My boyfriend and I broke up recently after being together a year. He said he just needs to be alone for a while b/c he doesn't know what he wants or needs and that he thinks he still loves me but he's not sure and thats why he needs to think. I was definietly smothering him, thats my fault. But he told me he wanted to stay in contact and still go to n.y with me for a day trip we planned in April. he also said he wants to go to dinner with me friday. he said he would email me today to check in about Friday and he did. The email was pretty to the point, general "are we still on friday, hope your doing well..." so we are having dinner Friday. Is this relationship salvagable if I learn to back off and be more independent> He's a very independent person which is one big reason we aren't together. I still love him and want to work things out, we are great together. Help!!
2007-03-21 09:26:59 · 13 answers · asked by Heather L 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
I am 25 and he is almost 30. And it is not a "booty call" relationship.
2007-03-21 09:39:34 · update #1
...And I just came to the realization that I was smothering him... so he doesn't even know yet that I am starting to realize what went wrong...
2007-03-21 09:51:58 · update #2
You are obviously not great together if he wants his space. You were not smothering him. He just has intimacy problems. If he really loved you or even liked you he wouldn't make you guys take a break. That means he just wants to keep you around if nothing better comes along. I say he's a selfish guy. Sorry.
2007-03-21 09:31:59 · answer #1 · answered by Eisbär 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My recommendation to you is to find yourself while your ex is taking some time for him. Discover what and who you really are. Fill your agenda with activities, nights out, friends and family. Stay busy and don't be as available as you were in the past. You will see that you will develop your own independance and won't need to rely on someone else all the time. Your journey of self discovery will bring you closer to him in the long run, wether as bf/gf or friends. Either way, you win, as you will have found yourself and you will be more confident and happier. Good luck and hope this helped!
2007-03-21 09:33:25 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
This sort of reminds me of the time that I broke up with Staci near the Denny's restaurant where we used to eat pancakes in the evening while the other cool kids were busy watching Dukes of Hazzard on Friday nights just before the snowfall that did some real damage to my neighbors roof
2007-03-21 09:31:43 · answer #3 · answered by public_sector_moron 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You don`t give your ages, but he sounds a really nice bloke. He isn`t stringing you along and been totally honest with you. Back off and go at his pace and you will hopefully find he will want to take the relationship a step further wen he is ready,
Best wishes for the future ---hopefully with him.
2007-03-21 09:33:08 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
*contemplates*
By stepping away but then deciding to that he's willing to continue to work with the reletionship he's showing (atleast from what I can see) a great deal of foresight, and maturity, quite above average in fact. I think he's being responsible enough that you should go for it, because he's shown he's willing to do all possible to make the relationship workl.
2007-03-21 09:32:36 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would talk to him when you go out to dinner and tell him you did realize that you smothered him and need to back off hopefully he will give you another try because you realized your mistake. he may still more space for a while though
2007-03-21 09:30:27 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmm................. thats a good one.
I think... you have a lot of repairing to do. But in the repair, you have to stay away from him. And when you are with him, be sweet, and light. Read a book on how to manage your smothering ness. Try "The Rules" - it was a real eye opener for me.
2007-03-21 09:31:56 · answer #7 · answered by Ade 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds to me that he still wants to full around you know but doesn't want a committment. That's how they start. If I were you don't go to that trip cause you'll fall for it then later he'll still be away from you and you'll be left over with a heart break.
2007-03-21 09:30:23 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
keep things as they are for the time being, and give him the space he needs to think...guys dnt like naggy girls!
just stay friends with him, and be in usual contact with him, let him know u r there...he will always consider your presence.
2007-03-21 09:32:21 · answer #9 · answered by Farah K 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he is still wanting contact then yes. Let him have his time to think. Keep yourself busy. Do things you've been wanting to do. Good luck!
2007-03-21 09:30:51 · answer #10 · answered by Krystina M 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋