If you know your Mother was the best she could be , and you are happy with yourself now , and your childhood (because of her) , how do you get her to stop apologising for the past ! ? And I have already told her , she was and still is the best , I wouldn't have dreampt or wished for any other .
2007-03-22 00:30:23 · 5 answers · asked by NotSoPerfect 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Oh , I am 39 yrs old .
2007-03-22 00:32:26 · update #1
As someone old enough to be your mother (hmm, are you MY daughter?) I can tell you that as a parent I know I could have done a better job at raising my children. Thank God they survived in spite of me! Can you rid her of the guilt or feeling that she was inadequate? Probably not. She is needing reassurance; remind her that you didn't come with a book of instructions. You might also tell her that her regrets are making you feel as if there is something wrong with you in her eyes.
2007-03-22 01:05:52 · answer #1 · answered by silver2sea 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unless you plan to get up in her brain and rewire her....you can't. You can make sure you aren't adding to it. But it may just be her comfort zone---some ppl complain, some wish, your mom seems to lament. The question is, since you have already told her, how can you stop reacting to it? It may just be a habit that its the way you two relate. She's getting some sort of payoff---maybe its not even about you. Think about this....you dont know me...what if I started saying all the same things your mom says....what would you do or say to me? Seriously, it would have no impact on you. So let her talk, or let it roll off...but you dont have to invest in it anymore...let it go. You did your part.
One last thought...guilt is the devil's treadmill. It gets people stuck in places they shouldn't be. She may understand that. Remorse and regret both move you to make changes but guilt just spins.
2007-03-22 03:21:44 · answer #2 · answered by Sweetserenity 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
( I know you already said this but) Tell her that she is the best mother you could posibly have dreamed of and that you never did and still don't want to change her. Then tell her you just wish you could repay her for all the good that she had broght to you when you where younger. I'm not telling you to say exactly what I'm saying. Just sit down with her and tell her whats in your heart tell her that its the truth and that it will never change. I hope it works for you.
2007-03-22 01:02:22 · answer #3 · answered by Asheera 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
drop little hints say like if you hadn't done this and this i might not be this and this, talk to her about what she feels guilty about and try to gradually chip away her guilt by saying something great about how she dealt with the situation.
good luck :)
2007-03-22 00:43:55 · answer #4 · answered by zee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her if you had issues with her being your mother, you wouldn't hang around.
2007-03-22 00:34:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋