How do I tell a friend her clothes are a mess?

Question

I have a close friend whose clothes are just awful. For instance, the last time we went out she wore ratty, polyblend blazer that was too big over a white chiffony dress with knock off Uggs. The other day she wore ragged dickies, sneakers, and an acrylic sweater to her office job--a place where everyone else wears suits or twinsets. If she were just generally clueless, that'd be one thing, but she's really intentional about looking awful. She prizes her fashion sense and actually wants to be a designer. If you try to shop with her and steer her toward things that aren't horrible, she turns up her nose. She really is a cute, cute girl. What do you think?

Actually, I don't talk about her behind her back or sit around silently judging her. And I don't want other people to, hence my concern.

She's a cute girl and, as far as I know, good at her job. But her raggedy clothes aren't communicating either fact. I realize that it's unfair to judge people based on their appearance--and I also realize that people do it all the time.

I'm not trying to make her just like me or make her listen to me. I just want to help her out--or at least help her no she needs a little help.

So does anyone have anything useful to say?

Answer 1

The woman is a hopeless case of a clothing designer wannabe. She sees the latest high-class trash and tries to imitate it.

Mentioning anything negative about this disastrous fashion "sense" would wound heavily, and you are better off leaving it alone. You don't have to say you like what she wears, but mum's the word, definitely. Unless you don't want to have her as a friend.....

Answer 2

I think you should be honest about it. But remember you probably will hurt her feelings in some way or another. However, this is key in a good friendship. You need to make her feel absolutely terrible so she really understands how terrible her outfits are.

I've been working as fashion designer for the last few years and I'm not one to avoid seeing the latest fashion disaster. However the way your friend looks is how other people think of her. She needs to understand she has a terrible understanding by specifically noting what is wrong with her outfits.

For example, one of my newest interns had an absolutely atrocious outfit, so I went up and spit on her. The next time she wore it I put grinded catnip up and put a thin layer on her back; I called a pet shop and borrowed a few cats and then let them loose in the office. The cat was out of the bag! I then scolded her a second time and threatened to write a bad letter of recommendation to her fashion school.

Even when she did face up to the fact that she was terrible in her choice of clothing I would always pull pranks on her, and I encouraged the my staff to make her life a living hell.

As a result she no longer looks like a skank. And I'm proud of her fashion choices!

So remember, honesty is the best policy. Also a bit of physical abuse is a good idea too!

Answer 3

Not for nothing, but what the hell is it to you what she does? She still has a job and pays her own bills, so it isn't your place to try and tell people what they ought to do. That's just RUDE of you. Mind your own business and keep your nose in your WORK, where it freaking belongs. It's women like you that make it so hard for the rest of us to succeed with your whining and bantering at us for not looking the way you want us to. This might sound mean, but I don't intend to be---rather it's intended to wake you up so you realize just how stupid this is. We women don't need this crap.

And who died and made you the queen of what's "cute?" That's an even better question. Like I said, work instead of look at what other people are doing.

Answer 4

No way!

WIll that achieve the desired result?

Human beings tend to get agoraphobia - fear of public places and market places. People use their choice of clothes to feel comfortable in public. They also tend to take vehicles that they can measure with them. Are you sure that you're not using your friend as a vehicle? It's typical to want to "measure" your vehicle so you know where things are at. Don't do it! She's a person.

Try taking up skateboarding. Maybe you can both have a go at it. (I'm just being facetious.)

Answer 5

Why dont you just admire her for her individuality instead of griping on her about something that obviously bothers you a whole lot more than it bothers her? In fact, is it possible that you are jealous of her freedom? Just asking.

Seems funny that someone would be a "close" friend, and you would feel this way about her. Or is she just a close friend so that you have someone to talk nasty about behind her back? I wonder, this seems very convoluted considering you are talking about "office wear".

Answer 6

Well, if she doesn't want to change, you can't make her. I think she's just happy with the way she looks. For example, i admit i don't dress like everyone else but i'm okay with that. I guess she's just comfortable with the way she looks. For me, nothing annoys me more than when my friends try to say something about the way i dress. I would suggest that you accept her for who she is.

Answer 7

She must be trying to get attention by dressing wiered. May be pick out a decent looking clothe and ask her to try it on and then comment how beautiful she looks might work. But then again, if she is trying for atttention nothing is going to work.

Answer 8

Leave her alone and let her wear what she chooses. She may become a fashion trend-setter!

Answer 9

I think unless she asks your opinion you should keep your criticism to yourself.

She must like how she looks.

Answer 10

Oh just be a friend. Do you want her to happy, if so let her alone.