Step-parents and step-children, how do you make it work, is it possible?

Question

Do you see favortism, once you have a child with that person

Answer 1

I was a child of a step- parent relationship. I have 3 brothers, two of which are form my step father. After my older brother and I were around 12/13 (we are 13 months apart) he adopted us. We look at him as our Dad. He has always been there for us and in fact I think we get along better with him than the other two do. My mom is a whole other story, which I will not get into. I never noticed that type of favortism growing up, but there is alway going to be some sibling rivalry. Even now that we are all grown and have families of our own we still have a few of those "you are the favorite", type of conversations. But none of us have ever felt as though that one little factor was a big deal.

Answer 2

The Brady Bunch was a little idealistic, but yes, step parents and children should be able to work out any problems. The most important thing that should be done is the parent and step parent should sit down with all the children step or otherwise and set the ground rules as in any family. The parents should listen to the concerns of the children and the children the parents this includes step what ever...

Step Children should never use the phrase, "Your not my ____ I don't have to do what you say!" As long as you are living under the same roof step children should obey their step parent as much as they obey their parent. The exception to this is in the case of physical or mental abuse. If this occurs the child should talk to the true parent about the problem.

Step siblings can even be a bigger problem unless there is much communication without argument.

Answer 3

Wow, this is like the story of my life! When I was a young girl about 7, my mom married my step dad! We had 4 children and one on the way... my dad had 6 of his own... so, my parents were starting out with a family of 10 kids together, and then when the baby was born, my dad adopted him and gave him his last name legally! Then later on they had their own together so we had 12... and a yours, mine and ours family! We were all very close in ages, and there were 8 boys, 4 girls! It was a good family, but not without problems and fighting! Yes, I also believe that there were some favorites, and the baby boy of theirs could do no wrong! He was so spoiled! We had many years of this "cheaper by the dozen" life... as hard as it was, it was so good too! My mom and dad were married for 36 long years... we all survived!
I was married for 20 good years and had 6 children of my own... then my husband died and a year later I remarried a good man with 2 girls... he had a son too, but his son had passed away two years before his wife died... So, we ended up with 8 children to raise... but at least half of them were already old enough to leave home, go to college,... get married! We still have my two youngest at home.... and it's been nearly 8 years now! It has not been easy by any means, we have had our trials and battles with the step children crisis'
from both sides! I have only had to deal with the 2 step daughters hating me, but really just hating the fact that I was here and their mom wasn't... It was a sad story... my kids were also missing their dad... and still are! We all have to deal with many grief issues, but it is good that we can help each other through this time in our lives... There will be no "ours" child.... we are just happy to be having babies called grandchildren! That is the way to go for us! :0)

Answer 4

I think there is a level of favoritism with regards to this situation, a family with step children and then a sibling of both mother and father comes along. It's like you have a niece for 5years and have the greatest love for this child but you get pregnant and automatically you don't treat the child the same again. You may not realise but the child sure does. I could be wrong but I do think in most cases this situation exists, few familes may be able to avoid this and equally divide their love. just my opinion.

Answer 5

My step-mom and I never really liked each other, but I try to be nice so that my younger sister and brother won't be mean. They have a little boy that's a month older than my daughter. EVERYTHING wraps around that little boy. "The original kids" no longer existed. Now that we've all moved up north (he's in Georgia) he suddenly wants us around.

If the kids aren't meant to feel like outsiders and the two of them didn't get together too early after the parents separated things should go somewhat smoothly.

Answer 6

My husband is step dad to my oldest son, who I had with my ex husband. It has been very hard blending families, but it can work if you all work together. There has to be a lot of patience, a lot of getting to know each other, adapting to a new environment, understanding that sometimes the kids or the step parent will feel stressed - give it lots of time and lots of patience. Work towards joining them, do not push the relationship, let it grow gradually.

Answer 7

Well it is hard and I think you have to really work at making the family unit work. My husband and I have 2 boys from his previous marriage, and we have one together. We just got custody of my stepsons, and it has been bumpy to say the least. But they are great kids and I love them but not in the same way that i love my son. That bond isn't there and I have to deal with there mom, and cleaning up her screw ups so to speak. Sometimes that can be straining but I want us to be a family and so I work really hard at it. The hard work does pay off, and I can see a difference in my boys. So yes you can make it work, you just have to be patient, and open to building a relationship with them. But it doesn't happen over night it will take time. Good Luck.

Answer 8

Compared to other stepfamilies I seem to have it easy. I came into the kids like when they were 2,3, and 8. The two younger ones look at me as their mom and the oldest one comes to me when he needs things but otherwise just stays out of trouble....It's been three years and everyone more or less happy although I haven't had my own kids yet. Someday but I already have 3 great kids...good luck

Answer 9

i married a wonderful man last year, the fact that i had seen how good of a father he was to his daughter is one reason i decided to date him (we worked together). i always joke that his daughter got him me. and that i picked out a good dad for my son. maybe its because our kids are 7 & 8 and are different sexes there is no favorite. im happy to get a little girl and he is happy to get a little boy. the kids are like best friends. DO NOT let my boy think someone is messing with his sister. we let them become friends before family. it has worked great. we want 1 more to spoil. we have a great family.

Answer 10

My fiance has looked after my 4year old since he was 2, he shows no favouritism with my other 2, that are his, and my 4 year old calls him daddy as his biological father takes nothing to do with him. It might be because he was so young when he started looking after him but theres never been a problem.