He told his best friend about a sex act we committed two nights ago. I took control and banished his best friend and threatened a breakup but how do you restore the relationship ?
2007-03-22 02:07:40 · 9 answers · asked by Kendra H 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
The sex act took me by surprise and begins with an s.
2007-03-22 02:16:27 · update #1
Did you think he actually wasn't going to tell anyone about something he found exciting and great?, and who better for him to talk to than his best friend. If you are so embarassed or ashamed of what ever the two of you did that you would never want another soul to know, why would you do it? You say you "took control", lesson one you need to learn, you cannot "control" any other persons actions. All you are going to do is build resentment and damage your relationship. Why would you ban his best friend, when it was your fiancee that actually upset you? It seems to me that you need to relax a little and stop being so uptight. Talk to your fiancee (really it was no big deal!), apologize to his best friend and forget about it. I'm sure you confide many things in your best friend, stop freaking out.
It seems to me that you aren't quite mature enough yet to even be having sex yet, let alone be engaged if you can't handle a little bedroom talk. It starts with an "s", wow, you can't even put the words in writing. Stop being such a prude!
2007-03-22 02:17:56 · answer #1 · answered by kandekizzez 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
Whoa! I'm not sure I could ever pick up these pieces. Banishing the buddy didn't solve the real issue; that just removed an obvious reminder. The real question is why would your finance even think of sharing these intimate details with anyone? What two people do privately can be very beautiful, but when described graphically to a third party, it loses its luster. You will have to decide for yourself if you can forgive this grotesque error in good judgement. I guess its common knowledge that men like to preen and boast about their sexual prowness in the locker room, but this is different. I'd have to ask why he felt he could dare to share something so private, and I'd tell him how wounded and offended it made me....to the point that our relationship had serious questions now for me.
2007-03-22 09:19:51 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
That happened to me once. It took me a long time to trust him again. Our sex life suffered because of it too. Some things should remain behind closed doors and sex acts are one of those things. I know I was very hurt by it. I found out because his friend kept looking at me and getting this really big grin on his face, so I asked him why he kept doing that.
I had to remind myself how much I loved him and that he didn't mean to hurt me. I told him how much it hurt me and I could tell he felt really bad, but I was a lot more reserved in bed for a very long time and if he ever complained I would throw it in his face that it was his big mouth that caused our problems. Maybe not the most mature thing, but I was hurt. Eventually I got over. Because not only was I punishing him, I was punishing me. I wasn't letting myself enjoy something that is supposed to be very enjoyable. I had to rationalize that OK his friend knows something about me that only my fiance should know, but in the grand scheme of things I didn't want to lose my finace over it. It was a bit of a hurdle to get over, becasue it did spill into other parts of our relationship. I was afraid to confide in him for fear he would tell other people and I told him that too. It did take some time to rebuild that. I know I can trust him now because he realizes how important trust is.
On some level, I think being a man, he really didn't understand telling his friends about what we did in bed was that bad. Now he knows and he doesn't discuss it.
We have been happily married for 8 years now with 2 kids.
2007-03-22 09:21:43 · answer #3 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Ok so he talked to his friend.....so what....5 mins of embarrassment and that's it. Besides he's obviuosly proud of your relationship or he woulnd't mention it - or if the sex act went badly may be he was after advice? Calm down, get your knickers untwisted and stop taking yourself so seriously.
Apologise for your overreaction and get off your moral high horse.
Jeez Louise....how old are you? should you be committing sex-acts? if you can't handle them in conversation?
2007-03-22 09:14:27 · answer #4 · answered by stepfordswiss 3 · 2⤊ 2⤋
they are men they dont understand sometimes. then again he could of just been bragging... ;-)
guys have that habit but dont deny chicks tend to do it too. heck my dude tried to do that to me a few time but he would purposely try and embarress me infront of either my or his friends then would expect me to be nice as soon as they left us alone. i would also be angry but just look at it from a male perspective hes proud of his woman and what she can do so therefore he takes the opportunity to brag
2007-03-22 09:29:22 · answer #5 · answered by Crazy_German 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Just tell him not to blab your personal sex lives to his friend. You and him can't change the past, so its time to get over it....
I've heard my b/f's best friend blab about his sexual experiences when they were drinking. My b/f was smart enough not to comment especially since I was in listening range. I'd prefer him not to comment about us.
2007-03-22 09:16:30 · answer #6 · answered by hello 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Wow. Does the word "overreaction" mean anything to you?
2007-03-22 09:11:06 · answer #7 · answered by JB 6 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You seem too sensitive to me. He was just bragging to the fellas...what is wrong with that?
2007-03-22 09:12:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
dont pay attention to JB up there, that woulda made me mad too! He sounds pretty inmature to me, i'd drop him!
2007-03-22 09:13:43 · answer #9 · answered by Lace 3 · 0⤊ 3⤋