My friend weighs 37 kilos (about 81 pounds) and is at least 155 cm (5"1) if not taller (way too skinny). I observe her in school. Her lunch habits are weird. Sometimes she brings cakes and brownies for lunch and other times she brings no lunch at all. She doesn't always say no to food but I've noticed her restricting herself. I mean, if I were so extremely thin, I would be eating more not only because I want to be healthier but because I can eat without worrying about being fat. But she just doesn't eat well. And her mum has confided in me that she hasn't eaten a full meal for the last month or so. She openly admits she is underweight but we never talk about anorexia. I have problems talking to her about weight and stuff. See, I am healthy as far as Body Mass Index goes, but I am fat to look at. So I find it difficult to imagine how a person so skinny feels and to be frank, I even feel jealous sometimes. At these times, I feel like a horrible friend. Tell me, what can I do to help her?
2007-03-21 14:33:47 · 6 answers · asked by bee 3 in Health ➔ Diet & Fitness
You're not a horrible friend; you show that you are kind and caring by asking for advice about how to help your friend. In this age of admiration for skinny people, it's normal to have a bit of jealousy, so don't kick yourself over this.
It certainly sounds like your friend is anorexic and is possibly binge eating (the cakes and brownies).
Keep on being a normal, natural friend. If you eat lunch with her, make sure that your own lunch is packed with nutritious, non-fat foods. Without making a big point about it, perhaps you can share a piece of fruit with her now and then.
Her Mother is aware of a problem, but does she say anything to your friend? It's her responsibility, after all. Perhaps one day when you're at her house, you might all be able to discuss anorexia in an informal manner. Maybe she and her Mother are having difficulty communicating about this topic. It's a hard one. Mothers often don't want to raise the subject in case they are putting ideas into their daughters heads and teenage daughters aren't always that good at sharing their problems with the family.
2007-03-21 18:00:21 · answer #1 · answered by jenki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ironically, she probably feels the way you do - fat to look at. that's how most anorexic people perceive themselves - their body image is totally distorted.
Since her mother does not seem to be handling the situation (which she really should!), talk to a trusted teacher, or the school nurse, or maybe another adult relative of your friend's - someone who can talk some sense into the mother! (What about the father? If he is in the picture, he should be involved, also.)
Your friend needs to see a doctor - several, actually. A physician as well as a psychologist. Seeing how her condition seems to be pretty far advanced, she might even need to go to a clinic for a while. (That's not as bad as it sounds - it's mostly about learning to accept one's body, make healthy choices, and not obsess about food all the time.)
You could try to get her mother to see reason, but she'll probably take it more seriously if it comes from an adult.
2007-03-21 21:44:48 · answer #2 · answered by Ms. S 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should definitely encourage her to eat but if this unhealthy habit continues then you need to tell someone because (I'm sure you know) anorexia can cause death. I'm not the skinniest person ever either and most of my friends are pretty skinny. I wouldn't feel to bad of a friend if you were jealous. Everyone wants to look good, even though it's the person inside that counts, it boosts our self confidence. But please tell someone because you don't want her to get hurt. But, I don't think you want her to get hurt and she might be angry at you but look at it this way, you might save her life.
2007-03-21 21:42:27 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a friend just like that only she made her self vomit and what I did was wait a couple weeks and see if those habits stopped and they didnt so first I told her she was going to hurt her self and then I told our Homeroom teacher then the counselor she got really mad at me but she stopped.
2007-03-21 21:41:51 · answer #4 · answered by →Emily Lucy← 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell your school counselor. You can ask to stay anonymous. This way she will get the help she needs and not feel betrayed by you. You seem to be a great friend. Good luck.
2007-03-21 21:39:46 · answer #5 · answered by suz' 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Her mother had confided in you? Why hasn't she taken her daughter to a doctor, for crying out loud??!!
People DIE from eating disorders every day. Her mother is being negligent if she isn't getting her professional help.
2007-03-21 21:38:50 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋