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My boyfriend and I have been having alot of problems lately. We have both done horrible thing just to hurt each other out of revenge. I have never cheated on him and I'm not sure if he has cheated on me. We both put that thought into each others heads. We have zero trust for each other, although we both love each other dearly. I suggested to him that we stop living in the past and put everything behind us. I know it will be impossible to forget everything we have done to each other, but i do think it is possible to try and move forward from where we are now. Do you think it is possible? I love him with all of my heart and would lose part of myself if I ever lost him. I started by trying to delete all of the past wrongdoings out of the computer so they aren't there to remind us of what we've done. How do I make him beleve that I've never cheated? I mean I wouldn't have came clean and told him if I did. That would be stupid. But he doesnt seem to understand. I just want my relationship

2007-03-22 00:50:24 · 13 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships Singles & Dating

13 answers

Sounds like your relationship is basically over. Both of you need to get counseling (separately) to try to deal with the fact the revenge is never a good thing. Never tell a man everything. They will use it against you in one way or another.

2007-03-22 00:54:09 · answer #1 · answered by Jen 4 · 0 1

i had a similar situation with mine. started fighting non stop and accusations were made and we would end up hurting eachother more in the end. though i love him dearly and still to this day dearly.. we came to an agreement that we rushed the relationship too far too fast and hardly knew anything about eachother.. so we called it off but still saw eachother.. weird i know but love does weird things to a person..

honeslty sounds like you need time to sort everything out and clear your heads seperation is hard but sometimes it is the only way. mine and i have been separated now for a few months but it has seized the tension between us and we dont fight anymore coz we are now getting to know eachother better on a 'friends' basis. dont get me wrong i will go back to him in a heartbeat but that will just happen when the time is right.
besides sometimes it makes them think about what they losing if you have a separation coz mine cant stand the fact that i can now freely go talk to different guys.. flirt a little.. but nothing serious.. and it makes him now keep in contact and always 'check up' on things

2007-03-22 01:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by Crazy_German 2 · 0 0

If you want a relationship, then go find one. This one is done. I think your ideas of love are a bit misconstrued. You tried to delete all the past wrong-doings off the computer!? What is that supposed to mean? Sounds to me like you two were cheating with others...via internet chat.... You have trust issues...without trust, you have nothing. move on.

2007-03-22 00:56:35 · answer #3 · answered by in2one 5 · 0 0

this sound like a bad relationship doomed from the start. u both have no trust nor respect for each other. deleing ur past may help but thats if u both can comit and not be so childish with each other. if ur doing things to hurt one another this relationship will never work. imagine in the long run if u have kids.... it could get ugly

2007-03-22 00:54:32 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

humm this is such a sticky thing the big T word...love is not jealous it's pure maybe you should go see your minister trust is an absolute to make a reelationship work...my friend and her husband werehaving a horrible time with it...like you are and she did seek spiritual guidance and it has took her relationship to a whole new level...if you both care enough to do that i think you will see a big improvement...make a serious dedication not marriage of course but do something to make him know that you want him and noone else and maybe that will start a ball bouncing

2007-03-22 00:57:00 · answer #5 · answered by sonialynnl 3 · 0 0

Its Ok, it just the first time for you OR for him to be in Love. so that wil make you very confused about everything, the thing is that you love him very much and he also love you very much, this will make you both fight all the time. the best thing to do is to put some rules, but rules has to be very obvious and written, and if any of u break any of the rules means your relationship is not gonna work, but hopfully rules will solve ur problems,

2007-03-22 01:01:18 · answer #6 · answered by i2cwith 1 · 0 0

If you truly love each other you can work this out.. it will take compromise. and much better communication....time together. if you cheated and you dont tell him...big mistake.

would you want him to lie to you if he has cheated. if you did and you do not tell him .....then you have been lying to him all along....that is just not how to have a solid relationship.

i know very well this situation...you have to decide ...both of you have to decide if being together is worth swallowing some of your pride ...admitting your mistakes....rebuilding together.....it will take both of you....good luck....

if you love him, really love him....make the effort...and dont lie to him.. he will be angry at first .....what you need to discuss is why you felt the need to cheat....something wasnt there and you thought you would find it ......

2007-03-22 01:00:51 · answer #7 · answered by HopeURLuvinLife2 2 · 0 0

its a mind game you both are playing..its very childish but i like you..because you are mature enough to want to forget the past..that is good...now you have to get him thinking like you..he have to want the same as you else your relationship will stay on the rocks.. so please speak to him and tell him your deep truthful feelings and listen to his response..if he agrees with you and kisses you, he really loves you and want also the relationship to work..if he shows you that he needs more time to think and he is still confused, that means he dont care about the relationship and he dont know how to tell you in your face,he just wishes u would know by looking at his actions....best wishes

2007-03-22 01:01:46 · answer #8 · answered by girly 4 · 0 0

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2016-11-27 21:49:40 · answer #9 · answered by ? 4 · 0 0

sounds like a horrible relationship to be in..

if the bad times out weight the good times.. sometimes its not really worth saving..

perhaps your better off without each other

2007-03-22 00:56:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

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