what can i do?

Question

okay well i have this friend, and she's getting really stressed out b.c she wont let her feelings out cuz she can only think about everyone else. I need her to think about her self for once! what can i do?
(this is a question my friend asked me & she was talking about me... but I want to know what other people think, so if you have any input; negative and/or positive, please leave a comment!)

Answer 1

No matter how hard it is, try to think about you first. Try to think about if your actions are better for yourself or the people around you. Now, I'm not telling you to go ahead and be selfish, just relax a little and solve problems for yourself before you do so for others. Trust me, it'll take A LOT of weight off your shoulders.

Answer 2

Thinking of others is a good thing, but its a bad habit to constantly focus on other people's problems. First, you need to recognize when you can help and when you can't. Second, you need to move on when you encounter a situation where you can't help, or the person doesn't want your help. Learn to accept that other people have problems, and if the problems aren't bothering them, then it shouldn't bother you. Offer your support, and give it when asked, but don't assume that someone needs your help whenever you think something is wrong - unless you are superwoman.

Here's what you don't want to become: A person I work with spends most of her time passing on gossip about other people's problems to anyone that will listen. She is a really nice person, but she drives everyone nuts because she is always meddling in other people's business, but in her mind, she is trying to be helpful. She is often very angry or unhappy when someone else is wronged, even though she was not even involved. All of this seems to make her a very miserable person, and she constantly dwells on negative things. Its very sad.

Answer 3

I think your friend is using everyone elses problems as an excuse not to face her own. Its the way she copes. Truthfully the best thing would be for her to start some therapy to talk about it in a private session and get some feedback about some things. But she has to want to do this, its a hard thing to suggest, usually someone has to come into that realization on their own.
As a person who spent many years trying to fix other peoples problems, it took a long time for me to realize that I needed to face mine first, and now that I'm working on it, I'm a better person for it.
I guess let her do what she needs to do, if she feels she needs to help everyone, then she needs to do that. But be there for her when she has a breakdown, theres probably alot of bottled up feelings there.

Answer 4

Your question is like a trick question... who do I address, you or your friend?

Are you saying that you are sensitive to other people's feelings that is why you do not let your feelings out and in the end stresses you out ?

Well, it is okay to be tactful specially if the other person is sensitive and will take your words negatively. But if you feel that this person trusts you and is asking for your opinion, then you should say whatever you think is right, specially if it is for her own good.

Have an outlet like a diary or a BLOG if you need to vent out.

Answer 5

I use to be just like your friend then I let people stop walking all over me and I feel like such a better person.I just don;t care what people think about me.Screw them.Tell your friend she can't keep this bottled up.

Answer 6

well...im not that great on advice but i think "ur friend" aka u should just take a saturday or something and just relax. ignore all your friends problems and b.s (lol) or just tell people to stop telling u their problems...idkk ask someone else im not that great in this particular question =(