I've been dating this guy for a while (4mos), but I'm a little confused about where I stand in the relationship. When he's around me I feel as though he's interested in me, but maybe he's a little intimidating by me. He doesn't to talk much, and when he calls our conversations only last a few minutes. We see each other, may once every two weeks. I feel stupid even writing this, because I should already know the what to do, but everytime I try to dump him, he just keeps calling me until I answer saying he really wants to be with me, and asking why i don't want to be with him. To me he seem rather childish and its'nt really ready for the type of relationship i want, but everytime i say this to him, he says that he does, & whenever i complain about anything he tries to fix it for a while but then we're right back where we started. I really do like him, and i want to try and make this work. I feel as though he would be a good man, but he needs to grow up. Any suggestions?
2007-03-21 14:42:07 · 15 answers · asked by Jazzy chick 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
We've talked before about the time we spend together, and he can't formulate a mature answer. He's just too childish, and after careful consideration I realize that he's just not on my level, and although i do want to be with him, I don't need another child, I need a man. He's 25, and I'm 23, but I guess it's true girls do mature faster the boys. Thanks again 4 your help, It is greatly appreciated.
2007-03-23 03:49:34 · update #1
sounds like he wants you in his life but doesnt want to commit to the relationship, if you only see each other every 2 weeks maybe its only about sex, and when you try to end it with him he knows that if he keeps ringing you and asking you why dont you want to be with him, that you will stay with him, your a sure thing, when you find that right man for you, you should be able to talk to that person for hours and hours about everything and nothing, not for a few minutes, it sound like there is no true connection, and hee needs to do some growing up and give you some answers, tell him exactly how you feel and what you want out of the relationship, and if he cant give it too you, tell him seeya , deep down inside you will know what you want, dont stay in a relationship only to save his feelings, think about yourself
2007-03-21 14:56:31 · answer #1 · answered by mumma_of_4 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, my relationship started off like this too, kinda. Only thing was that we talked for hours on the phone but when we got around each other, he was just so shy and quiet. That went on for about 7 or 8 months. Eventually, you two will get to know each other a little better and will open up a little more. I say, as long as he's treating you well, and there are no real problems between you two, then girl, stick it out. It might be worth it. Me and mine have been strong for over 3 years now and I must say, he is the love of my life. Just give it a little more time.
2007-03-21 14:51:09 · answer #2 · answered by tink 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your right about that.. he does seem a lil bit childish.. if your having these issues already maybe thats a sign that you'll never get through to him because you address the problem it seems fixed for a couple days and its back to square one.. makes you feel like you wasted your breath. just tell him look if you can't get yourself together we are not going to work. ask him what is the problem.. i think he's a lil shy around you and it seems like your the dominant one.. he's not taking no kind of control over the relationship. how are you and him together when you both don't see each other that often? and when you guys are around each other you and him have nothing to talk about. you and him are just too different and its conflicting with each other and causing non-communication.
2007-03-21 14:50:43 · answer #3 · answered by Blake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like he needs a mommy type. If what you want in a relationship is for you to do most of the work and conversation, then keep on seeing him. But if what you want is a equal relationship, you know, one where you each participate equally, then you need to dump him, stay dumped and wait for the right one to find you. I'm with a guy whom I love more and more each day. I am 44 yrs old and if you told me that there are real nice men out there 8 yrs ago, I'd have laughed in your face. But let me tell you this honey, there are nice men who are not boring, or who expect you to do all for nothing in return. Get rid of him and wait for the right one. He is not it.
2007-03-21 14:49:54 · answer #4 · answered by mcdermond3 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Thats tough. I would just be completely honest, tell him that it's weird that you only see each other every few weeks and that he just doesn't really seem to ever want to talk. I understand the phone thing b/c most guy loath the phone, unless they are talking to their friends about a fantasy football league. But don't put all your eggs in one basket. It's only been four months, that can be long for a relationship but in life, four months is nothing sweety! Good luck!
2007-03-21 14:47:54 · answer #5 · answered by Heather L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
aww! this guy sounds kinda sweet. =D i think that its great he wants to be with you, and you want to be with him. but there is definitely a problem when it comes to his "childish" behavior.
if u rly want to be with him i guess you already like him for who he is. right? if you dont, then maybe it rly just wont work out. i suggest that if u come to the conclusion that u dont {exactly} think you want to be with him--think long and hard about that one, take as long as you want--then you should break up permanantly. dont go back to him RIGHT afterwards, cuz then youll be stuck in the same situation all over again. wait a a week or two to see how u feel about being broken up.
sorry if thats a bit confusing. =(
2007-03-21 14:54:29 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
first of all don't feel stupid, we all fall into a bad relationship at some point. if you're having problems with him then you need to move on, right now it sounds like you just pity him. don't fall into his winning you back charm or annoyance. when you're really in love you'll want to spend every second with him, right now it seems like you don't see this guy at all, which doesn't help. i know it feels bad to dump someone but, it's the right choice and you'll feel better with yourself.
2007-03-21 14:48:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
He sounds very immature and he just isn't getting it.
Tell him when he grows up and if your still available you then and only then will consider a relationship with him.
Girls mature faster than guys. How old is he?
Regardless of his age however unfortunately some guys never grow up!
2007-03-21 14:52:10 · answer #8 · answered by Intelfem7 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with your gut instincts and get this guy out of your life permanently because this is not a mature, healthy relationship.
He is using your sympathy to keep you hooked like a sweet little fish on his line but that bait is really starting to stink so please spit it out and swim away.
2007-03-21 14:48:37 · answer #9 · answered by Bethany 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
simply tell him that his feelings for you appear quite different than your feelings for him
and for the awhile you would prefer to just date and have your options open
if he is truly interested in making this work, the efforts will be there - if not, your heart is no longer at risk on this one
2007-03-21 14:46:28 · answer #10 · answered by Marsha 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋