do i really like him? or am i only with him because i know he likes me?

Question

Hi. i've known this guy for 2 months. but we only started dating one month ago. when we were still getting to know each other at the start, it was really exciting and he made me so nervous. i found out that he really liked me because he was telling everyone. Now i'm not sure if i'm only with him because it was the natural progression of thigns. I mean, like, i couldn't see any reason NOT to go out with him...but now i'm confused and worried i'm only with him for the sake of being with him. i like the "idea" of being with him, the concept of having a boyfriend. but not so much head over heals crushing over him. i don't know what to do. when we used to make out, all i wanted to do was have sex with him ( i couldn't because i didn't have my implanon in) but now i'm not sure if i want to. what does this all mean? should i break up with him?

Answer 1

Sounds like you need some time for yourself to do some soul-searching.

You sound like a kind-hearted person because you're asking this. It does sound unfair for the both of you if you keep it going on like this.
Perhaps you need to tell him the details you've posted.
It's very good that you are aware of the notion that you're "only with him for the sake of being with him. i like the "idea" of being with him, the concept of having a boyfriend."

I have friends who would take in a boyfriend just for "protection" or take them in as a "social asset" which is of course a bit unfair if the guy is the one really head over heels for you. They have gone from their first month to their first anniversaries and they regret several things because they are in too deep and they've wanted out at the very beginning. It's suffocates people. Not healthy of course.

If you think that it would be better if you took some time alone, to do some thinking, reassess the situation, find out if you're happier with someone else, whatever it takes to make you happy, I do hope you find out. It's difficult to live in silent misery.

The thing is you might end up getting hurt, the both of you. Or, actually, possibly just him. More him because he seemed to have courted you, have been so chivalrous and the perfect gentleman. The thing is, you respect him and he deserves the truth. If you aren't sure of your feelings, talk to him about how you feel, the status of your relationship. Tell him your thoughts, that in the bigger picture, you're only being fair with him because he treated you right. This is how you are treating him right: with honesty and respect, whatever your decision may be.

But, hey, perhaps it's outside the sex. I'm not ruling out the possibility that you actually love him and it hasn't really sunk in. Or perhaps you really would be happier with someone, just not him. It would be a lot more painful if you truly want out and you'd chain yourself with him.

But if staying with him is what truly makes you happy (but according to the details here, it isn't really the case), or if you think dating with other people would be a better decision at the moment - well, it's all up to you, of course.

I watched the movie '300' - there's a very good line there when Leonidas found himself stuck between law and duty and what he thought was doing the right thing - "What would a free man (woman) do?"
I hope you do the right thing. But it is you who defines what this is.
Follow your bliss.
Best!

Answer 2

It sounds like you might have hooked up for the simple fact you like having a boyfriend. If you feel you not really as into him as you thought maybe you should break up with him, doesn't he deserve someone who's head over hells for him??

Answer 3

this ain't the guy who is giving you butterflies in the stomach. clearly attraction is a very important part of a relationship. if you're not into this guy the way you should be as a gf,then you gotta opt out. this will even give him a chance to find some one who is more ''his type''...
if your not feeling it- break up !...