should I ?

Question

Hi I'm in need of other peoples opinions in my current situation. I'm 25, have a "good" job(with no benefits), a beutiful 3yr old daughter, another baby on the way in 3 months, and a house. So I am in a better situation then some people. ok...question...I am thinking of joining the ARMY for more reasons than 1, for my family(benefits), for myself(because i've basically done absolutly nothing with my life), and also if sucessful completion of service(dont die) my little ones can have a father to look up to not just a dead beat dad thats content with nothing. I have spoke with recruiters and the ARMY is the only one who will accept me(due to the fact that the only thing i did do in my life was get in trouble)but that part of me i have chose to defeat. I do understand that I'll probaly have to leave my family for a while and miss a little of these importat times in their lives but im doing this for them. In that away time I want to take advantage of it and get a degree under my belt. HELP

Answer 1

I was a Navy wife for 6 years until my husband got out last year. The things that I would stress to you from our personal experiences are as follows:

1) An E1 brings home only about $1,301.40 per month BEFORE taxes, life insurance, dental benefits, etc. are taken out. And even if you manage to go in as an E3, that will only take you up to $1,534.20. You will also get a Basic Allowance for Housing that is based on where your family is living. Alternatively, you may be able to get your family into base housing. This is not guaranteed as there are usually waiting lists; and base housing is not always the nicest/safest place to have your family living. Depending on the cost of living where your family is located, this may not be enough to live on. And if you can't pay your bills, and the creditor complains to the Army you can get in trouble for that too. Oh, and if you want money for college, they will deduct $100 per month from your check for the first year you are in.

2) The sacrifices will not just be your own. Your wife will be in the position of trying to raise 2 young children alone. If the Army moves her to the location you are stationed out of, she may be completely on her own without any family or friends nearby to help her. Childcare is expensive in military towns. When my husband was deployed the last time, I went for 19 months without even being able to get a haircut because I had no one to keep our son. When the washer broke, I was on my own to try to get it repaired. When I wrecked the car, I was completely alone. When I was hanging my head over the toilet with the flu, I still had to manage to take care of my son. And she'll be doing it with 2 kids all while worrying about you being in a war zone. It will be incredibly hard for her. Make sure she understands what she is getting into or you may come home from war to marital problems. The stress can destroy a marriage.

3) No matter what the recruiters tell you, you will not be guaranteed leave to come home for holidays. Once you are in Iraq, someone would have to be dead or dying before you would be guaranteed leave to come home. And even then, they still may not let you. If your wife breaks her leg but is in stable condition and not in danger of dying, you may not be allowed to come home to help with the kids. In fact, you may not even know about it for several days. If you get shipped out before she has the baby, they may not let you come home for the birth.

4) Yes, benefits are good to have. But having Tricare does not guarantee good medical care. The conditions that were recently uncovered at Walter Reed Medical Center are not all that rare. It used to take me 2-4 months to get an appointment with a doctor. It took me 2 years to get a diagnosis of Autism for my son. You do not get to choose your own doctors, and not that many civilian docs accept Tricare.

5) This is not a decision that you can undo. You are stuck for however long your term of enlistment is for, assuming you live that long. There are less dangerous ways to make your kids proud of you. And if what they remember of their childhood is never having a father around, they may be too angry with you to be proud. It took a long time for my son to trust his father again. At least 6 months before they were really able to re-bond. It's not an easy thing for any of you.

6) If you got into a lot of trouble before, certain jobs may not be open to you because you may have trouble getting a security clearance. Be certain that the job you wind up with is going to assist you in finding employment when you get out of the army. There isn't a whole lot of market in the civilian sector for someone whose only training is to point and shoot.

I am focusing on the downsides since I figure that the recruiters will tell you lots of positive stuff. As far as they go, the only way you will know for certain that they are telling the truth is if they put it in writing on an official document. Anything else that they tell you may or may not be true or accurate. That's not to say that they are necessarily all liars or bad people. But they have a quota to meet or they can get into trouble. And the needs of the Army will always be their first priority. And right now what the Army most needs are people to send to war.

Hope some of this is helpful.

Answer 2

It sounds to me like you've begun looking for the easy way to make ammends for the past mistakes you've made. To go into the Army is a good way to grow up, but basically at 25 you are already grown up. You'll find the Army to be the hardest thing you'll ever have to deal with, and will probably fail miserably. If you are commited to making a better life for yourself and your family, you can do it without going into the Army. If you want a degree, go the local Jr. College and talk to a counsellor. You may be very surprised to find the number of programs and financial assistance you can get for educational purposes. BTW, I've nothing against the Army.

Answer 3

There are a few things I would like to put into this that may help.

1. Soldiers and Sailors Civil Relief Act. When or if you do enlist, get a copy of your enlistment orders and send it to all your creditors along with a note explaining that you will be invoking the Soldiers and Sailors civil relief act. By federal law your creditors must reduce you interest rate to 6% for all interest bearing debts prior to your enlistment.

2. Yes your family will be eligible for TRICARE, the military medical system, this will take a few weeks to get established. Make sure you give your spouse a power of Attorney. Once you get her on DEERS you spouse will be able to get the dependent I.D. cards needed to get on to the nearest base for medical treatment.

3. Ask about ARMY College fund, this is separate from Montgomery G.I. Bill, could be extra money for college.

4. There will be stress for you and your spouse, make sure to use whatever support system you and your spouse have to help deal with the stress. Friends, family, religious groups.

5. The dental insurance for dependents isn't free, they deduct for that, about $24 a month, it isn't great, but annual exams are free.

good luck.

Answer 4

Well, the bennies are good, but the pay is awful. Not to mention the risk of going to war. And it's not really a fun job. You have to work hard in all kinds of weather, and always do what other people tell you. IF you can handle all that, go for it. But make sure you USE your educational benefits.

Answer 5

You wont miss a little time, youll miss a lot of time with your family. I've been in 2 years and seen my 3 yr. old and my wife about 4 months. It was a big mistake joining, i hope you dont make the same mistake i did.

Answer 6

You always need to think about your family first so you are on the right step so far, as for someone to look up to.. You would be there hero, without the cape.. You would get insurance on them, and have all the benefits you needed. You will have to leave them for awhile, but they would be taken care of.. and if you seem to get in trouble all the time would you rather them have you over seas for our Country rather then in prison.. in the end you have to decide on your own tho.. Good luck

Answer 7

Just have your eyes WIDE open. You WILL go to Iraq unless you wait maybe another year to train. Many soldiers come back with shell-schock. Many are injured/amputees, and some die. If you survive all that, you can get a degree, MAYBE get a job. But the degree is key.

Also be aware that recruiters lie, straight up. They'll tell you you can finish college first, it's a lie, you can go as soon as you finish your 2ndary (job) training. They will pull you rght out of college. So just skip college until you're done anyway. Probably the easiest. The money they promise you will be HARD to come by.

Just be aware.

Answer 8

Very sincerely feel you have nobility in your thoughts on this: very much appreciate that, and strongly recommend you give up a few good things in life right now and go ahead and join the Army! All the best!

Answer 9

No, no, no. Have you seen all of the severely wounded soldiers coming back from Iraq. Do you want that to happen to you or worse yet, be killed and your children will be fatherless. They are desperate for soldiers to send to the front lines because so many are being killed and wounded. It is not unusual for a soldier to serve as many as 4 tours of duty.
If you must enlist, join the Coast Guard where you will be safe.

Answer 10

you're not a dead beat dad - you're supporting them right?

Other than that - go for it. I'm a military wife - and love the pride I have in my husband.