs or "snoozing" around. you prefer somebody to hold you back once you sense like hitting your self, somebody humorous, somebody who'll act as an anchor to get your ft back to the earth. finally, you will prefer a chum who likes you for you. i comprehend that could be a annoying shoe to in good condition, however the coolest thing approximately pals is that, in assessment to family individuals and family individuals individuals, you could %. Like your loved ones, they are going to continuously be there. wish it works out for you.

Answer 8

no, when a person volunteers for their trust to be broken, they allow it to be damaged because they are blind to what their part is in it.
They allow themself to fall into the trap of the finger pointing victim,and refuse to take responsibility to mave on and trust.
However,
children are hurt and they are genuine vicims, and feelings buried alive dont die ,they just fester

Answer 9

If you already know your answer, why asking the question!