I am considering becoming a foster parent but i am really worried about becoming to attached and then having to give these kids that i have loved and takin care of back to someone who might mistreat them agian. What should I do?
2007-03-22 02:59:35 · 18 answers · asked by Jenn 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I commend for wanting to Foster. It takes strong people to do that. How can you not get attached? I would apply and
see how you do through that. Best of luck.
2007-03-22 03:03:58 · answer #1 · answered by Ontario_Mom 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
That is awesome that you want to be a foster parent. There are so many kids that need more people like you. If you don't think you can handle it though don't get into it. You are going to get attached, there is no if ands or buts about it. you will get attached and when the children find a permanent home they will leave and you will hurt. the best thing to do is take lots of pictures and take up scrapbooking. Because then you will always have memories of everyone that comes through your door. Not all kids go back to their parents they get adopted or the foster family adopts them or they stay in the system until they are 18. But either way you will be a big part of these kids lives and an even greater influence as much as they will be to you. The best way to hold on to them even after they are gone is to take lots and lots of pictures. I am going to tell you now, the one's you will be closest to will be the ones harder to deal with in the beginning, so hang in there and just love them.
2007-03-22 03:16:16 · answer #2 · answered by Danielle W 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is a difficult situation, you want to give the children love. I understand fully, my husband and I are foster parents (I am 23) and we currently have a 3 month old baby boy that has been with us since he was 6 days old. The situation is confidential, but it isn't good. We realize that even if birth mom doesn't get him back, there is a good chance we will not get to adopt him...but that doesn't hurt any less. I always ask prospective foster parents one question....why are you wanting to do it? If it is for any reason other than for the children I tell them to wait and think it over a little more.
Fostering is all about the kids...it is easy to hold back because WE don't want to get hurt. But once you become a foster parent you see how much these kids need, and even if you only get to give them the home life & love they need for a short time, at least they got it for that part of their life. I consider each day a foster child is with me a special gift!
2007-03-22 03:49:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Gosh, I would not want someone to be a foster parent who didn't get attached. I think you have to just decide that it is best for those children to go back to their bio families.
But I understand where you are coming from. I was a NICU nurse for lots of years. It was hard for me to let some of 'MY" babies go home to parents I was sure could not give them the care I could. I cared for these little ones for months sometimes and I got attached. But I also know there are 2000+ of 'MY' babies out there that I helped through a tough time in their life.
BTW: Foster children have not always been mistreated. Sometimes the parents have been ill and could not care for them for a while.
2007-03-22 03:12:25 · answer #4 · answered by professorc 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
That is a wonderful idea to be a foster parent. You must have a big heart.
Unless you are a heartless person you will get attached. Its human nature. You care for a person and get them what they need it is only natural to have this attachment.
Dealing with it is the hard part.
Maybe try being a foster parent for a dog or cat first. She how your heart responds when they are adopted. If you have a hard time dealing with a pet, it will be even harder with a child. At least then you would know.
Good luck.
2007-03-22 03:06:42 · answer #5 · answered by 2shay 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Chances are you will get attached - and you should!! These kids need a good, safe place to live - even if it is temporary! I have been considering foster parenting for a long time and that is one of the issues that I have thought about too. However, my thought is, if I can give a child just a glimpse of what life should be, maybe it will stick and they will be able to grow up and break the cycle they are in! If I can do that for one child, then it would be worth it!!
2007-03-22 03:42:49 · answer #6 · answered by Kailey 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You WILL get attached to most of the kids you take in. My half sister was a foster child as a baby and was taken in by a wonderful foster family who got so attached to her that the 90 year-old grandfather wanted to adopt her himself. And when it was time for me to bring her to live with me, the family had a tough time coping because they loved her so much. So not every child will be removed from your home and into an abusive environment, but it takes special people like you to care for them until the right family or family member comes around to take over the love.
2007-03-22 03:13:14 · answer #7 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have also thought about becoming a foster parent. As you already know, reguardless of how long the child is with you, you will gain an attachment..quickly! Remember what you have done for these children in the time they were in your care..you have made an impact in their life and forever changed the child, and they will remember you for that. Just know that giving these children a home and caring for them as if they were you own is a wonderful thing! I say go for it, you will be glad you did when it's all said and done..not only will you better these children, but yourself, as well.
2007-03-22 03:08:47 · answer #8 · answered by Beautiful Disaster 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have been a social worker. If you are thinking of doing this because you want to adopt, or can't have children, then this may not be for you.
It is important to know that many children need a safe, loving home while their family is working out problems. The fact is that the majority of children go back to their family, or with relatives. I know that this is a tough decision to make, but you can really make a difference. Before you make this step you will attend classes and have a home study conducted. The specialist can answer any question or concerns that you have.
2007-03-22 03:07:21 · answer #9 · answered by Sarah F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my husbands aunt has foster children and she's adopted i think 4 of them. so she has a lot of kids running around because she also has her own kids. my husbands mother also did it but she hated it. the kids she got were bad. they stole from her, lied, the little boy peed and pooped on everything all the time. so she doesn't do it anymore. i guess it all depends on how big your heart is as to how much you'll be able to help the kids. personally i never thought my hubbys mom should have done it she just isn't the "motherly" type she was just in it to get paid.
2007-03-22 03:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by island_chick21 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
we need good foster homes. you need to get attached or you won't be a good parent. just know going in that you won't have the child for long. call your local DCF and talk to a social worker to see what is required. I know I'd never be able to foster a child because I'd have a hard time giving them to the next person.
2007-03-22 03:14:08 · answer #11 · answered by wendy_da_goodlil_witch 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋