I ran into some financial hardships and i'm awaiting a nice sum of money within 3 weeks.My stepdaughter i dont really know except shes been a real money hounder in past always asking a few mo's ago i sent her 200 and told her instead paying me back send to family in mexico so when i started having issues she came out and said she recently sold her truck and wants to laon me money,help me so she sent 500.I accepted and thanked her told her shed get it right back,she said no problem.The very next day she called saying when i pay her back can i loan her extra money like 1000 that she can pay back in payments over few months,and also her fathers brother wants to barrow 1000 he can pay back in a month.And my husband plays my concience/guilt says i should help because when i needed it for food his daughter helped me and i should also trust his brother i dont know and lives in mexico.What would you think about this and what would you do?
2007-03-22 03:23:06 · 9 answers · asked by wh1te_diamond06 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Pay her back what you owe her and leave it at that. It is hard to say to family. But sometimes you have to. Invest what is left of the "nice sum of money". Let it work for you so the chances of future financial hardships are minimized. Good luck.
2007-03-22 03:31:12 · answer #1 · answered by I_hope_I_know 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Does your husband know that you were helping out his daughter b4 she lent you the 500? If you are awaiting the nice sum of money make sure you put some away for your husband and yourself and look after your own finances first. Then maybe help out his brother and daughter. Just because they ask for that amount doesn't mean you have to give them that much. Just tell them that you could only afford to lend them half of what they want. If that. (unless his daughter is using that money for education, then I would forward it to the college or school she goes to so it is not in her hands at all) Your husband should be worried about your needs as a couple and not his brother's or daughter's. A certain friend of mine married a woman from Mexico, and they barely can make ends meet here and every chance she gets she is sending all of her money to Mexico to her family, they are on the verge of bankruptcy, if you ask me priorities are all wrong. Look after yourselves first and then maybe the family in Mexico.
2007-03-22 10:38:18 · answer #2 · answered by kashallgonna 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It feels like something's wrong here, doesn't it?
I think it was extremely nice of your step daughter to loan you the $500, but her request to escalate these back and forth loans seems suspect to me. $200 is one thing, $500 is another, but $1,000 is a whole different ball game. And then to have your brother-in-law ask for another $1,000 sounds like there's some conspiracy going on here.
For one thing, how could she afford to loan you $500 if she needs $1,000 over the next several months? I'm guessing that your brother-in-law or your husband is behind all these requests of you. Does either one have a gambling or drug problem?
It does sound like your step daughter is a trustworthy person in general, but my sense is that someone else put her up to this. I would push her to explain her thought process on this 2nd loan and then ask her if she know's why her uncle is also asking for the same deal. If her answers seem questionable or vague I'd then ask her directly if the money is for someone else.
What you do about it is of course up to you. Maybe you have thousands of dollars to loan out, but remember that any loan is a risk. That's why banks and credit card companies can charge so much for interest. They can afford to absorb the loss if you don't pay them back, but they're going to charge you for taking that risk. And they won't loan out money to people they don't trust.
So do you trust your ex's family? Have they always been trustworthy before? Would they really pay you back over time? With interest? Why isn't your husband the one helping out his family? Why would he be trying to make you feel guilty even though you were very generous to your step daughter to begin with? What's in it for him? These are the questions I would be asking myself, and I would be making my decisions based on my answers. If you ask me though, there's something fishy going on, and you think so too or else you wouldn't be here asking this question.
Good luck with all this.
2007-03-22 11:10:21 · answer #3 · answered by Chris C 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is the one who should make sure you have money to eat; if his daughter had to step in, she was helping him.
Pay her back her money of $500 when you can. However, do not lend her $1,000 or lend $1,000 to the person you don't know. Get your husband to lend them the money, since he is the one who thinks they are good for it.
If he doesn't have any money, he should go out and work extra or sell his cigar box collection (or whatever) so that he can put his money where his mouth is.
The reason I say this is that it is an imposition to presume on somebody--to borrow in advance and to borrow on behalf of someone else. That she was able to help you one time should be seen as a privilege to her, since you were helpful to her in the past.
2007-03-22 10:31:30 · answer #4 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, by giving you the 500 that was a ploy to manipulate you into giving the 2000. out of guilt, i seriously doubt you would ever see that money again. besides loaning her 1000 why in the world would you loan 1000 to her father's brother? no, this is a scam, you'd be nuts to trust them.
2007-03-22 10:35:14 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just as there are people who live off kiting checks...there are
those that live off borrowed money from friends and relatives.
This shounds like a financial merry-go-round that will keep you all in the poor house of never getting ahead.
If I were you I'd even up with her as soon as possible and not
get into anymore borrowing......eventually things like this cause some misunderstanding and hard feelings.....
2007-03-22 11:10:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
only do what you can do. if you can't afford to loan out an extra $2000 then you can't and they'll need to deal. you're not obligated to loan them more because they've loaned you money. all you're obligated to do is pay them back
2007-03-22 10:28:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should of never told anyone you were getting a lump sum of money, i'd tell them i had bills to pay and you cant afford it. Tell your hubby to dish out "his money" if he wants them to have it.
2007-03-22 10:39:57 · answer #8 · answered by Lace 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
only time will solve your problem
2007-03-22 10:28:48 · answer #9 · answered by ayal p 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋