My fiancee and I have been together almost two years. In this time he has never called me any names, been extremely rude and he thinks I am the sexiest woman alive. However, I went into Diabetic Ketone acidosis and almost died. He would not take off work to take me to the hospital, I was in the hospital for a week and he came up there for 5 mins to bring me pajamas. I almost died and he wasn't there. About 3 months before I got sick he spent more time on his music site then with me. I feel like I can no longer trust him because he wasn't there for me when I needed him most. I have done everything for this man. He has a son full time who I watch everyday. I bend over backwards and still feel empty. I have tried to forgive him, but I do not think I can. I moved over 400 miles away from home for him. I left a job that I loved and I made great money. I love him but feel distant from him. I think I should move home where my family can love me and give me the support I need.
2007-03-21 17:44:59 · 13 answers · asked by kekihigh 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Apparently his priorities are not straight but it doesn't mean he doesn't care about you. Some men feel that their presence doesn't make a difference and they worry they will lose their jobs or something like that.
You are the only one that can judge because you live with him and you can see his behaviour. What you need to do before you make a drastic decision is talk to him and ask him directly how he feels about you being in his life and also tell him how his precense is important in your life since your family is far away.
If you have been living with him for two years and take care of his chid, you know what your life has for you so you need to sit down and meditate and see how you want your life to be and how he is willing to contribute to you.
After this depending on what he tells you, you can make a decision on whether you want to stay with him or not. YOu can put him on probation without telling him...this is just for you to know. In this period you can determine if this is what you want and if not you can move on but you will be sure that you made a right decision.
Also remember that if you decide to stay with him, you must forgive him and move on because is hard to love and live with a man that we recent or feel anger toward.
Take care and hopefully you will make the best thing for your life.
2007-03-21 18:05:20 · answer #1 · answered by tulipanes 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I really feel for you.. I did the same thing - I left a great job o's to come back to my now partner. I think you might be partly resentful towards him because of what you sacrificed. The fact he wasn't there for you is evident, and I don't think you should stick around.. Actions speak much louder than words, and granted he has said all the nice things you want to hear, but when the crunch came, where was he? Have you sat down and told him how you felt? Alot of emotions overcome humans when posed with potential loss.. This may have been his way of coping with your illness. Men seem to be passive about their emotions. Does he always turn to his music when things take a wrong turn in his life?
I would take a break, go to see your family and spend some time away from him with people who will love and nurture you the way you deserve.Sweetie, you need to do whatever is in your heart - no relationship can survive when you can't forgive the person you love. Ask yourself, if this happens again, will he do the same thing? Or better yet, ask him!
I hope it works out for you..
2007-03-22 01:00:16 · answer #2 · answered by axix9 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You've answered your own question...Trust is key in any relationship, once it's been irreparably broken, it's time to move on. I'm really sorry that you learned such a harsh lesson after two years of engagement, but try to be thankful you were not married to him--yet...And, thank God that you're doing better now and that you have the love and support of your family! Make sure you give yourself time to heal before dating again. He sounds as if he has his own issues, and it's not right for him to dump it on you with his uncaring, thoughtless behaviour...especially when you needed him the most. You deserve more than being the sexiest babysitter alive. You go, girl. Take care of yourself!
2007-03-22 01:33:21 · answer #3 · answered by imajenius 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave him, he isn't a man you want to spend your life with. You need someone who will be there for you no matter what, even when the going gets tough...in fact ESPECIALLY when the going gets tough! You said it yourself, you almost died and he wasn't there for you...that is not love. My boyfriend whom I have been with for a little over 4 years was just sick with bronchitis and had a very painful cyst on his butt and I was up all night with him making sure he was ok, taking his tempurature every hour, putting cream on his butt, giving him medicine and taking him to the emergency room at 3:30am, I took time off work to stay home with him...and even when I went to work I called him to make sure he was ok. That, my friend, is love. And in your case, so much worse than bronchitis and a cyst...almost dying? Dump the loser, you deserve WAY better!
2007-03-22 01:00:01 · answer #4 · answered by Isabella's Mommy Expecting #2 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well before it goes on any further tell him how you feel. Instead of telling people on the web who don't know you or can't help you. I mean why can't you just go to him and tell him this. If he doesn't love you anymore pack your things and leave ...no since in stay with someone who doesn't love you. Life is too short and you are taking time away from finding someone who does. Maybe you can go back to the other town and get your old job back.
But don't be afraid of asking him.. cause only he can answer your question.
2007-03-22 00:58:17 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move home!!! This is not the man you want to spend the rest of your life with. It sounds like he has a good babysitter and that he takes you for granted. Things will not get better and you should not have to bend over backwards for his attn. Find someone who will be there for you and you will not feel empty inside anymore.
2007-03-22 00:50:12 · answer #6 · answered by Shanna h 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds as if he is someone who isn't connected with his emotions at all. Perhaps there is a reason for this, and you can both sit down, talk and try to enact a change, but - if I were you - I'd call it a lost cause and move on.
2007-03-22 00:48:30 · answer #7 · answered by Annie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he loved you, he would have been with you and it would have shaken him to tears/death that he almost lost you. Leave. There must be something or someone else on his mind because that's just unthinkable..
LEAVE NOW. I wouldn't trust him either if i were you. You probably wont end up leaving him, but you deserve so much more.
2007-03-22 00:53:43 · answer #8 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if u feel this way right now dont hesitate to leave him, u dont wanna marry sumone who u cant trust. u pretty much answered ur own question at the end. so go on girl bc ur family is waiting for u with open arms.
2007-03-22 00:53:32 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm glad that you are all right, but you need to move on, there'
no way i would stay with someone that has so little concern
for the person that they suppose love.. you deserve much
better then that, you have your life back. time to find your self
someone that will appreciate you. he does not.
2007-03-22 00:50:56 · answer #10 · answered by luckystar 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋