im beginning to think im very weird.i have met a lovely man who ticks all the boxes,handsome,caring,understanding,etc.,and he thinks im great!! except i dont feel anything,no spark,nothing.people say i shouldnt expect a spark at 46yrs old and i should give him a chance.im very cautious and he says its like theres a barrier around me and i aint letting anyone past that block! how can i learn to relax in the company of a nice man instead of being all tensed up.i was hurt badly and this may be at the root.i cant afford counselling right now.any comments for me on this?id be really grateful. cheers everybody
2007-03-22 00:20:52 · 18 answers · asked by dossin 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Lady!
There is nothing wrong with you except you have mounted that once you were hurt, now in every case you would be hurt.
All men are not alike, you have to differentiate between good and bad.
Self psychotherapy is the strongest cure of this problem. At this stage you flow with the flow of life. Tell your self that you are good, lively, happy etc etc.
If that man says you are great, you must believe him.
Have faith on you.
I also say that you are great at least you are concerned about your self. You will definitely overcome this small problem.
2007-03-22 00:38:46 · answer #1 · answered by Atif Mirza 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should find the man thats right for you. You have the right to expect a spark! Find a man that you are comfortable with- it is possible you just have to look. Theres nothing wrong with you, if anything theres something wrong with the man that he thinks he cant get through the "barrier" thats supposedly around you. If he was a perfect, lovely man then he would be able to do that. If you dont want to leave him then why dont you do something that you love doing with him. Maybe its swimming with dolphins or just lying on the couch watching movies. That way you will be in a comfortable environment and be able to open up :) good luck
2007-03-22 07:32:19 · answer #2 · answered by fayS 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree and disagree.I think you should feel a "spark",no matter what! There is no harm in talking to him.Give him a chance to win you over with charm.If he can't charm his way into your heart then move on.Forty six is not old,so chill! if this dude makes you laugh within a half hour of the first date then that is your man! If he makes you cry then it ain't your man! If he makes you laugh cry and sends a spark down your spine and behind your neck then that is definitely your man.There are only a very few of the great masters left on earth so be on the lookout for perpetrators! Good luck.
2007-03-22 07:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by Student 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Spend quality time with him doing things you like. I think its fair to say you will not be loves young dream but it does not mean that you wont fall in love. It sounds like he really likes you and just because some jerk hurt you in the past it doesn't mean this one will. You may get a spark, you may not, i hope you do and i wish you luck. x
2007-03-22 07:28:43 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it means a man isn't right for u. if he was suitable for u trust me u would feel this spark. but anyway, maybe at the age of 46 u shouldn't have that much expectations anymore. i mean i am 37 and my husband is 50 - see what i mean? they all want younger women. i still can't get why they re such dogs. but i felt this spark right away
2007-03-22 08:03:12 · answer #5 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
JusMe hit it right on.
There should be a spark in a relationship.
If you don't have it, forget it.
Level with the guy and let him go.
Get over your past hurt and move on from that too.
Why drag new people into old drama?
Move on.
2007-03-22 08:05:48 · answer #6 · answered by ? 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are probably afraid of getting hurt (again).
Maybe you should look at him not as a potential partner but just as a friend...get to know him first...
And who knows, maybe later on you will fall in love...
Take it one step at the time and don't hurry into things. If he really likes you that much he'll be patient.
Good luck!
2007-03-22 07:27:55 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is his job to see to it that he breaks that barrrier that he sees.If he does not them your relationship is doomed.You cant be blamed for feeling the way you feel after being hurt.Only when you find a man who will make you think otherwise will you trust then.So its not you but the other person who needs help in making you feel safe,secure and loved.
2007-03-22 07:28:02 · answer #8 · answered by jus-tus 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You could probably use some counseling, and some time to recooperate. Just tell this man that you would like to continue seeing him, if he is willing to be patient. Once you establish a trust, it will be easier for you.
2007-03-22 07:26:54 · answer #9 · answered by PEGGY S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First be a good friend to him. May be after some time u may come to know how is he and u may like to go ahead with the relation.
All the best.
2007-03-22 07:32:31 · answer #10 · answered by sweetie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋