My boyfriend tried to commit sucide about 2 months ago, he cut his wrists, he now wants to get a tattoo to cover it, i am worried that this will not solve the issue. He hasnt addressed the reasons why he cut himself in the first place, how can i help him sort his head out?
He wont talk to me about it, I really dont know what to say to him, he happy and back to his normal self but i don know if he is ok, i need some advice please.
2007-03-22 02:29:47 · 23 answers · asked by Harriet in Fife 4 in Health ➔ Mental Health
we live together he is 28 and cant really speak to his parents as they live abroad.
He isnt interested in going to the doctor has said he just needs me to help him but i dont know how!!!
2007-03-22 02:37:29 · update #1
I think the best thing to do would be to seek therapy for both you and him. Both as separate individual therapy and a group therapy with the two of you together. This might bring the most benefit IMO. Hope this helps. Best of luck,
Andy...
2007-03-22 04:01:42 · answer #1 · answered by Andy 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Look, if his family was so great he might not have done this in the first place. Not that they are bad people but he certainly didn't feel like discussing his feelings with them.
If you go to his family or friends he will feel BETRAYED. You do NOT go behind your partner's back and make them feel like everyone is against them. If his family was initiating an intervention it would be different.
So you advise him to get counseling, push him on it because this is a deal breaker in a relationship. If he refuses you need to find the strength to walk. There's nothing else you can do. So you'd be in a relationship with a man who isn't in a healthy state of mind.
Most people who attempt to kill themselves will try again. Statistics say this. Be supportive and love him by all means, but don't get so sucked into this relationship that you can't walk away and needlessly put yourself through drama and trauma.
We take people as we find them. You can't change anyone.
2007-03-22 02:53:50 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He really needs to seek treatment because he is a danger to himself, do you know if when he was in the hospital any talked with him. Most likely after 2 months he's seen someone however those ugly scars will always be a reminder of what he tried to do.
Let him know it is a blessing it didn't happen tha way, and be supportive I really am unsure though if him being suicidal is fair to you and you need to look in yourself and see if not caring enough for himself could eventually effect you? What is your self value and how does he view his?
I am concerned for you honey, but in general be supportive and let him talk to you when he's ready he does have a problem
2007-03-22 02:36:19 · answer #3 · answered by Diva 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi - of course you dont have the answers, this is because (in the nicest possible way) it is HIS problem, not yours. However, you obviously love him / care for him and this will mean a lot to him. If he wont get professional help then to be honest, theres not a lot to do. Its not like youre his Mum and can force him to go! I dont think covering the scars will help as I personally think he needs them to remind him of how far hes come. Ultimately, be with him and there for him when he needs you but dont let HIS problems become YOUR problems. Take care xx
2007-03-22 03:14:40 · answer #4 · answered by Secret Squirrel 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetie,please find him help somewhere...clergy, councillers, best friends because believe me i've been there,my boyfriend kept trying and the 10th try he actually did it over 20 years ago and the only thing i can promise is he will try again.At the time I wasn't there I had to move out because i had a small daughter and i could not risk the chance of her seeing something bad....btw, it happened months after we broke up and from all i've heard he was happy with his new girlfriend but people who do it once will find a way someday to do it again.Please insist on councelling or clergy.I don't know if this is of any help to you but i wish you the best of luck.
2007-03-22 03:01:40 · answer #5 · answered by Dodgegirl62 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I have had a boyfriend which tried to commit suicide whilst i was with him! It is very difficult, to understand why he did it and why he wont talk about it. But i have been there also (the position your boyfriend is in) and i sometimes dont wish to talk about why i ever tried to die. In my opinion he is probably just asking for a few more hugs and help with daily things! I know this is what i was wanting, but i wasnt able to ask for the things i wanted! I have a very difficult life at the moment, but depression is making it difficult to sort out. As much as i want to talk about it, i just cant!
Just try giving him more affection! He may at one point be able to ask you for what he wants and he help he needs! Dont push him to see a doctor or anyone, it wont help him or your relationship with him!!
Just cos he doesnt talk to you it doesnt mean he doesnt love you. He probably loves you more than he can explain and which could be the reason he cant talk to you about it!
2007-03-22 02:43:39 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Hi, sorry to hear about your boyfriend. I am no expert, but I agree with you, he needs to talk it over with someone. if he finds it difficult to speak to you about it, maybe he should consider a close friend or better still seek some professional help. His G.P will have all the contact details. Hope all goes well for both of you.
Tony J
2007-03-22 02:42:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
men don,t talk easily but use open questions as they do in counselling to get him to talk, dont, be judgemental and give him time and get a good counselling book on listneing skills cos its something we all need to do as its a hurting world out ther all the best say nice things to him about himself he sounds like he gets down and is a sensitive person but who knows what he has been through in life that is why we should never judge others
2007-03-22 03:13:22 · answer #8 · answered by denny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't do anything for him. He needs therapy. No, a tattoo is not going to get rid of the depression. It will always be there until he gets it resolved through therapy. He is not happy or back to his normal self. You know that. Honestly, I would tell him that he needs to get help for this. If he refuses, then you have to leave. I am serious. He will do this again. And you already think you are the one who needs to make him better and you cannot do that. Staying with him like this is just enabling him to continue being ill.
2007-03-22 02:36:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
OK first of all you really need to have an intervention trust me it has to better than what could happen in the future if you don't invite some family and friend and convince him he needs to get help.. don't do this by yourself. My dad committed suicide and i really hope that you will not have to go through the heart break that Ive had to endure. Your BF needs help, he needs to know that from you and others. I wish you the best of luck if you need any more information or help you can email me
god bless
☺ Alli
2007-03-22 02:38:44 · answer #10 · answered by allisay2008 2 · 0⤊ 2⤋