Unsanitary mother in law?

Question

My mother in law is very very unsanitary. I have a huge problem with it, cuz I have a two year old running around here, and I dont want her to get sick from carlessness. I already had a heated argument about my mother in law cleaning a cat litter box over the kitchen sink and also pouring used cat water of our dirty dishes! Today, she took cake with her in the washroom, and prob ate it while on the toliet. Then when she opend the door she put it on the bathroom sink! then my 2yrd old wanted some of her cake. How do i tell her, to stop being like that without a huge fight, she always turns it out bad!
I think she should to her cat stuff in the washroom , then do her cake stuff in the kitchen! please give me advice!!!!!!

She is my wives mother, and she lives with us!

Answer 1

I had very similar problem with my mom. My husband would have fits because my mom would always do gross stuff.

My husband never said a word to her or made her feel bad. It is not your place to be yelling at your mother-in-law. How would you feel if your wife went off on your mom or dad?

I just took the "just playing but dropping the hint" kind of approach. If I were your wife, I would say when she goes to do something inappropriate, "Mom, we usually clean that in the basement sink. The rag and cleaner is on the shelf." or "Ma, weren't you the one who always yelled at me,when I was a kid, for taking food in the bathroom, now look at you! I think your grounded! (hahaha)"
Trust me, I know what your going through! The best way to handle it, is trying to avoid attacking and hurt feelings. You don't want to make these fixable issues turn into major family disputes. Good Luck!

Answer 2

She wont change her habits. Im in the same boat as u but I have a 6 month old and my mother in law refuses to wash her hands after the toilet and dont like cleaning anything and her cat liter is always very dirty. I know its sounds bad but I no longer let my son go near her unless she is at our house and I can tell her she goes by my rules or shes not welcome. Sometimes u need to put ur foot down and with a child at risk is always the best.

Answer 3

Whoa! If I had a married sibling I'd swear your mother in law was my mother. So here's how we chose to deal with it. Have your spouse go with you and the 2 of you need to tell her your concerns together. If you go alone she will think only you feel that way since she raised your spouse. Explain that you are trying to teach your child good sanitation practices and ask that she do the same when she has the baby. As long as you approach it from a teaching stand point she should not get offended. Then when your child is older teach them good habits and things to avoid at grandma's house.

Answer 4

What a disgusting pig. Does she live with you? Does your husband not see a problem with this? He absolutely has to get involved - it is HIS mother. Any way she can leave? If this is just a visit-thing, then don't let her visit or you visit her until she straightens up. Meet in a neutral place to see her grandchild - a park, McDonalds.

If she lives with you...geez, I don't know. Get rid of the cat, and Lysol her and everything she touches -- just be her shadow until it drives her nuts!

Has she always been this way, i.e., when your husband was growing up? If this is a change in personality, then a visit to the doctor is in order. She may have some mental health issues.

Answer 5

As much as you hate to your wife and yourself are just going to have to sit down with her and tell her like it is for your childs sake that is just not sanitary at all its either that or your child is going to end up sick.Its also her grandchild so I would think she would care for his well beings as much as you .I have a 2 years old grandson and my daughter and son in law have rules that they want the grandparents to follow like no cookies or candy there very stricked about things like that and thats there child and we obey there rules.When my grandson was first born they carried hand sanitizer around and had people use it before holding him because he was premature and they dident care they just dident want him getting sick.So if I were you I would just tell her how you feel .

Answer 6

Oooh. That's a toughy. You might want to have your significant other (whoever is related to your MIL) talk to her for you. That might not cause so much tension. Let her know that if she wants her grandbaby to come over she's gonna have to clean up a little and be a little more careful with what goes where...good luck!

Answer 7

That's awful! YOu need to have a talk with your significant other in regards to this. She needs to have a little bit of respect in your household. Have your significant other explain the importance of cleanliness especially having a 2 yr old around...good luck and hopefully she understands!

Answer 8

You're right that is NASTY!
I just don't see how you can tell her how you feel without it coming out wrong and causing a fight ..... I mean you can try to re-word all of it, but since you have already....she thinks you are just after her~ I would ask someone else (like your husband to try or someone other than you)

Answer 9

All I can say is ewww, that's so Nasty!! I just have to tell her straight out to just stop because my baby is the most important thing in the world to me. Your wife should understand and tell her also, if she cared enough.

Answer 10

you should talk to your wive about how you feel. probably not the best thing to talk to your mother in law on your own. she may have a better relationship, and be able to sit down and talk to your mother in law more effectively.