She doesn't call me on christmas or my birthday. She refuses to acknowledge me, lend me moral or financial support or even see me. I was an extremely abused child. My mother stood by while my father physically and emotionally abused me on a daily basis. She even used to get me loaded on pot and cocaine so I wouldn't feel it so much. As soon as I went away to college, she left my dad and took my brother with her. She has always done everything she could to keep me and my brother from being close. She has always tried to stop him/us from having a good relationship. I am having a terribly difficult time coping with all of this and cannot help but feel as though she is an evil and terrible person.
2007-03-21 12:05:41 · 7 answers · asked by NOSONOFABITCH 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
She is a terrible person for putting you through all this and she should be ashamed of herself. I really don't have the answer to why she does this and i dont think anyone can tell you that. Maybe if you seen a therapist, that could help you cope with all of this. I know some people don't like to but it would help alot if you talked to one and maybe they could explain alot more to you and help you cope with all that has happened to you as a child and now. You sound like a really great person and you do not deserve any of this. Just try to start moving on with you life and not worry about her and better yourself and make you future better and start dealing and coping with everything... I wish you the best of luck and i hope everything works out for the best for you.
2007-03-27 19:56:19 · answer #1 · answered by key to your answer 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
She sounds evil. Be glad that she is not in your life with the character that she has! If it's any consolation, I think she probably stays away from you because she feels guilty about what she did in the past and doesn't want you to confront her about it. It is up to your brother to reach out to you but I have a feeling she makes it easy for him to be dependent on her. Maybe she feels like he will be the person to protect her from people like your father - that's just a guess. Her life couldn't have been too easy in that situation; I'm not excusing her, just thinking that she could have felt unable to stand on her own and needed your father for financial support.
If you are having a terrible time coping, it is not going to get easier when she someday dies and leaves you with your brother as your closest remaining family. So get some therapy now so you can prepare for that day. Parents do get older and pass on. You and your brother will have a lot to talk about and it won't be easy.
2007-03-21 19:29:19 · answer #2 · answered by kathyw 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What happen to your mom is quite common. When your dad, her husband sexually abuse you, she become jealous! I know it sounds sick, but it is true. She envy the fact that her husband saw you in a manner of getting the attention away from her, your mom. She also don't want own-up to the responsibility of allowing this to happen. Each time she looks at you it reminds her of the fail duty as a mother. Your mother can't face you! She knows she really screwed-up badly in raising you! This is reason why she won't acknowledges you on Christmas or your birthday.
If you want a relationship with you mom, you first forgive her in your heart. Once you come to terms of with the forgiveness. You must verbally comfort her and explain how you forgave her and you still want to build a relationship with her. It would be best to send her a small present and a note and then be at her front door.
You may want to request from your brother to help persuade your mother as well, but it ok if you don't want a relationship with your mom. She is partially responsible of what happen to you.
The true evil, terrible person is your dad. It may not too late for you press chargers against him. If you foresees this possibility, you may need assistance from your mom.
God Bless
2007-03-21 19:44:08 · answer #3 · answered by tony 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have every right to feel this way. My heart goes out to you. God has a purpose for your life and he will reveal it in due season. Try to get some help for the emotional as well as physical abuse that you suffered. You are not a victim anymore, but a survivor. You are the special one that God chose for the powerful anointing that is upon your life. You are a living testimony of the goodness of God. You can't make someone love you if they don't, but you can love yourself more than the whole world can hate you. Hold on to what you know is right, and live and let live. I am interceding with you right now for God to bless you with a wife, and children.
2007-03-21 20:16:03 · answer #4 · answered by butterfly 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I lived this same situation. My brother lived with my mother for over 25 years. He just past away at the age of 60 on 2/4/2007. Neither of them spoke to me for 25 years and when my mother died in 2005 she didn't want me to know and same with my brother, he said he had no relatives.
I had no choice in life (age 59 1/2) but to survive the situation, get stronger and become independant.
2007-03-21 19:33:05 · answer #5 · answered by Patty G 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try some self-parenting, there are people that have faced all sorts of abuse worse than yours and have turned their experience to serve the good of others.Get some counseling, perhaps your still having that magical thinking that someday your mother will try and redeem herself.You're still stuck in the past, unable to deal with reality today,and have hope for yourself in the future...get some counseling..bless you
2007-03-21 19:22:18 · answer #6 · answered by Sandy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is and I would stay away from her if I was you. You don't need her in your life.
2007-03-21 19:10:14 · answer #7 · answered by kitkat 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋