I need to just go talk to her don't I?

Question

Two sides of me are telling me to try because I love her and the other is saying there must be a good reason for my benefit she's gone and let her stay gone. What happened between us was I've liked her since I was 15 and she was 15, when we met, and 4 months into the year 2006 (we were both 16) we talked but after that I did something by mistake, she got mad at me, and I gave her space. When I tried to talk to her she said she didn't want to talk to me anymore. I've tried to move on but I feel like I need her friendship back. Could I have given her too much space (a month and a half), to where she'd think I must not care since I didn't try my hardest to get her back, and that's why she said she doesn't want to talk to me anymore. By the way, when I talked to her online after that about it, she always responded when I said something. Sometimes it seems like she may want to talk to me, and maybe if I just start a casual conversation (instead of saying how I feel) it could work out.

My mistake was; she told me 11 months ago she told me she was falling in love with someone else (she still talks to him but she's never seriously dated him and she's single) assuming I wouldn't say anything and I told a friend assuming he wouldn't say anything because I needed to talk to someone because I fell in love with her. I didn't know not to say anything or I wouldn't have. He said something about it around her and she got mad at me. She ignored me for a week, then when I went to her she talked to me uninterested one day, so I gave her a month and a half space. (stop here, but there are more explanatory details)

I keep getting scared to approach her especially when she's walking and could walk away, or she's with a friend who could interrupt things (I'm very calculating, I see all different kinds of possible outcomes with the slightest conditions). Usually, she doesn't look at me unless I'm talking to another girl. Recently, she started watching me when I'm ALONE and I sneak a look at her through the corner of my eyes without moving my head, appearing to ignore her. Today, she stopped walking when she saw me, watched me, turned around facing me while I was walking, and started to walk towards me for no apparent reason (I was already too far from her). I'm not sure, but I think that at lunch she may be starting to choose the line that I choose until her girlfriend leads her elsewhere. I have to pay closer attention. I think that we're both just playing really stupid games with each other out of fear, and one of us has to go to the other (it most likely would be me).

My mom said when she was younger, there were boys she just didn't want to talk to anymore for no reason, just like the girl I fell in love with and can't seem to let go. She also said this boy told her how he felt about her and she still didn't want to talk to him. So I'm not going to tell this girl how I feel about her because I it won't work. It's just that today I saw her talking, touching and playing with other boys and even though it don't mean nothing except she likes them in a slightly-more-than-friends but-still-not-boyfriend kind of way, it still gets to me because I'm not one of the boys she's flirting with. I can't get her off my mind. I saw her sneak at least 2 looks in my direction though (and it's one of several times I've caught her on separate occasions). I keep asking myself "She never liked you like you liked her, she told you she doesn't want to talk to you anymore, why don't you just forget her? The answer keeps coming back, "Because I miss her and I love her."

Answer 1

Dude sounds to me like you need to just move on. I know it may hurt, but time heals all wounds. You are still young, and although in your heart you may feel she's the one, but she isn't. You have too many things and relationships to experience to continue wasting your time pursuing someone who would rather not be bothered. The best thing you could do right now is to find someone who can appreciate you for who you are and give you the respect you deserve. This is the Caveman signing out. Peace.

Answer 2

Why oh why do you insist on torturing yourself like this?

I can only assume you're still a teenager, am I right?

Both of you need to stop playing those childish & immature mind games and lay your cards on the table.

Both of you!!!

Not just her!

If you truly love her (and I believe a teenager knows what love is when it happens to him/her) & you see some kind a short-term future, at least, with her, then go and talk to her quietly and IN PRIVATE, as far away from the school grounds as possible!

What do you have to lose, besides the love of your life, maybe?

If you are afraid or worried of being insulted, humiliated, offended, belittled or hurt by her, go somewhere private, like I suggested.

Just ask yourself this vital & crucial question: DO YOU LOVE HER & IS SHE WORTH ALL THIS HEARTACHE YOU ARE GOING THROUGH RIGHT NOW?

Once you find out the answer to this question deep inside your heart, you'll know what to do about your present situation, I can promise you at least that much!




Good luck to you & keep me posted, okay buddy?

Take care!

Answer 3

It sounds like you've already made up your mind. You gave her a month, you may as well talk to her, what harm can it do? If she really doesn't like you, she'll tell you. And if she does, you're good to go.

Is she an ex, or something?

Answer 4

I know what ur going through. Its hard to not be able to do things or even talk to the one you love. just stick with it. ask her why she won't talk to you. any questions email me @ [e-mail]

Answer 5

ok... I didn't read everything but yes youshould go talk to her.