Am i doing the right thing?

Question

Ive had a fight with my husband like 1 month ago.His family stopped talking to me.Well not talking like they use to.My family is not here so they cant really stop talking to his family.I refuse to start talking to him and his mum especially.I have a son and work so i just go to work do what im doing look after my son wheni get home and basically just get on with things.I told my husband im looking for a place so until i get out i will stick to my guns . i will gnore themas he was in the wrong but still taking his side.

Answer 1

Not enough details, but leaving over a fight...doesn't sound good. The thing about marriage is that it is about trust and forgiveness. It is for better and for worse, not until I get mad, or you do something that totally ticks me off and "I'm outa here". I don't know the severity of his infraction, however, you have a child. Children deserve to have both parents raise them when at all possible and children blame themselves for breakups even when told repeatedly that their perception is incorret.

Can you get beyond this? Can you see his humanity in whatever took place? Maybe he needs help. Maybe you need help. Maybe you both contributed to this at some level.

I would sure like to see you try to forgive and him recommit himself in whatever this area is and move together as a family.

2nd marriage tend to fail more than 1st and 3rd more than 2nd. Some women leave every single man, because the men are so imperfect. Try working it out. You can always choose later that it will not work, but try while you still can.

Answer 2

OK, I dont know the reason why you 2 stopped talking / what the argument was about but frankly, you cant have listened to or meant your wedding vows. A marriage isnt something you throw the towel into after 1 little row. Bite the bullet and sit down and talk to each other. Screw his family, your family, us lot on here - its about you and your husband. It makes me sick that people think a marriage is just 1 day with a big party, a fancy dress and nice food. You have to work at it

Answer 3

Why should you look for another place to live - is it not both of yours to live. If not - then yes' you are doing what I would do. Some guys never leave their mothers apron strings and the inlaws sometimes do not know when to 'butt-out'. If they have taken it upon themselves to interfere, then they have to accept your right to respond and do as you are about to do.
It must be an awkward situation when you return home with this atmosphere especially for your son, however, what else can you do. If you apologise and give in you will become a walking mat for his future disagreements. You must however, make it plain to him that you dont have respect for him telling his mother etc., your personal business. That was between you and him and not all and sundry. If they do appear give them the cold shoulder, they could make it difficult for you, but I WOULD ride the storm and get my own place, if that is how your situation is. If not - tell him its over as above and ask him to move out. Cut your losses either way, keep your chin up and best foot forward for the sake of your son and yourself .Good LUCK

Answer 4

You are doing the right thing, if the arguement was bad enough for you to be looking for somewhere else, then stick to your guns, most of the time a partners family and friends will take their side, regardless of the facts. You need to do what you think is best for you and your son, that's the important thing. Don't let his family get to you, hopefully once they see you are serious about this, then may well question your husband's motives. Hope this helps somewhat !!

Best of Luck

Answer 5

You sound very childish, even going so far as to saying your family can't stop talking to his family because they aren't here as some kind of retaliation.
It's odd how you can say nasty things to him about you leaving but then say you aren't talking to him and his mum.Seems to me you'd like them all dancing to your tune and you aren't getting your own way.
Life isn't tit for tat and It's all got out of hand and you refuse to back down - it's time to get your son out of this dreadful atmosphere, grow up and stand on your own 2 feet for once.
You have a son and I bet you always take his side - that feeling doesn't stop when they grow up.

Answer 6

I don't know what he has done wrong you did'nt say, but as it's your husband that's in the wrong, why are they sticking up for him ?.I 'm no agony aunt, but his family are being very childish and need to grow up, it's obvious they are on his side. If you can't forgive and forget then get out now.You can do without their stupid childish behaviour. Look after your son and yourself. SOD THE LOT OF EM!

Answer 7

depends on how serious this situation was,if he did something that was inexcusable then your doing the right thing as it will probably only happen again and you cant take the risk when a child is involved,if it wasn't that serious then maybe you could try talking about the situation and try to resolve the matter for your family's sake if nothing else.

Answer 8

Personally, I always believe that telling family about fights does more to fuel the problem. I think they should stay out of the fight all together and your husband should be talking to you and not them.

Answer 9

My advice to you is to try your best to resolve what's gone wrong with your marriage. Failing this, DO NOT LEAVE THE FAMILY HOME! It's your security for the future of your son. Ask him to leave to give you some space while you both consider what to do. Best of luck.

Answer 10

you just do whatever makes you happy and what is best for your son, he probably doesnt want to be in this awkward environment, his family will always take his side as theyre his family. life's to short to be miserable, why not move out have a break from each other and see what happens, you may be able to resolve things? take care x