My boyfriend just proposed to me! I am really excited! He is wonderful. The only thing is that I am in the middle of an odd situation with one of my friends. I have decided to drop out of her wedding because her fiance was hitting on me and has cheated on her a lot. I didn't feel comfortable being in her wedding party because of the way he talked to me and tried to put his hands on me when he had a little too much to drink. I keep feeling guilty because I am happy and I know she isn't. I haven't even told her yet that I am engaged. I don't know how to tell her without seeming like I am bragging that I have it so much better than her, even though I know I do. It's so wierd that this happened all at the same time, but it did and I don't know what to do!!!
2007-03-21 16:58:18 · 13 answers · asked by really marine 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
She is still your friend. Treat her as such. Tell her about your engagement. Be open and honest with her about your feelings.
If you can not bring yourself to tell her about her fiance hitting on you, at least tell her that you will always be there for her, no matter what.
2007-03-21 17:07:14 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 0⤋
First of all, it is not your fault that her fiance (hopefully soon to be ex- fiance) is an A**hole. You should seriously talk to your friend and ask her gently about the decision she is about to make. The decision is hers but she needs to know that her potential husband has cheated on her. Things are going to magically change after they get married! These are issues that they either need to work out or part ways....
Second... Congratulations! That's fantastic that you have found a great guy and are so happy. Tell your friend - if you are worried about glouting then you won't come off as such. If she is truly your friend, she'll be elated for you.
Third, don't drop out of the wedding party. It sounds like your friend is going to need you more than ever. If you are really close, I would stand by her and be there for her. Just ignore the jerk and stay away from him. Hopefully, he is embarressed and your presence will remind him to be a better person to his future wife.
2007-03-22 08:50:30 · answer #2 · answered by jenny 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's exciting that you are happily engaged and you should tell your friend right away so she doesn't hear it from someone else. I am assuming you did tell her that her fiance was hitting on you. If not, don't do it right now. If she's marrying a guy who has cheated on her, she is making a mistake. Someone needs to tell her that, but the someone is not you. Maybe one of the other bridesmaids can tell her to re-think her marriage to this man. Go tell the bride that you have recently gotten engaged and you thought she'd like to know. Don't brag and don't jump for joy in front of her. But do tell her.
2007-03-22 00:09:06 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, if you have not told her you are dropping out of her wedding, the best thing (since she is a friend) is to go ahead and be in her wedding. You can tell her that you are also engaged and along with her being elated that you are tying the knot, you will be fulfilling her wishes for you to be a part of her wedding. Your time will come later and in your subconsciousness, you know you are headed for happier days. Congrats!!!
2007-03-22 00:09:17 · answer #4 · answered by Denise C 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say honesty (mostly) is the best policy. Tell her you are engaged in a private setting. Re-assure her that you are NOT out to steal her spotlight in anyway and tell her that you'd rather not be a part of the wedding party so as to ensure that you do not draw attention to your new engagement.
If she is ready to marry this man she probably knows about his drunken behaviour, so I would probably recommend leaving that part out unless you have SERIOUS concerns about their relationship at which point she obviously considers you a good enough friend you should be honest
2007-03-22 00:03:33 · answer #5 · answered by buddys_angeleyes 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
First of all don't feel guilty - congratulations.
Is she still getting married to this creep? Maybe keep your distance in terms of wedding planning and stuff.
I announced my engagement by email to a whole lot of people - so if you do it that way ( to lots of people at once) it won't be like your bragging. If she thinks it is, then it is her problem.
Once again Congrats!
2007-03-22 00:02:44 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you should make sure that your friend knows what a jerk her fiance is, otherwise you're not a true friend. Secondly, you should definetly tell her soon about you being engaged. If you wait and she hears it from someone else, it will make her feel bad or make her angry. It sounds to me like the two of you need to sit down and have a heart to heart to resolve everything.
2007-03-22 00:02:25 · answer #7 · answered by Carly O 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Don't put your happiness, in check, for someone else. Yes, her situation is difficult, but she is choosing to stay in it. Just tell her you got engaged; don't make it over the top, but do tell her. If you don't and she hears it from someone else, then she may feel even more offended.
Honestly, in this situation think of yourself first.
2007-03-22 00:02:52 · answer #8 · answered by Answer Girl 2007 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
just bring it up in conversation casually. Hopefully she won't take it as bragging. If she is still going to marry this guy she must not feel like she has it so bad. Anyways Congrats on your engagement!!!!
Best wishes
2007-03-22 00:04:13 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well she have to understand that life move on without her. I mean she should be happy for you if she is a good friend, people are different some people are lucky and some are not so lucky.
2007-03-22 00:04:23 · answer #10 · answered by Tummy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋