How can I propose a "friends with benefits" relationship?

Question

I have a female friend who I find attractive and who is good company but because of several major differences in our goals (i.e. her desire not to get married and have kids) a real relationship doesn't seem like a good idea. How could I propose to her the idea of a "friends with benefits" type relationship where we could have sex, remain friends, and not have to worry about resolving our relationship type differences in the long run? Specifically, how do i ask her if she wants to have casual sex without seemingly like a sleezy guy?

Answer 1

I've had a few of these kinds of relationships, but they need a good foundation to work on. They've happened for me, not because we made a conscious decision like you have, but we both realized we were similar in our sexuality, our views on sex and so on. We were friends and felt free and comfortable to discuss anything and everything with each other.
The sex came after that...usually after a night hanging out watching DVDs and chatting has become a little more...but you must ALWAYS be sure that you are both on the exact same level when it comes to how you feel about each other. And it's good to set ground rules, eg. are you going to be OK with you both sleeping with other people or will it be an exclusive sexual relationship (which is what I recommend) and if someone wants to stop for whatever reason, the other person must respect and understand their wishes.

Answer 2

Either way, thats the way you are going to come off. There is no way around the "sleezy guy" thing. However, friends with benefits is not the answer. See, eventually, one of you will fall even harder for the other, but get very jealous when they see the other with someone else. But because there is no comitment, there will just be ao fight over the boundries of how open is too open. Do you get what i mean? I know that made no sense, but just, if thats really what you want to do, you dont say anything. You just have your sex and leave. Nothing said, nothing wrong.

Answer 3

that is predicated on the erroneous assumption that a female isn't frequently attempting to get right into a chum's pants. There seems to be an theory that a female isn't involved in a male chum sexually, or has an more desirable resilience against infidelity. finding on the area although, a female's male chum is a guy and we come finished circle to the place a guy has a woman chum. in this diagnosis it seems that that the question isn't universally acceptable. edit - I agree Jonmcn49, so 'on usual' there will be a reasonably equivalent volume of jealousy from the two aspects, with separate origins. How does this handle the 'cultural' question of girls human beings thinking it okay to have male pals and not vice-versa (whether or not this could be a real fact)?

Answer 4

Ha ha... I know what you mean but do you think she will be OK with such an arrangement?... As a 'friend' you should know what her feelings are regarding casual sex... Do you believe that she will be OK with only a sexual relationship? Will you guys be able to remain friends through it all and talk about other 'relationships'? I don't know it seems too complicated...... But you should try to kiss her, see how she responds and take it from there! Just make sure that she knows from the beginning that you don't want a serious relationship..... It can get messy so be prepared.

Answer 5

So u want to have ur cake and eat too, huh? Just like a typical man. So my question is, when emotions get tied into the deal, then what will u do? U do know that by going to another level, there's a good 50/50 percent chance there won't be a relationship AND the friendship will be lost. How important is the friendship to u? Think about it. I want to be with someone, we are very good, close friends, but I refuse to have sex with him because his friendship it too important to me. I'm not gonna mess that up just because he turned me on everytime I see him. Or, r u thinking that by having sex with her u might change her views about the future and maybe she'll want what u want? WRONG!!!!! U should never try and change anybody. It's sounds to me like u have some feelings towards in a certain way. Whose to say they won't go deeper? Then when she wants to get into a relationship and that other person just so happens to not be u, then what will u do? FWB is not worth all that. Really, it's not. Emotions will come whether u want them to or not. When u eat ur cake, u might be upset because when u bite into it, u won't like it because u forgot to put in the sugar and the milk.

Answer 6

Well, i can say if you do have sex and it is just sex than you could very well end up not being friends, on the other hand, if you do have sex than you could end up falling for her hard and end up hurt in the long run, or she could fall for you and end up hurt, so i would suggest not suggesting it. There is so many others out there for pleasure if that is what you are into.

Answer 7

I honestly don't think you should pursue this kind of relationship with her. If the two of you are great friends then my advice will be to keep it that way. Great friendships are hard to have especially with the opposite sex so its great to know you have that bond with her....but if you still feel like you want to take it to this phase then you should sit down and be honest with her. Let her know how you feel......
Hopefully, things will work out either way!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 8

Have you considered a straight forward, honest approach? It just might be the ticket to her boudoir. But I think your kind of sleezy if that is all your interest is. Goes to show you think with small head, not large one.

Answer 9

Don't even go there. A friend with benefits is not a booty call! That is not a true friend and a true friend is not what you are. Real friends don't think like this.

Answer 10

thats a bad proposal so there is no easy way