Should me and my boyfriend have a baby.?

Question

Me and my boyfriend have been together for 3 years and we are talking about having a baby. we are both 21 years old and we have been living together for almost a year. We have tons of expierence with raising our siblings.Expecially since his sister was a premature baby and my mom has 6 kids. We also want our baby to grow up with it's cousins that were just born. We are not going to tell our family that we are thinking about having one till we actually decide.

We are engaged and we both think we are financially ready

Answer 1

What is with today's society? First get married...Being married is not the same as "Living together" what happens when you have the baby and find out your not good partners or even worse he leaves you because you don't have that sacred piece of paper saying Till death do us part marriage certificate....whats holding you back from getting married? If it's commitment then neither of you are really ready.I've been married to the same man for 29yrs, through thick and thin, we have 3 grown children. People who I've been friends with had babies and not married...guess what, the guy always ran to another women eventually after his live in had a baby.

Answer 2

First, I really don't think you should be asking ANYBODY that question. +D It's a matter between the two of you.

Second, everyone talking about marriage is just silly. Just 'cause someone gets married, nowadays, it doesn't mean they'll stay together or be happy or provide a stable home.

Third, the only question you should be asking is if YOU want to have a baby. It's absolutely great if the guy wants to participate and be a father but, fortunately or not, whether society approves or not, in the end, it's the woman who decides on the matter of children. She carries the child into this world. After that, all bets are off!

For me, having my 2 children at age 21 and 24 was the best decision ever! I developed a chronic condition after that that would've made it impossible to have any (which is why I mentioned all bets are off!) and had a long enough work history to be able to apply to Soc. Sec. Disability Insurance and raise them reasonably well. I was married when I had the 1st one but Dad cheated on me and I found out I was pregnant w/ the 2nd one the day I left him. So marriage before the baby is not a prerequisite. Being a responsible person (Will you be able to keep yourself and your child clothed, fed AND sheltered?) and having a child you REALLY want is all that's necessary.

I'm now in my 40's and have enjoyed my children in spite of my illness and they enjoyed having me young enough to be interested in their cartoons, take them to the seaside when I was well, laugh at their antics, sympathize w/ their sorrows and generally enjoy their lives.

I'm now about to be a grandma and my son is 22. He's really looking forward to doing what I did: being a great parent!

P.S. I read one comment about doing stuff when you're young. Guess what? I've done more w/ and w/out kids than most people who've never had children: Gone to Europe, Central America and all over the U.S. Also, I never enjoyed the club scene when I was young as when older. My illness has gone into remission several times and the last time, my kids were old enough (15 and 18) to be left alone and I went to all sorts of clubs to dance my heart out! Never would've had as much fun when I was 22!

Answer 3

What is it with all these sinister neo-con Bush-lovers ordering you to get married? They don't burn single mothers at the stake any more, or maybe they do in SOME parts of America. If you feel you're ready for a child, go ahead and have one, don't ask permission. A few lines on a bit of paper don't make a cents-worth of difference to a relationship, in fact I've known several couples who've lived together for years, got married and then split up. Go for it and have a great life with your kids, whether or not you have a pretty piece of paper.

Answer 4

No one can tell you that you aren't or are ready for a child. You should first understand that a child of your own is not like a sibling, you can't just keep it until you are tired of it, then give it back to mom. I for one, am no one to judge or anything, but you should know that children are a permanent thing. You need to decide if you want children right now. They can be blessings, but you should be for sure you can handle it. I know a LOT of people think marriage before you have a child, but what happens if you get married and decide to get divorced. Think of the turmoil that child will go through. You should know that, is one of the hardest thing a child can go through ( it happened to me when I was 9.) So, I wish you well.

Answer 5

definite, it might. in actuality, it is mandatory that he has a vehicle seat for the child. in my opinion, i do no longer think of all and sundry who would not even get something as mandatory as a vehicle seat for his infant is in superb condition to have unsupervised/in one day visitation, yet this is yet another tale. bypass to Toys R Us/babies R Us and ask a revenues rep for help. tell her or him the child's age, and he/she could be waiting that may assist you come across an appropriate one. that's no longer a purely a astonishing concern for the dad, that's a astonishing and in charge concern for the child. i'm sorry, even with the undeniable fact that it must be stated - i think so unhappy for the child that a woman who has by no ability even met him is taking the time to be stricken approximately his protection while the very own father would not. What if the child have been given ill in the midst of the evening and had to bypass to the ER? What if another little minor emergency got here up, and the dad became no longer able to top transport him? it is unlawful for a touch one to journey in a vehicle without a ideal vehicle seat. If Dad tries to, PLEASE make an nameless call to DSS; the child's existence relies upon on it.

Answer 6

whats the rush? why not get married first? you say your already engaged.
helping your parents out with your siblings is NOT the same as taking care of your own child.
having a baby just so that it will have cousins close in age, is not a good enough reason.
if you have to ask if you and your boyfriend should have a baby, then sounds like you are not mature or responsible enough to have one.

Answer 7

I hate to sound like a traditionalist, but I think there's a good reason to think about this in terms of marriage. I don't mean you "shouldn't have a baby out of wedlock" but in terms of your relationship, if you two aren't ready to commit to each other, then can you really be ready to commit to your child (not individually, but together).

I would suggest this - finish college and get onto a career track. If you still want a baby at that point, it's the perfect time, as it won't interfere with getting your lives off the ground.

Answer 8

Why not get married first and enjoy each others' company? Why not travel together and have fun as a young couple? Go over seas and see the world. These are things that you can't pick up and do with a baby. Are you financially stable? Do you own a home or are renting? Trust me, a baby changes everything!

Answer 9

Why rush you are young with all the time in the world to decide these things. Why not get married first? or travel around and see the world, experience other new things meet new people. My husbands sister had a child young cause she had experience raising her siblings and felt it was the right thing for her a the time, although she loves her child she will agree that she has missed out on having experiences she should have in her twenties.

Answer 10

i dont know about having a baby just because everyone else is so they have someone to grow up with, but i do know one thing u are NEVER financially ready for a baby.