my husband and i live in japan and our parents in oklahoma... my father in law and i get along but then there is his mom... everytime we need to talk to her she says "OH GOD SHES PREGNANT..thank god you had me scared.". and shes always on my butt about gettin a job or goin to shcool....she REFUSES to talk to me.... this only seems to be since we got married but we dated 2 years before and she never seemed tohave a problem with me untill now... how do i deal with it without causing HUGE problems...
2007-03-21 10:41:01 · 14 answers · asked by Lindsey richardson 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
im starting school here shortly... i dont have a job because we just got here and i dont speak japanese....
2007-03-21 10:52:00 · update #1
Hello There just writing to let you know i have one of those also me and husband dated for about 11 years then got married it wasn't until we got married did we start having problems! I guess they know that they are really not the only woman in there life know! They used to feel needed for their laundry, cooking, loving, or just a shoulder to lean on! we'll we are here for the long haul and they don't know how to accept it my advice for you is to tell her if i get pregnant than its an blessing you'll have to accept and for career remarks let her know you're happy with were you are in life and if she wants to be apart of your new life together she will have to accept that also and be happy and believe in yourself its not you its her !
2007-03-21 10:55:26 · answer #1 · answered by denise l 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to talk to her to her face and tell her to back off. Tell her that what she says bothers you and that if shes not capable of talking to you in a mature manner then she will not be allowed to talk to you ever, nor will her opinons be validated by you. I doubt it'll work though, Mother In-Laws can be a royal pain in the A**! LOL
On the other hand though, since I don't know the whole story, my question to you is: Why the hell don't you have a job or a plan to do something with your life?! Maybe if you got some direction your Mother In-Law might back off you a bit?
2007-03-21 17:49:25 · answer #2 · answered by West_End_Girl 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like she just wants the best for her son (and you). She's probably worried that if you're pregnant that he'll have a hard time with his job. She might also be jealous because she knows she can't just get up and go to Japan to see your child. If you don't have a job, then she's probably worrying about the finances of your family and thinks you're just being lazy. I would have your husband talk to his mom and ask her what she thinks if wrong with you and have him deal with her. I would definately let him know your concerns.
2007-03-21 17:46:53 · answer #3 · answered by cobra427jah 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She's threatened by you. You took away her baby boy. Get your husband and sit down with her make sure you have your HUSBAND tell her you're not going anywhere and she needs to stop acting this way. Have him lay down the law but make sure you dont just sit in the corner and listen...voice your opinion because if you dont she will succeed and your marriage may be ruined because of her.
2007-03-21 17:55:42 · answer #4 · answered by ♥ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just reassure her that you love her son and you will be a good wife to him. Don't argue or start a fight about it but do stand your ground.
Your mother-in-law is proubly concerned about your future together from the way it sounds. Once she sees that you are both being responsible and are happy maybe she will lighten up.
Try writing her a letter and just be polite and let her know how well the two of you are doing and how happy the two of you are together. good luck!
2007-03-21 17:54:46 · answer #5 · answered by hopefloats 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you should try to find out first why is she keeps telling she is pregnant everytime she meets you. what really makes her to say that. besides it is your marrige.if she is still pesting you about a job try to help her by getting a job in thaty way maybe she could kill her time by spending there....... but don't worry it won't cause you any problem of whereby pesting for cash or other stuff..... all the best
2007-03-21 17:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go with the flow & stay pleasant all the time. Tell her hi from the background. Eventually, she'll speak to you. Or just take the phone semi away from him by speaking into it asking how she's doing. Make it all about her. She'll love the attention.
2007-03-21 17:49:44 · answer #7 · answered by J Doe 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just be nice to her and love her anyway. As far as addressing the problem she's his mom and he needs to stand up for you to her. It will be tough for you for years to come if he does not lay down the rules with her and draw the line. Trust me I've been there.
2007-03-21 18:24:06 · answer #8 · answered by teresacmt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just ignore her and avoid her as much as you can. You will be better off. don't try to make friends with her she's just a bit jealous because her son has another woman in her life, let her get over it on her own.avoid her as much as you can....or speak honestly with her about how you feel..But she may ignore you and talk even more crap about you..Ignore the *****
2007-03-21 17:46:19 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't, whatever you do will cause a problem. The only question is how big and what will it do to your husbands relationship with his parents.
Talk to your husband and do what he says.
2007-03-21 17:47:40 · answer #10 · answered by Just a friend. 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋