Why should homeschoolers have to suffer from social rejection?

Question

They are people. They are educated just as kids going to public school are. The pros are that they do not have to sit in a chair all day, they can work at their own pace, and they are safe from drugs, physical and verbal abuse.

Answer 1

Although I understand what you are saying, I must point out that my children, nor I, suffer from social rejection.
Are we criticized? yes
Are we judged? yes
Are people hostile or angry toward us? yes
Are we made fun of? yes
Do we suffer? no.
It makes us stronger.

My favorite quote (non biblical) is by Walt Whitman:
Have you learned the lessons only of those that admired you and were tender with you and stood aside for you?
Have you not learned great lessons from those that braced themselves against you and disputed passage with you?

Haha, you know you've really lived when you've had to walk that one out.
Don't suffer doll, learn from it and grow stronger.
Then you will be unstoppable.

Answer 2

I really don't know why some people reject homeschoolers socially. I read the answers and some people think this doesn't happen, but it does. I know one girl who had been hanging around with a few other teens (non-homeschooled teens) regularly for a few weeks or so and they were becoming friends. As soon as they found out she was homeschooled, they stopped hanging around with her. ?? It makes no sense and I can't even come up with the most remotely plausible reason for it.

ADDED: I missed this one the first time I read through the answers: "They should also be bought some of the latest styles of clothing," You've GOT to be kidding me!!!! Not bowing down to the latest fashions is a huge plus imho for homeschooling. I do NOT want my 9yo dd dressing like the tarty girls I see around some of the public elementaries here. They're trying to look like teens, who are trying to look all mature and sexy. Thanks, but not thanks.

SECOND ADDITION: It's better to be abused for the first time at 14 rather than at 24???? How is THAT? A 14yo does not have the wisdom, sense of confidence or a multitude of other things that a 24yo likely has. A 24yo is far more psychologically able to handle abuse--provided they HAVEN'T been severely abused before--than a 14yo.

Answer 3

I get what you're saying, but most homeschoolers are not "Socially retarded" as many people think. This only happens if the parents keep them locked up in the house. (Which doesn't happen with most) Of course they will have no social skills.
BUT there are very few homeschoolers like that. We have groups and meets to socialize with others. We have classes we can take, such as art, by certified teachers. Our classrooms, unlike puplic schools, aren't stuffed with 40 kids per teacher. That isn't socializing, anyway.
From personal experience, I think homeschoolers actually have better social skills because they tend to be more polite and respectful. Public schoolers are obsessed with trends, whats cool and what not, they need peers to know how to act. I have public schooled cousins and they tend to be rude, awkward and disrespectful. Especially towards people they don't know. They just don't know how to act. The "school" system doesn't teach them that. They have too much busy work to build character. (I'm speaking about my cousins. I'm not trying to make a generalization because I don't know everybody who goes to public school.)

Answer 4

They shouldn't have to, but it's not a perfect world. It takes additional effort for homeschoolers to fit in with people their age because they're not at schools with hundreds or thousands of other kids on an everyday basis. While homeschoolers have what in many cases is a superior education, they miss a big portion of the socialization aspect of school (both positive and negative).

However, homeschoolers do not need to experience social rejection. Often times they can participate in middle school or high school clubs, groups, sports teams or activities (dances, etc.). That's an excellent way to make friends with their peer group. The earlier a homeschooled student starts to participate in outside activities, the easier it will be to gain acceptance.

If you are a homeschooled student or parent of a homeschooled student, don't be discouraged. While there are certain stereotypes and misconceptions about homeschooling, they can be overcome with increased interactions in the school community.

Answer 5

My kids never felt any social rejection from being homeschooled.
In fact, they had more free time and we were able to go on many 'field trips' as a family. We also joined many community volunteer things including little theater, helping at the library, food drives, clean up campaigns, and clothing drives.
My son was in seascouting for 5 years, he 'socialized' with teens from 14-18 years old. He is now graduating with his Bachelor's degree in computer science. While my daughter just took home schooling for high school, she was also involved in community volunteer work and right now is taking online courses with Cornell and working a great paying job. She lives on her own and has a new car. Nobody asks her where she went to high school as long as you do your job its not a big deal.
Anyone that tells you they are facing 'social rejection' isn't doing homeschooling right. Kids can still join all the regular things like sports, theater, FFA, dance you just use the community center for those activities instead of it all being centered at the school.
My grown kids are much more mature, they never got into drugs or in trouble with the law. I think they have great self esteem, they also can talk to adults easier than most young people do who have hung around their peer group acting like adults are out to 'get them'.

Answer 6

I have been homeschooled since kindergarten and I've never suffered any social rejection. Being homeschooled isn't an excuse for being socially stunted. All you have to do is make an effort to interact with other people. Just getting out of the house for a change of scenery makes a difference. If someone puts you down for being homeschooled and you don't feel able to defend yourself, either leave the conversation or change the subject.

Answer 7

I know what you mean...

When I first meet people, they think I'm great. How smart, how well-adjusted, how literate, a little quiet, her interests are a little off the beaten path, but that's fine. Then I have to drop the H-bomb. All of a sudden people make all sorts of nasty assumptions about me. My natural quietness is some kind of oppression, my intelligence is the result of being forced to sit in a closet all day memorizing the encyclopedia, my social skills are an illusion, my literacy is a joke, and my somewhat weird interests are the result of being sheltered.

It pisses me off to no end, especially since my life is more realistic than school.

All my friends in school have it really cushy, and they won't even admit it. Everyone's always on their case for them to get their work done, and will bend over backwards to make sure it's done. All your teachers make you do your classwork, then your parents make sure you do your homework, and you just spend all your time blowing off the opportunities and hanging around with your friends, complaining about everything and everyone. My education is in my hands. I want to be a physicist, so I have to work towards it. My parents will set me up with whatever I need, get me the books, sign me up for the classes, and so forth, but if I blow it all off, then I'm just screwed.

That's a bigger dose of reality than all these assholes blowing off their responsibilities because the school has to keep them until they turn 16.

Sorry for the rant.

Answer 8

I homeschool my daughters and they have a very active social life also. I believe this is the best thing for my kids because too much crap is going on in the public schools these days and i don't want them to have to deal with it.

Answer 9

I agree that it's nice to work at your own pace, but some of them tend to be behind such as the fact that when you homeschool you are solely responsible for documenting and reporting to the state the requirements met wheras students in public or private school are mandated by law to maintain such records and are usually ahead when the laws change so they already have their system in place records wise to meet the requirements.

I've met people who were homeschooled and many of them have a problem with socializing because when the conversations turn to things they don't relate to they feel left out. It's up to parents to be involved in their child's life and to make their prescence known which does in fact cut down the tendency to gravitate towards negative influences and if parents had effective communication with their kids you will see less drug use/abuse and other elements like kids bullying or verbal abuse.

There are some issues that do need addressing in the public school system and that they need to put more emphasis in increasing time for physical activity since schools went from having PE daily to only a couple times a week and it's a known fact that kids who are physically active and participate in music or some kind of physically based activity do better in school than those who arent exposed to these things. If kids don't expose themselves to rigors of everyday life in a regular school they won't learn how to solve their own problems(sans violence) and will be dependent on others to help them. My mom considered homeschooling, but when she saw what the downside of it was and that is keeping us at home would be considered sheltering and that's not healthy for a child to be like that.

Answer 10

I'm not exactly sure what you mean.

A. Our family has never experienced rejection... lots of questions and curiosity but not rejection. In fact they are usually told by their peers how lucky they are!

B. If you are referring to people who aren't sure about it, grumble, etc than I have found it's usually a lack of education on their part as to what homeschool really means; or a lack of the ability to think for themselves about a subject - often they themselves are a product of the ps, or teachers, or have been indoctrinated about socializaton and haven't taken the time to really consider the matter for themselves.

Answer 11

"People make friends in school and if you are not in school with them you can't make friends with them."

And why should that be? If those public school kids are so well socialized, shouldn't they be eager to meet and make NEW friends, not just hang out with the same 30 people they've been friends with all their lives?? Hmmm...

" The cons to home schooling--in life you rarely get to work at your own pace "

Really? In my "real world" I do indeed work at my own pace - and in fact I don't have a teacher/boss standing at my shoulder or a bell ringing. I had to learn to pace mySELF and not keep looking to a superior/boss to do it FOR me. In fact the strong self-motivation I have has helped me to be very successful.

"and work in the real world often does involve sitting in a chair all day--if you are lucky!"

Maybe you consider sitting all day to be a lucky thing. I work in a laboratory environment and I am up and moving all day and rarely sitting. Perhaps you haven't had a lot of exposure to a wide variety of career choices?

"But physical abuse and verbal abuse happen in the real world every day and it helps to learn how to deal with it when you are 14 rather than to encounter it for the first time in your life when you are 24. "

If you first encounter it at 14 in public school you must be a very late bloomer. In my experience as a teacher it often starts around age 6 or 7. If the kid doesn't have someone teach them how to deal with it other than other kids their age, what kind of coping skills do they learn? Fighting? Being equally mean back? Homeschoolers encounter all types of people all the time, but they happen to have a lot more contact with adults who already have positive social skills, and can model them, as opposed to monkey-see-monkey-do.

"If you are a homeschooled student or parent of a homeschooled student, don't be discouraged. While there are certain stereotypes and misconceptions about homeschooling, they can be overcome with increased interactions in the school community."

LOL - yes, because in your very narrow world, the school community is the "real world". Guess what? It is NOT. Homeschoolers live in the real world right from the beginning and get actual socialization (instead of "fake socialization") right from the beginning.

Look - I raise puppies for the Seeing Eye. One of my main jobs is to "socialize" them. That is NOT defined as going to the same place with the same 30 other dogs every day. It is taking the puppy out to many different places and meeting with a vast array of people and experiences. Just like I do with my homeschooled children. They can and do have sleepovers with their similar age peers, but they also aren't afraid to speak to someone they don't know, speak to adults and much younger children. I think they are well prepared to be successful in the real world they've always lived in.