We've never had sex before, and personally I do not want a relationship that starts out with just f**king. Am I wrong on this? Can screwing around lead to love, or should I talk to him, or do something else that can be significant?
Mind you, what we have is wonderful. We both enjoy each others happiness and company. I just want the next step to be love, then sex. He gives the unstated impression that he wants sex, then love.
I don't know what to do or think!
Help me not over think this like many girls do!
2007-03-21 09:41:33 · 22 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I mean we've never had sex with each other before, not that we've never had sex ever.
2007-03-21 09:42:39 · update #1
HAHAHAHA!
OK, sorry, it's just that you've succinctly summed out the difference between men and women with your question.
Here's how it works:
Women love to be in love. They have feelings for guys much earlier (usually) than the guys have feeling for them.
Guys love sex. They'd rather have sex with a woman they find attractive and barely know than not have sex with a woman they love.
The race is: you need to hold back your feelings of love until you find he reciprocates; unfortunately, if you hold sex out until that happens, he may lose interest. Keep in mind that the formula for love is "friendship + sex" (never fails).
So, here's how to get any guy (ladies take note): sleep with him, be his best friend, talk to him about anything, support him, be there for him, feed him. Rinse. Repeat.
THEN
When you want to take the relationship to the next level and he balks, draw back and cut him off. It'll be like an elephant sitting on his chest. Suddenly, his girlfriend/best friend/lover/etc. is gone! Big void. Man confused. Man want girl back and will do what she wants.
We always want what we can't get. If it looks like he's lost you (especially if it seems to another guy), he'll tow the line.
Ah, the games we play.
2007-03-21 09:54:29 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here is the problem, if you tell him you want love before sex, you will always wonder if he just said he loved you so he could have sex with you. Do not have sex with him until you are ready and comfortable with it. Many people have "fallen in love" with someone because they were good in bed and then found out later that all they had was the physical attraction and had nothing in common with the person. Just tell him you do not think your relationship is to the point where you should have sex.
2007-03-21 09:49:04 · answer #2 · answered by Kevin J 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I get your question sista, do you mean you hav'nt made true love sex or just hav'nt had sex with him? If he just want's to f**k you then tell him he need's to be more lovin toward's you! If nothin change's then except that is how he is in the bedroom and get over it or move on! Most girl's like it rough, I know mine does! When we get goin i'm sure were the reason for half these earthquake's n' volcanoe's!! But when we make love we really do make love!! I look into her eye's and it is so passionate that the bird's line up outside on the windowsill and start singing for us!! I'm sure the time will come when he start's showin a little love. He just sound's like an animal and most lad's are!! Patience is the best policy. Good thing's come to those who wait sweetie ; )
2007-03-21 09:59:31 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First, sex can give you feelings of closeness with your partner. If you have sex first, you may take these bonded feelings and think you are in love when you are not and this can complicate things! Second, there is no harm in waiting! Relationships are built on things other than sex. Why don't you let those other things develop and get a solid foundation for your relationship first. I would also definately discuss this with him! If he doesn't like it, then maybe he's not the right one for you.
2007-03-21 09:51:51 · answer #4 · answered by ballroomdancer 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Love comes before sex. Sex can lead to a closer bond; however, sex can also disconnect a relationship. It's all up to you. Do you feel that sex will fill a gap? Are you willing to deal with the risks?
2007-03-21 09:44:35 · answer #5 · answered by Rewind 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just go with the flow...if you love him, then the sex is going to be great. I've been with my boyfriend for over 2 years now and we started out just "screwing"...and as our emotional attachment grew, the sex became more meaningful. And now we do both and always have fun no matter what! =)
2007-03-21 09:45:36 · answer #6 · answered by Leah~Ariana is due Oct. 09~ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The two of you will be going around in circles if you keep, like you said, overthinking this. Men and women see sex very differently - men see it as the beginning of sharing the love, such as, she loves me enough to make love to me, so this should be the start of something wonderful - and women see it as the end, we've expressed our love so much that making love can be the dessert.
2007-03-21 09:46:38 · answer #7 · answered by It's Me 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I agree with two of the above answers. Don't do anything unless you feel ready. I liked the suggestion to have a nice night in with him. Try that and play it by ear. If he is trying to be romantic he probably has some feelings, most guys can't fake being romantic. Just watch him and if it feels right go for it.
2007-03-21 09:52:22 · answer #8 · answered by Beeper 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should think of a romantic dinner that you both could have. like a candle lit dinner and rose petals leading 2 the bedroom and etc. you be creative. you set the mood. you be in control. some men like that for the woman to be in control in the bedroom. jus think of something nice and when yall finish the dinner and things then it puts both of yall in the mood. and then you will sex with luv instead of having sex without feelings.
2007-03-21 09:51:24 · answer #9 · answered by msspongebob26 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hunny, i think you should talk about this with him...regardless of what he says he will respect you more if he falls in love with you before you have sex... sex can be a beautiful thing and it can also be a waste of time...let you're first time with a lovely man be something that you rememba forever xx
2007-03-21 09:47:26 · answer #10 · answered by MattnMoo 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋