We went out for a year and broke up in October. We are still really good friends but she wants us to get back together and has wanted this since November but I'm not interested even though she's really lovely. She keeps asking me to come stay over at hers, whilst I want us to hang out in public during the day, to avoid temptation. She really wants me to stay over and promises nothing will happen. My mum and my sisters don't think I should as they think she wants me back so much she might try anything even getting pregnant. I don't think she will but even my best friends think it's a bad idea. What does everyone else think? I don't think she'll try anything but I'm not really an expert on women.
2007-03-22 01:16:23 · 32 answers · asked by Keplaz 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I'm 22 and I know hanging out with an ex gives false hope. I havent spent time or seen her in 5 months. She's still one of my closest friends and I only speak to her on the phone. I don't want to hurt her and I do care about her but I dont love her in that way anymore. I told her we should stop talking for a while but she wants us to stay friends and I still like talking to her. It's a bit confusing!
2007-03-22 01:28:03 · update #1
don't stay that's just asking for trouble... if she really wants you back she would understand that you don't feel comfortable staying there for the night. Just hanging out and having fun is the best way to take things slow.. don't rush back into a relationship when your not sure how things are going to be. If shes the one then she could wait and in time you may come around in wanting her back. but not now.. take things slow and don't rush and her getting pregnant is not a good way to be wanting you back... but as a girl its a thought that comes every now and then. good luck no one can make this decision but yourself but you have to realize that if you do then there might be consequences.
2007-03-22 01:24:12 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen to your mum & sisters, after all they are woman too! If she is desperate enough to get you back then she may try anything. The fact that you have asked for advice proves that you are considering her offer, she is getting to you! Think of the consequences if you go & stay you will probably end up having sex. You will give her false hope of getting back together & this is not fair if you do not want to get back together, then you are really just using her for a sure thing(sex). Think about why the relationship ended, if you think maybe you could give it another go, then go for it(but be wary). But if you are really not sure, avoid her. Stop habging out with her as much & put distance between you, she will eventually get bored waiting for you to come back.
2007-03-22 01:24:19 · answer #2 · answered by Tiga 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your family and friends are right.
You broke up for a reason. That reason is still a good reason, otherwise you would be back together.
I recommend that you find a few of your other friends who are women to spend visible time with, not to lead them on, but to send the message to the ex that you have moved on.
You ALSO need to QUIT hanging out in public with her during the day. This woman cannot "be really good friends" with you without "wanting to get back together". You ARE leading her to believe that you have more interest in her than you do.
2007-03-22 01:18:51 · answer #3 · answered by Thomas K 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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For women in particular, texting can end up being a fun “game” where they can do or say anything (even things they would never do in the “real” world). Texting is non confrontational. Odds are your relationship ended on a heated note. I don’t know why you and your ex broke up, but there was probably at least one (if not a few dozen) big fights. Done properly (the way I’m going to teach you), texting is simple and subtle. You can slowly feed your ex tested and proven messages and ideas without the risk of either one of you flying off the handle, falling back into old and destructive patterns, and throwing plates at each other.
2016-02-13 05:07:11 · answer #4 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hanging out with an ex just leads her on. Spending the night is fraught with possibilities for misunderstandings. All the things that you have been warned about are possible. Yet the thing that bothers me is that you are so unfeeling with regard to this girl that you are unaware that just hanging around with her builds hope which is dashed each time you reject her. How sad that you're being so unkind. If a guy is finished with a girl the kindest thing he can do is leave her alone. You're both far too immature to be sophisticated enough to hang out and pretend it doesn't hurt. I am an adult and believe me the last person I want to hang out with is my ex.
2007-03-22 01:21:28 · answer #5 · answered by QueenBean 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You broke up for a reason. Whatever that reason is will still exist if you should ever get back together again and in all probability cause you to break up again. Staying over at her place will start you off down that road again and it will hurt as much this time as it did the last.
2007-03-22 01:20:53 · answer #6 · answered by Stephen K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think of you being so mean to her led to her to instruct to this. have faith it or not yet that's the place the inspiration of this all is. not the different guy. YOU. Your anger. You being mean. She might have even felt defeated via what you probably did to her and performed some video games to sense alive back. i might inform you it sounds broken previous restoration. yet you prefer to persist with your heart. not your head. So i'm going that can assist you to out. We purely necessary to perceive the project first. You drove her to the place she's at. very properly. She needs you to flow on? Do it. you do not relatively might desire to. purely pretend such as you have. attempt it for a week or so. it would deliver her suitable back. if it does not. pretend you have a female chum. undergo in recommendations. she would be waiting to return back yet you will possibly desire to alter so which you do not push her away this time.
2016-10-19 08:10:37 · answer #7 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to ask yourself why, if you don't want to get back with this girl, you're spending so much time with her. She is surely getting a very clear message that you are still interested - of course she wants you to stay over - she thinks that's the next logical step. You're either not sure of how your actions appear or your playing with her. Its this simple . . .if you don't want to get back together - stop hanging out- stop ringing - stop everything. Make a clear and firm statement or stop fooling around and get back together.
2007-03-22 03:22:15 · answer #8 · answered by Amanda C 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
.hi you need to decide what you want coz if its not her you want you must move on and stay away and let her get on with her life. She will find someone else and be happy. If you keep seeing her you will only hurt her more in the long run. At the moment you already know that you are giving her false hope.
2007-03-22 02:04:14 · answer #9 · answered by petal 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
definatly dont, unless your planning on getting back together. If your planning on getting back together just talk to her, and take her out. If she seems to be avoiding going places in public with you then she is prolly trying to get pregnant or what not. It doesnt take long for a girl to tease a guy into having sex!
2007-03-22 01:19:22 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋