so me and my sister are teenagers and we dont get along AT ALL, we just all together avoid talking, i know sibling rivalry is normal, but im not sure about this. i try talking to her about getting along better and not being so hurtful to each other. could you help..because i dont know how to get through to her? (she's younger than me)
2007-03-21 09:17:49 · 15 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
It sounds just like me and my sister in our teenage years.
Sometimes it gets better, sometimes it doesn't.
My sis and I have found a happy medium supporting each other, sharing parenting advice - honestly, it helps that she lives 4000 km away! 20 years later and she is still the annoying, tattletaling, bossy, my-way-or-the-highway little sister, but I have grown to realize that she is the only little sister I will ever have and we have too many memories (good and bad) to fight over the the small stuff. We tend to ignore the bad stuff - did I mention that 4000 km helps?
My mum and her sister never had a good relationship and to this day still don't. They haven't talked in years!
Ride the wave now and try not to do anything that will permanently affect the relationship. Perhaps, as she gets more mature she will realize how much you mean to her - she won't change completely, but maybe she'll meet you halfway.
2007-03-21 09:50:59 · answer #1 · answered by Calluna 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think being the oldest one you may have an advantage in this case, because younger sisters tend to look up to you. Try to hang out more with her, to share conversations. Just talk more, and listen to each other trying not to argue for every little thing. When I was a teenager i used to fight all the time with my sister, and she used to say thing that hurt me. Not because of what she said, but because it made me believe that she didn't care for me. Anyway it was only that she was jealous and felt treated. Nowadays we are both married, and she has two children and we are really close. We call each other when we need some to talk. We may still disagree but we know each one cares for the other. Hope it helps.
2007-03-21 16:33:38 · answer #2 · answered by Cali 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Don't do anything to add fuel to the fire. Just be nice even when she is being mean. Eventually she will grow up and want a relationship and when that time comes you do not want to have contributed to irreversible damage. If one of you drives or if your parents will let you go some where alone try taking a small vacation together. It's amazing how well you can get along when you're trying to have fun.
2007-03-21 16:47:36 · answer #3 · answered by teresacmt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ok if u are younger then her than wait patiently and be very respectful..U must do so so that the older sibling does not feel intimidated.
If u are older than just start by listening and encouraging the younger sib..coplimentig her looks connecting to her..Ifshe starts hearing good things from ur mouth she wont be able to resist!
And feel a connection ..I also like the first reply to this question...My bro (older)
and I never got along till he left for some forgien country...now however we talk Thank God and get along better..I figured that elder ppl needalot of space and espect to start with!! and start by feeling a connection..What if it doesnt work?? well u willhave in ur heart the satisfaction that u Gave it ur best!
Best of luk honey!! muaaah!
2007-03-21 16:43:39 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i'll tell you that's better than being a teenager having a 9 yr old bro!! I am sure you guys can get along by soending quality time together!! Make a new start and be more mature!! Go to the mall or something or go bowling you teo alone! Have a blast!!
2007-03-21 16:34:58 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The conflict you are having is an opportunity.
Mine the conflict for its constructive nature and this will
DE-emphasis the destructive. This takes advantage of the natural conflict.
1 .As an older sibling I would stop emphasizing getting along. Instead take an aloof position that says you do not care if you get along or not. Make a show of not being upset by her. Let slights fall off your back or go unnoticed. In short instead of trying to make your sister more sensitive make your self insensitive.
2. Make it a rule of thumb that you will allow for conflict within family matters but, that you are united outside the family.
Within the family context allow for conflict and competition. At the same time making sure your sister knows you are her Allie towards outside forces. Do not state these things as much as act them out. Make a show of being protective of your sister to outside forces.
3. Aim for a relationship that provides mutual aid and support capable of both taking advantage of opportunity and facing adversity. Examine goals your sister has, as long as they are healthy, find ways of helping her achieve them. Examine conflicts in your sisters life and find ways to be helpful. Do these things with no expectation of payback. Your payback will be establishing a pattern of mutual aid and support.
2007-03-21 17:27:47 · answer #6 · answered by donsabe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have 2 younger sisters that are 17 and 15. I myself am 23 and get along with both of them. They do not get along at all!! My best advice is start being nice to her. All the time and if she is mean to you then hold in your anger and continue being nice. Once you grow up you learn to get along. I hope this helps.
2007-03-21 16:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by chunkysmom3502 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have three sisters and two of them have been best friends for along time, we are all about 50 years old now... recently since our father passed away, these two sisters have become somewhat distant, and I have become a friend of the sister who I have never been a friend with all our lives. It doesnt make sence and we are nice to eachother, but one sister emails me all the time and the other doesnt share anything from her family life, go figure. things change and we all survive life some how. Of course until we die... hahahaha
2007-03-21 16:51:33 · answer #8 · answered by Grandma of six 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I have a twin sister and we fight all the time-especially over the littlest things! Since I wanted to be the biggest person and call it a truce, I would apologize to her, admit that I'm wrong, and I learn from it. Afterwards, we would laugh about it! I understand that you want to get along with your younger sister, but you should try and talk to her! Good luck!
2007-03-21 16:35:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
try giving her a little space but at the same time being a loving big sister read to her if shes that age take her out with some of your friends or alone together show her how much you care how much she means to you soon you'll get it back in return
2007-03-21 17:17:23 · answer #10 · answered by me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋