i have always been quite close to my aunt, but she is a bit stuck up and thinks she/her kids are fantastic and everyone else is not, she has often said little nasty things here and there which we let go, but she really let me down on my wedding day by various unnecessary comments, i have told my mum that i longer wish to speak to her, but now am finding that it is probably best to just be polite, i can't speak to her about it cos she is will deny having said things and make out that im at fault, i want her to be nice and want to have a relationship wiht her but cant get over the fact i have been really let down by her. i hope this makes sense, it is quite a long story and i have tried to keep it short and may have left out important things, but the gist of it is there...please advise...
2007-03-21 23:28:15 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
For the time being, let things cool off since you still are very hurt about what she did on your wedding. Be civil to her though, as I imagine you cannot be very friendly to her. Try to make her feel like it isn't the same anymore, while maintaining respect for her. When time has passed and somehow have forgiven her for it, talk to her about it. Call her, or visit her, whatever. She may deny it, but at least you get it out of your chest. Tell her you have been sorely hurt, but have found it in your heart to forgive her (even if she doesn't apologize). Tell her (only if you mean it) that you want to take things back to how they were, or at least be like close family again.
2007-03-22 06:41:33 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Pat M has the right idea....write her a letter telling her how cruel she's been....that way you wont have to interact with her, or better still....just ignore her....she's obviously cant see past her own nose.....i too have an aunt like that....she lives in a posh street and thinks she's the best one there, and looks down her nose at people who may be a little bit less well of than she is, before she married she was as common as muck the only reason she has a posh house is coz her husband has a few bob in his pocket, if she was not with him she's still be in the gutter like she was before...and the filth that comes out of her mouth lets her down big time, so people just laugh at her and call her pathetic, your aunt sounds like she and my aunt should live in a cave together, they would be very happy in each others company...ignore her and don't take the bait
2007-03-22 02:40:49 · answer #2 · answered by Dazzlebox 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would suggest that you write your aunt a long letter telling her exactly what she has done to upset you and how you feel about it. Spare nothing. If you cry and the tears spill on the page so be it.
The next day reread the letter you wrote and decide whether you really want to send it or whether it would be politic to throw it away and just be polite to her.
Even if you dont send it you will find it very therapeutic just to get all your feelings expressed.
2007-03-21 23:50:27 · answer #3 · answered by bri 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel even if it brings everything to a head-The longer you leave it the more it will build up and fester-It might get to the point of no return where things wont get sorted one way or another ,and you dont sound the sort of person who would want that to happen good luck
2007-03-22 03:58:22 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm sure she is unaware about the way you feel , try to approach her , go out for coffee and bring the subject up you might be quite surprised by her reaction, she may well be glad that you've told her how you feel, and glad that its out in the open, I hope it all works out it a shame to loose a good relationship with your Aunt , take a deep breath and let it all out to her good luck
2007-03-21 23:42:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would write her a little letter saying she has really upset you on your weddng day.
She may be oblivious to what she did,but if you dont tell her it will fester in your mind,you need to tell her.
Im the type of person who would have to,but I also dont hold a grudge, if ive said what I think then its over with,it works.
Get it off your chest and move on,you will feel a 100 times better,I swear.
2007-03-21 23:36:38 · answer #6 · answered by Pat R 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are right, it is best just to keep it polite. Keep her at arms length though & don't let her get too close to you again or she will do the same thing to you sooner or later.
There are some people we can trust & there are some people we can't. As she is family, you are going to have to "make nice" with her but just learn from your experience.
2007-03-21 23:41:34 · answer #7 · answered by Cori 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her how you feel. If she tries arguing and blaming you, then tell her that if she won't take responsibility for her actions, that she can't be part of your life. That should make her stop and realize just how mad you are.
Do you want her telling your children that they are stupid compared to her children? Do you want her constantly destroying your happiness through her vicious remarks. What do you think your spouse is going to do the next time she starts acting like that?
2007-03-22 00:59:06 · answer #8 · answered by A dad & a teacher 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
you need to speak to her in a calm way.just tell her what has upset you and ask her does she even realise her behaviour is hurtful, she might not see it that way if no one has ever told her. tell her you dont want it to spoil your relationship but that you feel hurt by her behaviour. that way even if she denies it you just say that regardless of her intentions ,that is how SHE made you feel. you have to get it off your chest,its not good to keep it inside.
2007-03-21 23:40:09 · answer #9 · answered by ginger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just tollerate her for the ake of your family, sounds like she has a jealous streak, she will never change, so be prepared for her outbursts in future.
2007-03-21 23:37:26 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋