I have a 21 year old step-daughter living at home. She has a baby from a marriage that never should have occurred. She tries to tell us how to set up our own home to "baby" proof it. A lot of things have been put up, so the baby can not reach them, but she really does not set boundries for him. He is 10 months old. She also baby sits for her cousin and those kids ae neglected/ignored by their parents, yet she still has no boundries. I am tired of having to put things up due to her not wanting to be attentive parent/babysitter she should be. She also is horrible at picking up after herself and the children. It really is getting on my nerves.
Our relationship in the past was very rocky due to her wanting to able to run our home when she was child and have no boundries set on herself.
How do I approach this with her and not break the fragile relationship we have now? Our relationship is so-so! I tolerate a lot and do not push myself or ideas on her very often.
2007-03-21 10:26:12 · 4 answers · asked by hey_there_heathe 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
When my step daughter was a child she had boundries and fought them tooth and nail. Now that she is an adult and parent she feels like we were too tough on her!
2007-03-21 10:49:50 · update #1
The fact that you have tolerated her behavior for so long is exactly the problem. She did not have boundaries and limits established when she was young and it will be difficult to do so now. The only thing you can do now is to set those boundaries and stick to them. It is entirely possible that it will drive a serious wedge between the two of you, but it is also your home and the safety of the children is paramount. Sit down as a family and set simple guidelines and rules for behavior. She needs to take care of her child and any children she charged with the care of as well as cleaning after herself. You will also need to get your husband involved. If he will not help you, then it can't work and you will just be the bad guy to both of them.
2007-03-21 10:36:31 · answer #1 · answered by fly guy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
definite, that's incorrect. Ur youthful and have various of options. might u fairly be 50, caught in a marriage the place there grow to be in no way love, dreaming of the days whilst u have been 20 and had ur p.c.. of adult men, wishing u can get those years decrease back and hating ur husband. Or be 50, had all those sturdy/undesirable studies, tried on some adult men that helped you come across what u cherished/disliked, and finding at ur husband thinking all those studies taught you to understand whilst he grow to be the single. And if u're nevertheless single, whats up, the 20s have been one hell of an adventure! do no longer settle. you're too youthful and the international is waiting for ur picking! sturdy success!
2016-10-02 12:55:56 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it's your home. if she makes you feel like crap, tell her. how long will you be able to hold your tounge before you blow up? best to say it now while you're calm.she is sitting for those kids in your home and while they do need to be protected from hazards she should be the one doing it. even if she pays rent she should take care of it. sounds to me like she's looking to make an easy buck by babysitting anyway and is doing a lousy job at it. if she can't pick up her things, pick them up yourself and pack them in the garage or pitch them. perhaps then she'll learn. she's taking advantage of her situation and it won't stop til someone puts their foot down. your husband may try to make excuses for her since she's had no boundries. be prepard for that. best of luck.
2007-03-21 10:41:05 · answer #3 · answered by racer 51 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell her to shut up, she can't even properly take care of her own kid so who does she think she is to tell you what to do in your own home?
2007-03-21 11:08:36 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋