My sister is in a bridal party for my brother's upcoming wedding. The other bridesmaids, all from the bride's side, have excluded her from things from the beginning. Planning things and not telling her, ordering food and favors without her input, etc. All they wanted from her was her money for her share of the expenses. At the wedding shower they were talking about her (several of us heard them). My sister felt extremely annoyed and uncomfortable while at the shower and decided to sit at our family's table instead of helping the bride with the opening of the gifts. Now the bride is upset with my sister and doesn't even want her to be in the wedding. Was my sister right given how the other bridesmaids have been treating her?
2007-03-22 03:04:38 · 24 answers · asked by Kimmy 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
What, the bride needed help opening her gifts? Sorry, but this bride sounds a little bridezilla-ish, and there's another "b" word I can think of for those bridesmaids. Your sister was not wrong.
2007-03-22 07:46:00 · answer #1 · answered by Pink Denial 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Although I understand why your sister was angry ( I would be too) I do think your sister was wrong for sitting at your family's table. As a bridesmaid, it is her duty to help the bride with the opening of gifts. Whether the bridesmaids are being rude or not is irrelevent. She is there for the bride NOT the bridesmaids. It's like if your sister decided that she wouldn't walk down the aisle to represent the bride because the other bridesmaids were cussing her out. The two things don't relate.
Unfortunately, it is not strange that she would be excluded from all of the planning. She is the odd one out being from the groom's side. The other bridesmaids probably all know eachother. Actually, your sister could think of it in another way. Does she really want to be a part of it? Does she really want to give her input on the food and favours? There are a lot of bridesmaids who'd love to just pay and keep out of it. Planning weddings can be a mess and a real hassle. Sounds like these women are mean- so maybe it's actually a good thing that they don't want to include her.
I think your sister should just calmly explain her side to the bride- but try to keep as much drama out of it. The last thing a bride needs is more drama.
2007-03-22 03:29:57 · answer #2 · answered by fuzzyblue 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems like the only one who wanted your sister in the bridal party was your brother. If everyone else was from the bride's side, then maybe it wasn't so smart of your brother to ask her to be in the bridal party. He could have had her stand up for him or something instead. I'm not a wedding expert, so I don't know, but they could have done something different. I'm thinking the bride just agreed to having your sister in the bridal party to appease your brother. I think your sister was okay in sitting with your family during the shower, because she was uncomfortable, but she shouldn't have let it go that far. I think she should have said something to the bride, about the way the bridesmaids were treating her, even before the shower. But then again, the bride may have been in on the whole thing. In that case, she should have talked to her brother about the feelings, and he could then have talked to the bride, and maybe some sort of compromise could have been made. I think it's too late now, the damage has been done, and it might be better for all people if your sister isn't part of the wedding, and just appears as a guest instead.
2007-03-22 03:27:54 · answer #3 · answered by tinaroonie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your sister wasn't wrong at all, but I must say the bride's behaviour is not nicer than the bridesmaids. Yes your sister had to talk to the bride about the "hows" and "whys" of the situation but would she believe her???? You say that the all the bridesmaids are from the bride's side. What if the bride has shared the same bad, rude game with them??? Don't u think that the bride overreacted??? Why didn't she go to your sister and ask her what's going on. If the bride doesn't know the details how on earth does not want her to the wedding???? Also I would say that it is a good idea to inform your brother and take control of the situation, he must support yr sister no matter what.
2007-03-22 03:22:45 · answer #4 · answered by C.C. 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't think that she was wrong to go and sit at the table with your family. They had no right to treat her badly and then expect money from her. Maybe she should go to the bride or even to your brother and let her know that she does not understand why she is being excluded and see what can be done.
Your sister could just ignore them, but that can get difficult especially when they are all together at the rehearsal and then the wedding, but I would talk with the bride and your brother and try and get this resolved. Does the bride know why your sister sat with the family instead of helping with the presents? Does your brother know how your sister is being treated?
2007-03-22 03:13:08 · answer #5 · answered by Important 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She have went straight to the Bride & she should have told her what was happening. I think she had every right to do that. She is not part of anything, she is just a money giver. The Bride has NO right to get mad because her other Bridesmaids are treating one in particular like dirt. And your sister has every right to be mad & stepdown because of how they are handeling the situation. The Bride is about to be sisters to you & her so she needs to step up or your sister just needs to step down & not go or not stand. But I don't think she was wrong, at all.
2007-03-22 03:22:00 · answer #6 · answered by xjalyn 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand completely how your sister feels. This actually happened to me at my sister-in-laws bridal shower. The other bridesmaids made a point to talk to everyone about the great weekend they had at the bachelorette party (which I wasnt able to attend) and handed out photos to everyone who went (like a scrapbook). Afterwards, the BRIDE asked everyone (including guests) to go out for a few drinks but she didnt ask me b/c she "assumed" I would say no. I know how your sister is feeling, she wasnt wrong. She has every right to be upset.
2007-03-22 07:23:16 · answer #7 · answered by KDW25 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can totally understand your sister feeling uncomfortable but yes she was wrong she is not there for the other bridesmaid or any if the other wedding simply the bride so she should have ignored them a little longer and maybe now that the bride to be is upset maybe it would help to explain the situation to her and hope she understands.
2007-03-22 03:15:56 · answer #8 · answered by rebelpoet26 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Absolutly, she was right!!! If the bride is gonna be apart of the family now, then the bride is the one who needs to know not to exclude family. And your sister should talk to the bride about this.
2007-03-22 03:09:14 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, but she needs to set things right with the birde to be. She needs to know how the otheres have been treating your sister.
2007-03-22 10:33:08 · answer #10 · answered by mimegamy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋