i live in a broken home with my grandmother who has custody of me.My mother who was on drugs wants me backHELP

Question

My mother was on drugs but is now off and wants me and my sister back.my grandmother who has custody of me and my mother have been arguing.my mother is 9months one week pregnant. I'm under so much stress I'm feeling like killing myself if i don't get out quick I'm going to end up hurting myself. Im planning on running away but have no clue were to go or when to or anything about it. Im so confused and need help. Please i need advise, HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Answer 1

My heart goes out to you! I could give you better advice if I knew how old you were, but I think you amazing strength and seem to be very mature and responsible....sadly, growing up in a situation like you have will make one grow up too quickly! All too often I see kids who blame themselves for what their parents do and bad decisions that they make....please known.....the poor decisions your mother made were HER decisions...not yours! You're lucky that you have a grandmother who loves you enough to take care of you...and she clearly loves your mother too for taking on the responsiblity of taking care of her children while she gets help...she may not show it or even realize it....it's tough love. I will say as a mom, though, that if I were in that situation that the one driving force that would get me through rehab would be wanting my children back with me....and I can only imagine that if she truely is "clean" that it must really hurt to not be able to get her children back. But she needs to also understand that she will have to prove to you, your grandmother, the courts and society, as well as herself that she has permanently changed! This will take time and cannot happen over night! You seem to be a good judge of character....agree to spend some time with her if you feel comfortable...ease back into a relationship with her and you will be able to tell by her actions and reactions to you if she has really changed! Good people make very poor decisions in life sometimes....and people that have a history of making bad decisions can change. Sit down with her and your grandmother and have a "calm" open conversation.. I would also recommend family counseling...if you are not already seeking counseling whether it be from a school counselor or pastor, or liscensed professional, I would do so immediately....and you can have them go with you...it may be good to have an outside source "mediate" a conversation between you and them! Tell them exactly how you feel! I wish you the best of luck......you've shown great courage and I'm proud of you for that....there are too many people that will miss you for you to kill yourself....especially over something that you are a victim to! Please talk to someone! If you're in school, start with your counselor....go to a church...any church...and speak to a pastor...your faith or lack there of doesn't matter!. If you feel uncomfortable doing that then open a phone book and look in the beginning pages for a list of hotline numbers. Perhaps in the meantime you have a friend who's family will allow you to stay with them temporarily while you are seeking some help!

Answer 2

Explain to your grandmother what you are feeling and then have the same talk with your mother. You have no need to run away you simply have to make sure that the adults around you have all the information they need to act in your best interest. Talk to a councilor at school and explain the situation. You deserve to be well treated and your councilor will have resources to hand to help you. Running away will just add to the problem it is vital that you receive an education don't put yourself in the position of having to give that up. Sounds like you're having a real rough time but remember bad times don't last forever any more than a party does. Take a deep breath and start working toward solutions.

Answer 3

You don't say how old you are, but anyway, many times the court will take into consideration the child's opinion after they reach a certain age. Also an option is to get a psychological evaluation to present as evidence at the custody hearing... basically proof that your mother having custody would be psychologically damaging. You might try talking to your counselor at school as well. Whatever you do, please do not run away. As bad off as you feel right now, when you are on the streets with no one to care for you and love you, you will look fondly back at the time you had people fighting to keep you with them.

Answer 4

first and foremost - call a kids helpline!! They can help you sort out alot of your emotions. I bet you feel a bit like a cyclone on the inside!!

The court should listen to your opinion of who you want to live with as well.
Ask someone (grandmother/teacher) if you can speak to a counsellor if you think that would help. The counsellor isn't allowed to tell anyone what you talk to them about so don't worry about them telling your mother or anyone else.

Answer 5

Depending on your age, the court will listen to what you want and who you want to live with.

You don't have to feel hopeless. Get into some couciling IMMEDIATELY. Talk to someone that you can trust, a teacher, a school councelor, your case worker...

stay in school and you can make something of yourself. you don't have to repeat your parents mistakes.