Tired and frustrated; Is it wrong how I feel? Help!!!?

Question

I work 3rd shift (11pm-7am) so when I get to bed its almost 8am. My son gets out of school at 230pm so on a good day I get 6 1/2 hours of sleep a day. However taking a nap after is not an option. I have to baby sit his cousins everyday at this time. Were family but everyday they come over, every weekend then sleep over, every Sunday they come over to eat lunch. I see them all the time, when they come over; who ends up watching them all you might ask? That’s right, me, wheres everyone else? good question, I dont know either. What really gets me is when the other people in the house ask "you never spend time with me here, why are you leaving?" I just want to yell.
Im frustrated and just want peace and time to spend with my family. Is this wrong how I feel, I mean, we are family and thats what family does, help each other but its really getting to me. I cant tell my girlfriend, their her (blood) family.
My girlfriend thinks even when everyones here it still quality time. I disagree.

I realize that my needs and sleep is important but I just dont feel that is more important then helping family. I dont care at all losing sleep for my son but...(whatever).
My girlfriend does know (a little) how I feel but like I said in the end I do it for family. Family always comes first in my book (at least my family first, then everyone else).
I dont want to let anyone down.

Answer 1

I understand your frustration. Too many people in the house can be such a headache!

As a human being, it's totally natural for you to crave some peace and quiet. People are inherently social creatures, but we also have intense inner workings. Besides, babysitting is hardly being social; it's taking care of little people who can't relate to you.

I know that these cousins are your girlfriend's family, and I know it's hard, but you really, really need to tell her how you feel. Make sure you come prepared with suggestions; maybe the cousins can come over a few times a week instead of every single day, or maybe you and she can take turns babysitting. Remind her about your weird hours and let her know that you're worried about your physical and mental exhaustion (if she truly loves you, she'll want what's best for you). Above all, express your desire to spend more time with her alone. As a woman, she will warm up to the fact that you want to give her more attention.

Remeber:
-Discuss the situation; don't argue
-Keep a level head, even if she gets mad
-Don't point fingers-- make this a problem with you, not her

Answer 2

I can tell you that sleep deprivation is a large part of the problem here. You need 8 full hours of sleep each day/night. If you don't get that then you are going to have trouble in other areas of your life because you are not taking care of you.

You need to create a boundary for yourself and somehow figure out how to get the time you need to take better care of yourself, in this example, it's a full 8 hours to sleep.

I am sure with all of the family members you mentioned that there is a solution that you can come up with, even if it is paying someone to take care of your son for a couple of hours in the afternoons so that you can finish out your sleep. His cousins, well, they have parents that will have to figure out what to do with them too.

Good Luck!

Answer 3

How you feel isn't wrong, you have to talk to your girlfriend. It's ok to babysit once in a while, like for example, when you get enough rest (not everyday, for goodness sake!). I understand how u feel. /when my bf is on a night shift, he does nothing but have a cuppa and sit and rest on the sofa when he gets up, and give him his dinner when he's ready and he deserve that after a long night. Tell her how it is affecting you, that you need some rest, I'm sure she will understand. I pressume u havent told her how u feel, so maybe that's why she thinks everything is alright with you. You gotta talk it out.

Answer 4

You need to be able to talk to your g/f about this. If you can't communicate your needs, how are you expecting this relationship to work out in the long run? Learn to tell her how you feel; you don't have to whine or nag or complain - sit down and talk to her in a calm way; explain that you see the situation differently from how she sees it. You deserve your privacy as a couple - sounds like you're not getting much of it. Good luck.

Answer 5

JUST SAY NO!...your house??..if so lay the law down..if you want to keep a lil peace give them a special day or limit to 1 or 2 days a week,explain,you wk nights its getting to you,no like, too bad...turn the power off and water off,and empty fridge.Put your foot down!! your wayyy too nice.

Answer 6

You have to talk with her about your schedule. Put up dark shades on your window, ear plugs in your ears and lock your bedroom door. Explain to everyone you work at night when they are sleeping. You sleep your 8 hours and then have your quality time when you awaken, or else everyone looses.

Answer 7

You are a grown man with a full time job helping to pay the bills. Put your foot down. If your girlfriend wants to visit with her family all the time, tell her to take the kids and go over to their house. You are tired of being the welcome wagon.

Tell the family they are welcome when you invite them but until then...

Answer 8

go spend time alone one weekend explain it to your gf and call her everyday or have her go w/ you and ask her not to bother you go camping or check into a hotel room just rest and chill dont think about anything to extreme

Answer 9

LOL...you are sooo cute!!! I would just talk to your girlfriend about it...because you do have a valid point. Sometimes you just want to be around your family.