I have a newborn, and it seems the only time I have to sleep at night is when my stepson wakes me up. He lives with us 3 days a week, and I don't know what to do to help him sleep in his room (which he has never had a problem with before) especially when I don't know for sure what his sleeping habits are at his mom's. I've been taking him back to his room, but 45 minutes later he's back next to me. Last night I was just too tired, and I let him have my spot and slept with the baby in the living room, which I know just perpetuates the problem. What should I do?
2007-03-22 03:39:59 · 14 answers · asked by luvlandon2006 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
Having a new baby in the house has rattled his security. he needs to know that you will still attend to his needs.
Our method was to allow children to sleep in our room, but not in our bed. They were welcome to bring their pillow, blanket, teddy bear, or whatever, and make themselves a little "nest" on the floor or chair. Just being in the same room was enough for my kids to feel safe and secure. They each went through different phases of coming into our room at night, but they all grew out of it.
2007-03-22 11:21:43 · answer #1 · answered by not yet 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have had the same problem with my two daughters... I'm sure he is feeling a bit insecure with a new baby around. Just as the new baby is a change for you and your husband it is also a big change for your son. Try - as hard as it is- to give him some 1 on 1 time maybe a story before bed. Keep reassuring him that you still love and adore him. I have three kids 6,3, and 2 it seems like when a new sibling was born the older kids were excited but also a bit insecure to "how is she going to have enough time for me too." I think what you have been doing is great - just bring him back to his room and tell him this is his bed and that you will sit with him until he falls asleep (which usually is no longer than 5 minutes in the middle if the night) Believe me I was without sleep for 2 years it is very hard but I've heard that is a very hard habit to break once it's started (letting him in your bed). Remember you need sleep too... so maybe your husband should step in with your son and the baby too - try alternating nights. Super Mom can only be super so long with out sleep. Good luck and I assure you this will pass very soon.
2007-03-22 04:05:33 · answer #2 · answered by Christina B 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've heard of people that solve this by making a pallet next to their bed. If they need to be by you, they can go to the pallet. Eventually, they move the pallet further away from them until they are back in their beds. I was a martyr and just allowed my kids to sleep with me. Now they are teenagers and I still don't get any sleep because I'm up until 1 or 2 to make sure they get home safely and then catch up with all the news...
2007-03-22 03:48:19 · answer #3 · answered by Lisa A 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can not let up on your decision for even one time. One time of letting go is a sign to a child that if they persist, you will give in. If you have to get up 100 times a night to put him back in his own bed, then do it. He will stop eventually but you have to stick to what you tell him. He is probably jealous of the baby and wants attention. Give him all the love and attention he needs while he is there in the day time but stand your ground when it comes to bedtime. Your husband should back you also. It will take work and the situation will tug at your heart but you have to show a child that you mean what you say and do.
2007-03-22 03:45:09 · answer #4 · answered by moonlillies 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Even though he is your stepson he is feeling the insecurity of having a new baby in the house. I would talk, or get your husband to talk to his mom and find out the sleeping arrangements at her house, so that you can work together. I am sure after he adjusts and sees that he is still loved too then he will go back to himself.
2007-03-22 03:43:14 · answer #5 · answered by tryin4freedom 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He is insecure because of the new baby. Maybe make a little pallet on the floor for him in your bedroom so he does not have to wake you up. Explain to him that you love him just as much as the baby but the baby makes you tired and you need sleep. Tell him he is welcome to come join everyone by sleeping on the pallet or get a chair for him to sleep in. He just wants to be comforted and to feel a part of the family.
2007-03-22 03:51:38 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Have some patience if at all possible. It might require an inconvenience of your sleeping, but this will be love on your part if you can somehow manage to make this small sacrifice. This is normal for a child and he needs the love of some sort of parent.
Already, some clueless liberal, probably all of 20 years old with a thumbs down. This board is filled with them and it doesn't surprise me. Probably some sort student at a Socialist university - a "psych" major.
2007-03-22 03:43:15 · answer #7 · answered by Joe C 5 · 0⤊ 3⤋
Be consistent with your choice of behaviors . . .
If you haven't asked the tyke what's up yet? Do so. . .
And then tell him that you want him to sleep in his own bed, all night, and that you will help him do that - even if it means closing your room door to him.
Good luck - step kids are a real challenge.
2007-03-22 03:45:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, stop sleeping with your kids PERIOD. You will be sorry for not teaching boundries. The little boy has not learned, so give him a little lecture and send him to his own bed. If he's afraid, give him a night light but DON'T GIVE IN.
2007-03-22 03:44:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Wehre is his father? I'd get him to pick the little boy up and put him back in his bed.
Please don't lsiten to that nonsense about boundaries. He's just a little boy who is feeling insecure -and from the sound of it, he has reason to, if he's sharing homes. But you need your sleep.
2007-03-22 03:54:59 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋