I recently found out that my boyfriend of 5 and a half years has been cheating on my for nearly two years with one of our coworkers. He and I have been together since we were 16, and I've always felt that we had a stronger bond than any couple I knew. We were each other's best friends. But then last week the other girl called me and told me that he'd been cheating on me with her, and he didn't deny it. I want to work this out but don't know if I could ever trust him to keep it in pants from now on. What do you think?
2007-03-21 10:26:51 · 23 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
This is part of being a young adult. Seriously, long term relationships become more likely to last without incidents in your late 20's. Likely is the key word here. I'm not making a black/white statement. In your teens and early 20's you need to be thinking about having fun and getting through college.
2007-03-21 10:32:22 · answer #1 · answered by notasperfectasyou 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let me count where your problems are coming from:
1. You have not married this man after 5 years. This shows you're weak as a woman.
2. You are romantically involved with this man outside of marriage. This also shows weakness in you as a woman.
3. You met him at 16. People are still growing through their 20s. Today he's not the same he was at 16. He may not be the right man for you.
4. You are delusional thinking you had a strong bond. What's strong is your need for stability with him. He doesn't feel he same way (obviously).
5. You need to break this relationship and mature into a woman. Once you've done that you'll meet the right guy. It may even be this one. But you'll never know until you know who YOU are.
2007-03-21 17:35:15 · answer #2 · answered by stranger2ooo 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Once a cheater always a cheater. you cant trust him again and if you have any respect for yourself at all you would just drop that realationship because if he was cheating on you for 2 years then there must be something missing that this other girl has. Just let them be together and when he comes running back (which he will cause 5 years is a long time) dont take him back until you MAKE him earn his trust back
2007-03-21 17:35:05 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
WELL... You are going through a lotta pain right now. And you won't be able to handle this, but you gotta just dump him. I had this problem but my boyfriend of 5 yrs was not cheating on me with a woman, it was drugs. And he was becoming the A..ho dopers ARE! I made a decision I was better than that, dumped him, and cried every day for a YEAR! It felt like somebody close to me DIED! But it was me dying to get a life! Choose YOU! That will make you a stronger person for the next relationship you might get into.
2007-03-21 23:20:03 · answer #4 · answered by ravin_lunatic 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey....walk away. He has been decieving you for two years. That is a LOT of lying and it's the construction of a web that you need to get out of. This guy will not only hurt you again, but he will hurt the other girl as well. The fact that you want to work this out tells me that you are definitely hurting and not confident in yourself. You need to work on getting out of this relationship and rebuilding yourself without this guy in your life. If you take him back, you will regret it. You are worth so much more.
2007-03-21 17:39:11 · answer #5 · answered by Kellie 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Personally, I say keep an eye on him: but, you don't want to be too intrusive. That's a relationship killer. What you should do is talk to him about it and figure out why he cheated on you in the first place. Try to figure out what's the problem in your relationship and try to make it better. If, by chance, he cheats on you again, that's the time to end your relationship and find a better man.
2007-03-21 17:35:20 · answer #6 · answered by DJ Desikari 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd love to tell you that it'd never happen again because I know how badly it hurts. While it's true that people can change - my experience wasn't so great. He cheated on me while we were engaged - said it never happen again - I married him anyway - a year and half later we were getting divorced and he went off to live with one of his mistresses!
Just be careful and follow your heart. If you can't regain the trust though - there's not much hope.
2007-03-21 17:33:36 · answer #7 · answered by reandsmom77 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl, I was with my ex for 10 YEARS!!!! and the relationship never worked. I always thought that it was bull that once they cheat they'll keep on doing it, well people that said that were right. At the first time they did it, meant that they stop loving you, and we stopped getting them interested. sorry it hurts to know that you can never trust or work things out with the one you love.
2007-03-21 17:33:08 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey, this is not a one time discretion. I could possibly forgive a guy for that, but this is not an "oops". He has shown that he is not honest, trustworthy, and that he does not respect you.
It will be scary to break up with somebody after being together for that long, but if you do you are free to find somebody who you will have a real bond with, one based on honesty, love and mutual respect.
2007-03-21 17:31:39 · answer #9 · answered by Laura H 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he admitted to it, then I would back off and figure out how you truly feel about him. What you thought of the relationship and what he thought and felt appear to be two different things.
What I would do is move on in your life and focus on yourself.
Forget about guys for awhile. The right one will come along when you're not looking for it. Seriously, that's when love shows up in your life.
2007-03-21 17:31:34 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋