been dating my bf for 3 months now.. he's a good man.. hardworking, considerate, generous, calls me evryday to see how am doing, we spend at least 4 days a week doing things together like going to the movies, dinner, shopping etc.... only problem is i haven't been to his house.. when we do make love we go to a nice hotel, but never his house... his excuse is that he has tenants living in his basement and doesn't want them to know his business, then i asked him again yesterday and he said... he doesn't know if this is going to be a longterm relationship, so he isn't comfortable bringing me to his house... but he did say we are moving in the right direction as in starting a business together and travelling together! what do u guys think of this??
2007-03-22 04:00:10 · 18 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
It's weird. He's hiding something.
He lives with his mom, he's married, he's bisexual, he's a slob, he's a serial killer. Don't matter what it is, because .....
You are in a deep relationship and such relationships require intimacy of the self in equal proportion to intimacy of the body. You say you have intimacy of the body, and he's not giving intimacy of himself. DO NOT PROCEED anymore intimately until he catches up - or fesses up. If he cannot be honest and has to hide part of his life from you, now is the time to find out.
Don't dig the hole any deeper, it's only gets harder to get out - and getting out takes longer from a deeper hole.
Good Luck!
2007-03-22 04:04:10 · answer #1 · answered by notasperfectasyou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 months is more then long enough and if he hasn't taken you there yet, it suggests that he has something to hide or just something is wrong. That is really strange that he is reluctant to bring you around his tenants and then said that 'he isn't comfortable bringing you to his house' after 3 months. If he doesn't know where the relationship is going and just says that it appears to be going in a good direction, I would be a little weary about this and either get to the root of his bs or move on because something is just not right. Check out these sites as they have helped me to realize things about a person's patterns that just don't measure up...Take care and good luck :)
(They go along with that book "He's Just Not That Into You"...) If anything they may show you signs about your current relationship and either help you to make him see that he needs to step up if he wants someone as great as you in his life or that it's time to move on. In either case, I hope that everything works out for you and that you find what you deserve...
http://dating.about.com/od/justforthegals/qt/HesNotIntoYou.htm
http://www.usatoday.com/life/books/excerpts/2004-09-08-hes-just_x.htm
http://dating.about.com/od/justforthegals/a/NotIntoYou.htm
http://www.oprah.com/tows/pastshows/200409/tows_past_20040922.jhtml
2007-03-22 11:17:14 · answer #2 · answered by serenity113001 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't consider the factor of having tenants in his basement or just not wanting a long term relationship a big deal because a lot of guy go through this and sometimes they sit down and think about what they are doing before they actually go through it. Anyway you and him just started dating so it might be a while before this relationship can go anywhere or do anything and don't be in a hurry to want to rush it because it might make things worse and you don't want and anymore to deal with then you have to.
2007-03-22 11:12:08 · answer #3 · answered by gordonflames242003 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I really think that he's married or has another girlfriend living with him. I cannot think about another reason. The same thing had happened to a friend of mine and she found it out after 2 years of relationship. If you care about him and your relationship you should understand what is going on as soon as possible. It may hurt after spending a long time with him.
2007-03-22 11:10:00 · answer #4 · answered by ginger 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think something is up with this guy.
Three months isn't that long, but it is long enough to know where he lives and come to his place.
And for him to keep giving you different excuses means his hiding something.
Don't fall for it, tell him the next time you see him, that you want to spend the night with him, at his house, if he gives you another lame excuses leave him, he may have a wife or girlfriend and you're the "other women". Don't fall for it!
Good Luck
~Nay~
2007-03-22 11:07:00 · answer #5 · answered by heaven_forsaken_dark_poet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He doesn't know if this is long-term relationship material yet he can meet you at a hotel for a hook up?
Open your eyes, doll. He's either married or living with mom and dad and embarassed out it.
VERY suspect.
2007-03-22 11:07:25 · answer #6 · answered by Mimi 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You are a toy and he is playing with you.
Nothing wrong with that either. I like toys from time to tme. Many women I know also like to play around from time to time.
If you wnat more then push him some to be more open or get out.
2007-03-22 11:38:59 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I would scope out the home situation.....rent a car, follow him to his house and see what the hell gives......Okay to sleep with, okay to start a business with, okay to travel but you can't go to his house? Hmmmm.....married or a filthy mess he has going on...
2007-03-22 11:05:41 · answer #8 · answered by sunset 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what if he doesn't have a house? maybe he's homeless, and freeloading from some affluent guy friend, or maybe he's living in an orphanage, or maybe his house is mob-owned or a drug lab or whatever... sorry, i can't think straight right now...
2007-03-22 11:55:29 · answer #9 · answered by jesse 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
either he doesnt have a house to take you to or he is married and probably has kids. hes fishy! check him out. follow him one day! lol
2007-03-22 11:13:41 · answer #10 · answered by crystalxuk 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋