What do you think of this poem?

Question

I can't stop thinking about this girl, being a writer I thought I'd put it in written form. We've become close friends really fast, but she's with someone, and so am I...so it can't happen.

Tell me what you think of the poem! Thanks

The Treadmill

Closer to me than my girl,
Telling me your secrets,
But I can't tell you mine,
A mirror of what I see,
She tells me she loves me,
And I'll say it back,
I never mean it when I say it,
Unless I am saying it to you,
You won't understand,
What you think you know.

Thoughts organized,
Things that need to be said,
Feelings you need to know,
Confusion leaves me in doubt,
When you pick up the phone,
I don't know what to say.
You may think it's make believe,
I think there's no need to make believe.

Someone else loves you,
We can never be together,
Too many loves lost for one gained,
Torture myself thinking of you,
Even when I am with her.
We shouldn't be friends anymore,
Back and forth,
Thinking of you,
The feelings I have,
Will never change.

Answer 1

I think it sucks.

Answer 2

The man usually makes the first move. Even if she’s interested in you, the most she’s likely to do is to stand near you or make eye contact a couple times to encourage you to approach her. Read here https://tr.im/cIots

Once you see her, don’t hesitate. 10 minutes from now she might not be there or another guy might have beaten you to the punch. Plus, women can tell when you’re working up the courage to approach. Shyness might be endearing in movies and romance novels, but it doesn’t work in the real world. Approach right away, even if you don’t know what you’re going to say

Answer 3

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Answer 4

Poem is ok as a rythming story. but not a poem. and as for the girl you're with, don't give her up for this girl you think you love. fake love blinds those who haven't lost anything that was really there.

Answer 5

This is just kind of a strem of consciousness. It's very honest, but it's not interesting. Try a poem in meter, or at least a set rhyme scheme. It will force you to be more creative in your word choice.

Answer 6

it sucks! thats my honest opinion, but the feelings involved are genuine. Why dont you talk to the gurl and tell her your feelings, oh and about poetry try writing poems with rhyming words at the end.

Answer 7

Cool

Answer 8

man i like that and if that is the way that you feel you should sit down with her and tell her but i would like to talk to you a little more so if you could contact me at [e-mail] or join my group at [e-mail]

Answer 9

wow i was looking or other problems and i found a poem =]
but uhh, i dunno. My fantasy of finding true love came out but yet im filled with fear wether to hide or not. This is breath taking. but i have a question for you, have you ever feel like you dont belong?

Answer 10

oooooooooooooh so sweet *tears in eyes*
although i wouldnt say the line "We shouldn't be friends anymore" unless thats what u really want.
im sure she´ll love it
good luck