Do any of you truly believe that..............................................................................

Question

... there is a remote chance for a possibility of a purely platonic friendship between two fully grown people of opposite genders if they are both heterosexual beings?

Or do you rather think, like me, that such a bond or friendship is only possible if one (or both parties) is openly homosexual?

If you think that such a platonic relationship is possible between two adults, please tell me how immediately because I am literally dying to find out!!!

This has never happened to me before therefore I do not believe in it but my live-in boyfriend is currently involved in such a situation and I need to know that I can trust him to handle his friendship with this woman.

Furthermore, his female friend wants nothing to do with me, which increases my suspicions that there is more than meets the eye; she refuses to get to know me, as if I didn't exist (he's known her longer).

Your personal thoughts & feelings on this delicate matter please.


P.S. Serious answers from mature adults only please.

Answer 1

yes heterosexual opposite gender people can be purely platonic friends. i have several myself. i believe that when people have a hard time forming those types of friendships it is usually due to something with them as oppossed to it not being possible. some people dont know how to relate to members of the opposite sex in any way other than dating. but really as different as men and women are they are plenty similar enough to be friends.
if you want to be friends with this woman or not worry about what she might be doing with your man, you should first change your attitude. because of course you will be suspiscious if you dont think its possible. but he isnt you and she isnt you and their experiences are probably such that they dont see a friendship as impossible. but since you do you already assume there is something else going on when nothing you have said has really indicated that anything is. so really this is about you and your mindset. i bet if you believed that it was possible to have a platonic friend of the opposite sex you would find that you would.

Answer 2

It is definitely possible, as I have known a number of heterosexual people who have had purely platonic friendships with the opposite gender. However, you have a right to be concerned. It may be that she is just jealous, and this could explain her behavior towards you. Chances are that if these two were going to be more than buddies, it would most likely have happened by now being that he's known her longer than he's known you. But the potential could still be there for more to happen. Does he spend long hours with her on a regular basis? Does he appear to make excuses to go out a lot without you? And how is your relationship with him- does he appear to be committed to you and in love, or has he grown distant? Taking a look at the entire picture could give you a more honest answer than just looking at part of the story, and gives you more information to make a fair judgment.

Answer 3

Maybe the woman doesn't want anything to do with you because she doesn't like you for some reason? Possible becuase you're basically accusing her of being a whore that sleeps with other peoples boyfriends, even though she's been friends with your boyfriend longer then you've even know him and nothing happened between them before you came along did it? Why would they start screwing around together after he's in a relationship when they obviously could have hooked up, guilt free, way sooner?!

I'm best friends with one of my fiance's friends. We've been friends for four years and not even once have I ever considered sleeping with him. Also he is in a committed relationship, with a woman, and has two kids and she is perfectly ok with he and I being friends. We play pool, shoot the Sh**, play video games, we've even shopped for Valentine's and Xmas gifts for our families together. It's totally possible for two heterosexual people of the opposite sex to be friends! Just because you know you could never have a platonic relationship with a guy, doesn't mean it's not possible at all.

I have always personally found that I get along WAY better with guys then I do girls! Girls are too...well they're too freakin' girly and they flip out all the time, and freak over the stupidest things!

All I hear going through my head right now is that song by Pink, Stupid Girls.

Answer 4

I do believe that a platonic relationship is possible between heterosexual beings. However in your case, that does seem odd. But it just might be that she doesn't take a liking to you. The only way to see what's going on is to talk to him. Ask him about her and what their friendship is like. Have her accompany the two of you for coffee and see how she composes herself. If you're sure that she has an agenda, tell her to back off and talk to your boyfriend.

Answer 5

I feel that a man and a woman can have a friendship and not be sexual. I have a best friend and we've been closer than close for 9 years and NOT ONCE has anything ever happened between us. He is straighter than straight! We're like brother and sister. When my current boyfriend and I started dating, he was a little jealous that my friend and i hung out all the time, but once he got to know my friend and was comfortable with our friendship everything worked out.

When my friend started dating his last ex, she was very "territorial" and did not like the fact that one of his best friends was a girl. That sort of harmed our friendship a bit, but that was because she was flaky and didn't want anyone to hang out with him. Not even his guy friends.

I do however think its a little weird that she wants nothing to do with you. Maybe to her, she wants the friendship to be more, but it's all about trust.

Have a little faith and trust in your relationship it will all work out!

Answer 6

I don't care what any man say's, straight men are sexually driven creatures. If she is good looking, sex is ALWAYS in the back of his mind. She may keep him at bay, but guys will befriend women for years and years on the premise that one day they will get it even if they pretend that they are not after that. I would really examine the past of your live-in boyfriend and his behavior will tell you. How long have they been friends? Is this a new friendship? I can MAYBE understand if they have know eachother since grade school. But even then typically men are always on the hunt, even if it is just to satisfy an ego by just being friendly with pretty girls.

Answer 7

i feel that in order to have a serious friendship with the opposite sex you have to be mature. another thing is that if you are in a relationship you should make sure you are able to be totally commit ed in order to have a friendship with the opposite sex. I feel that one of the people in the friendship have to be homosexual in order to have just a friendship this is because many people only have to be mature in order to handle an opposite sex friendship. I f this woman doesn't like you try to trust your partner and not worry about it but make sure you don't let it go because the woman may actually be trying to steal your man and you don't want to get heart broken so don't get comfortable with the situation and give your partner a little trust. if he has lost your trust in passed incidents then i would watch him a little closer.

Answer 8

As much as I would like to say that it is absolutely positive, the honest answer is that usually, there are feelings on the part of one of the individuals. Will anything come of it? Probably not, and if he is a guy with some intergrity and honesty, then I wouldn't worry.

I've had great friendships with guys....and found out later they had feelings, or known all along that I was very attracted, but we were friends. I asked my female friends about it, and they all concur they have had that happen.

Can you do anything about it? Honestly, if you try to, it will probably be a major turn off for this guy and upset him that you actually ask for him to give up his friend. Hang in there, if she has feelings for him, it will come out, and more than likely by her behaving badly.

Answer 9

my best friend is a guy and we are purely platonic. we dated when we first met but that was 11 years ago in middle school. we have grown up with each other. even though there are some people that would like to see us together, we know that we work better as friends than we would as a couple. so yes it is possible. just be honest with yourself and your boyfriend and tell him to be honest with you. if he tells you nothing is going on and you trust him then leave it alone. innocent until proven guilty and don't you try to go and prove it yourself. everything that is done in the dark will eventually come to light.

Answer 10

I think that at one point in time in the "friendship" relationship that one of the heterosexual beings is going to have feelings for the other... Those feelings may be mutual at one point in time or another, those feelings may also never be mutual, but both people may at one point in time have feelings for the other person.

As he has a girlfriend, you, I think that he will be pretty careful around this girl... But that DOES NOT mean that she will be. And the fact that she doesn't want to get to know you sounds to me like she doesn't like you at all. This may mean that she has feelings for your guy, or that she literally does not like you at all... Maybe something about your personality annoys her.

Anyway. I hope that helps. Have a great day!
God bless.