30 and never had a girlfriend.?

Question

Hello everyone, just wanted to share my story here and hope someone could give some advice. My names Randy and I'm 30 years old from Kingsport Tennessee, I've never had a gf a day in my life because I was never good looking enough for anyone. It all started in high school every girl I ever made an attempt to ask out shot me down right off the bat saying I was weird and ugly. Back then I had high esteem of myself I thought I was decent looking, was very well known because I was the lead guitarist in a southern rock band and my band called the southern brouthers won the tallent show every year! But not 1 girl in the school liked me at all. Since then girls I've worked with never liked me, I've tryed the online dating thing and girls I've met from there say the same and tell me I'm not at all there type for I'm not 1 bit attractive. 30 years of being told your not good enough has robbed me of self esteem and I don't understand why I can't do it. heres myspace http://home.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user&MyToken=7474f8b9-2614-497f-824a-a892d5ee2603

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendid=170902874

Answer 1

The link did not work but i'm sure you will find someone!...you need to let go of your insecurities..highschool was a long time ago and one of the things that girls love about men is confidence! you need to have self esteem and seem confident and no mattter what you look liike you will still be able to find women who will love you!...hopefully you are a good person inside and that truly is all that matters!

Answer 2

First of all forget the people who laugh at you about the 30 year old virgin thing and say you are gay. Also forget about the this isnt a dating service thing, people sign up here to answer questions and give advice, some of this advice just so happens to be dating advice and I find nothing wrong with that. I also could not get the link to work, but I am sure you arent that bad. High school sucked and almost anyone will tell you that high school was hell for them. Try not to dwell on high school memories or feelings you may have walked away with, I know this is hard thing to do, but try. If you feel good on the inside it does help your outside. I know alot of people think its bad or low to get a make over but it can help. So thats a suggestion try to get a whole new look and new dress style. Women like a man who dresses nice and who does his hair in some style. Its good for a guy to take time to prep himself and no a guy isnt gay if he does this. We live in a very hard age for men, I feel sorry for the ones who get called gay just cause they take care of themselves. Also I am not a big fan of meeting people at bars, alot of my friends do it and most of the time you just get people who want to sleep with you or who are really weird. You should get out there and join clubs and volunteer. You can meet some really nice people by just going out and doing normal daily things. It also sounds like you seem to be attracted to shallow girls, who only care about looks. Maybe you are gonna have to step out of your comfort zone and give an average girl a chance. Not every girl looks like a super model. Personality is very important in a relationship and even if you did get a supermodel when she got older her looks would fade and if she has a crapy personality or no personality you are stuck with nothing then. Sorry for using this as an example but if your sitution is anything like Shallow Hals maybe you need to do what he did I am not saying you have to go out with a really fat chick but maybe you need to meet and date average girls, their are still some very beautiful average girls who have great personalities. I believe it can be a two way street you want a girl but maybe the standards you have a too high and there is no way they can be met. I hope I was some help and good luck I hope you find a nice and pretty girl.

Answer 3

Count your blessing Southern Boy. You are better off not being tied down to a girlfriend. You have lots of living to do and trying to hard to find the right lady. She is out there, so stop extending your self and getting rejected. Life is 99% rejection, but when she comes around the mountain she will come, so hold on to your hat fellow, for she will be the chosen one. Looks mean absolutely nothing. It is what is in your heart that counts. Never lose you manhood over a lady. There are to many southern ladies just for you.

Answer 4

Well I got your myspace to work, here's some of what I'd say to try.

Just talk to them, make sure you only think of them as friends at first, and get to know them well to see if you have some similar interests.

Don't force yourself onto them or act desperate or they'll pretty much back off from you in a snap, if women feel pressured chances are they wont like it at all.

Which brings me to being friends at first, I know a lot of people who started off with just being friends and have had extremely successful relationships, although this doesn't mean all your female friends will date you, so don't rely on this.

Go to places where you think the type of woman you'd be interested in the most might be, as long as it's a reasonable place to look for them, which obviously there's a time and a place to ask out a woman and there's a time and a place not to. DON'T try to pick up on a woman who recently got out of a bad relationship, they usually tend to be clingy and once they feel better can drop whatever or whoever they clung to. (this can go for men too)

I'm 18 and I haven't been in more then 2 or so serious relationships (a year or longer), though if a girl doesn't get my attention within the first couple weeks I usually end it, I'm not the type to "wait and see", a girl has to stand out to me, and people shouldn't settle, or they'll never be completely happy, the same goes for you.. Don't go for the first girl who says yes, I mean go on the date, see how you like her, but don't think you should settle for anything less than what your standards are. DO try different types of girls, you might find a type that surprises you and is completely different than you expected.

Also try slight flirting if you feel comfortable enough with it, this can be a huge advantage when it comes to hitting on someone and can be more effective than anything else for a start. You can also try just simply complementing them, let them know you like something about them, but don't act like you're hitting on them, this can help a lot since it can make them feel more comfortable around you, sometimes they'll even make the first move.

Anyway those are just some things I use, they work well for me, but like I said unless you see a girl that catches your attention there's really no point in waiting around longer than neccessary to see if they change.

The girl I've been with now for a year and 2 months actually was the one to flirt with me first, and honestly so far she's been the best out of them all, so all I'm saying is you never know when or how it will happen, you just have to go with your gut instincts on it.

For anyone who wants the correct myspace, I think this is it http://www.myspace.com/t_topbandit

And just to say, you're not bad looking, although I would suggest changing the hair, that's all I'd try to work on, hair can make or break a look (if you're comfortable enough with it, go to a hair stylist and not a barber, I've been going to one since I was 8 and trust me, they know what they're doing)

Answer 5

I grew up in Kpt. I know how hard it is to meet someone there. Maybe you are looking in the wrong places. Try joining some clubs or a gym or getting involved in a sport of some kind. You will find someone. Stop looking for girls. Find a nice woman, not some 22 year old who is just discovering herself. Just take care of yourself and explore other interests besides women. Meanwhile, take those indians off of your site. If you hadn't told me you were interested in women, I would have looked at that and thought you were gay.

Answer 6

Hey Randy, in life, there things that are not of our own making but the way we handle it matters. how you handle the girls is very important coz as much as you may be unattractive, you will definitely get a girl IF: you develop a liking for a girl, treat her in a special way without necessarily telling her that you like her - women like feeling special and appreciated no matter how the man looks. its about the character, the way you make her feel and how far you are wiiling to go to make the woman feel so special she gets hooked up to you willingly without you forcing her. also, list down the facts about the type of person you are and think of the things that a girl would love about you and maximize on it. ok Randy - you are wonderfully and fearfuly created no matter what people around you think. just enjoy each and every day the way it is whether with or without a girl in your life.

Answer 7

I'm not being funny maybe your gay sorry if girls never fancied you you never had a girlfriend if you can't a girlfriend your gay guys like this spent their whole life pretending too be straight they will realize in the end they are hiding in the closet and they are too scared too come out there must be people like that.

Answer 8

I take it you're the one in the chicken suit?
Well, I give you the benefit of the doubt. maybe the website just didn't take me to your picture. No matter, physical attraction is only one part of relationships. And one thing we women have learned over the years: the more you want a relationship, the farther away it moves. Quit WANTING it, and eventually it will come. That's not to say do nothing, just take classes, attend lectures, do things you enjoy. You will enjoy your life while meeting lots of new friends and maybe the love of your life.

Answer 9

GO to a parlour and make the possible changes like hair style, costumes etc. May be this will help u to look good and smater.

Answer 10

Robbed you of your self esteem? Guy, your self esteem is your responsiblity. Your myspace link doesn't work, but have you ever thought that maybe you are gay or that you need to lower your standards? I know plenty of ugly men who are with even uglier fat women including my own brother. Find yourself a fat ugly beast! If anything, you'll probably get yourself some oral sex. Why? Well fat women are hungry and usually up for some sex because most men wouldn't give them a second look otherwise!